easily the single funniest moment in the Moulin Rouge musical is when all the bohemians are just collectively and unanimously like “yeah this is a good idea let’s give the emotionally unstable white American theatre boy copious amounts of extremely potent alcohol, surely that will solve ALL our problems”
and then things pretty much IMMEDIATELY proceed to get so much worse
Pineapple pizza and country music are very similar. People in support of them are chill about it and don’t really shove it in your face. People that are against them will go out of their way to push down pineapple pizza eaters and country lovers.
Harry, Hermione, and Ron are killed early in their search for Horcruxes. Voldemort orders a full invasion of Hogwarts to find the remaining ones. In a panic, Hogwarts is evacuated. One student slept through the evacuation order: 4th year American transfer student Kevin McCallister.
I would like to go on the record as saying….i hate this…….
He’d win
That is part of why….I hate it……bc I genuinely to the core of my being believe that Macaulay Culkin could probably have finished Voldemort faster than the golden trio & Dumbledore combined…………this kid could play a fake recording of Dumbledore saying “Merry Christmas ya filthy animal” with the sound of spells being fired off from the Room of Requirement and Tom Riddle would be tf out of there so fast & slip on a Portable Swamp and fall down a changing staircase…………..
my granddad just called me to tell me how big his cauliflowers are growing and it was so cute theyre “TWICE as big as the ones you get in the shop”
i told my granddad this post has 3,500 notes and he said ‘who are they? do i know them?’ he wanted me to list everyone and see if he knew anyone
If you don’t reblog cauliflower granddad, then you’re just a mean person.
So this is just a PSA, y'all should never sign a contract until you read it. I’m talking in rl right now. I just got through reading my employee handbook/service contract and my bosses slipped in a lot of bullshit like telling me I can’t complain about my job on social media, demanding I work off the clock in the name of good service, expects me to show up on time during inclimate weather, and considered disability or religious accommodation a direct threat to the company.
These are all things I took issue with and brought to my employer for further discussion before signing the contract. Most of my coworkers signed without reading, treating it like an internet terms of service contract.
Tl;dr real life is serious shit, lawyers write contracts to protect your employer FROM YOU, read contracts before you sign them - fucking ARGUE about contracts before you sign them
Also important to note, and something my bf has repeated to me many times: a contract is a negotiation until it is signed, and YOU ARE ALLOWED TO AMEND IT. Tech companies often put some bs in there about “we own everything you make while you work for us” which broadly applied also means anything done on your own time. He always ALWAYS does write-in amendments with initial and date to state that they only own things done FOR the company, on company time, because there have been companies that enforced that bullshit when somebody had a personal side project the company decided they wanted to steal. There’s only one company that threw a fit at his attempts to amend it and he considered that a huge red flag and refused to sign, turned down the job.
Never. EVER. Sign shit without reading it. Also: if your prospective employer won’t let you take the thing home to read before you sign it and says you need to sign it then and there THAT IS A RED FLAG. The job I had that turned out to be abusive as shit was like that. Every other job I’ve been able to bring the contract home to my parents to have a more experienced set of eyes on it. It’s also common practice in some fields to have one’s attorney look over it before signing. So never let them tell you that you can’t look over it with someone else. That’s a fat load of shit. For “lower level” jobs they may not accept amendments to the contract but if they won’t even give you the proper time to read it over, they’re trying to pull some bullshit on you and you’re going to regret it if you sign. Even if there’s nothing bad in what you signed it’s an example of how they are going to treat you while you’re there. Take it to heart and run like fucking hell.
Please also tell your coworkers. Inform others. Tell everyone. Please, for the lovee of everything TELL PEOPLE THEY ARE ALLOWED TO DO THESE THINGS.
Companies BANK on the fact you’re not going to read it. Then they slip in shit like ‘you can’t talk about your wages’ because they want you to keep quiet, so thy can pay that guy six bucks, and pay the guy over there fifteen and pay you eight. They want you to accept it all blindly. PLEASE DON’T STAY BLIND.
Yes, I’ve lost out on jobs because I wanted to read it and they didn’t want me to. Or they wanted m to resign and I said no to to the things they added that I pointed out were unfair and borderline illegal.
Read shit. Tell everyone else to read shit. BE INFORMED.
Absolutely 100% good advice ☝🏼☝🏼☝🏼
Never ever ever sign shit without reading and re-reading it! Take it home, show it to someone more experienced, if you can, show it to a lawyer. A contract is supposed to work for both sides. A company in Toronto tried to make me sign a contract with clause that in event of me leaving the job I will not work in a similar position anywhere in Ontario. Yeah, right, not enforceable in court, dudes, you can’t prevent me from making a living. Read the shit and don’t let them intimidate you.
Anne Hathaway (Harpers Bazaar - November 2014)
I want a remake of the percy jackson movies where anne hathaway plays artemis
The worst excuse I’ve ever heard for gendering books is that, “What if it confuses my kid? What if they grow up gay or trans because I let them read about too many girl/boy things?”
Your son’s first crush might be the rowdiest boy in a story about boys doing “boy things”. Your daughter might want to be with the gentle seamstress who makes the magic cloak, not be her. Your tomboy might be a boy, and he might identify with the protagonist’s science-loving crush, not her.
Your kid is your kid, and they will be who they are meant to be. Give them all the boy/girl books you want, but you can’t control how they’ll feel about them, or what they’ll take away from the story.
As a parent, you can’t iron the world flat to keep your kid from stumbling, but you can absolutely prepare them for the bumps. If they walk an unexpected path, having read more widely will only ease their way, and get them where they need to be.
This is a beautiful post.
Concept: a dragon that tries to sleep on top of it’s friends and family every night bc they’re it’s greatest treasure
where r the rest of the notes, this is Important
Imagine being tailed everywhere by a poorly concealed dragon, following you cause it doesn’t want to be separated from its treasure but also wants to give you the freedom to live your own life. Just like going grocery shopping and a 2 story tall dragon tries to hide behind a lamppost.
Ok, I’ll bite. What’s capitalism?
capitalism is the generally ritualistic practice of eating the flesh of one’s own species
No, that’s cannibalism. Capitalism is the scientific name of the plant you smoke when you want to relax
No, that’s cannabis. Capitalism is an electronic handheld device that’s used for doing math.
No that’s a calculator. Capitalism is the eastern European mountain range mostly in Romania.
No, that’s the Caucasus. Capitalism is a fat worm that becomes a butterfly.
No that’s a caterpillar. Capitalism is when you have your testicles removed.
No that’s castration. Capitalism is when something truly terrible happens and everyone stands around saying that it was probably the will of God and there’s nothing to be done about it since that system works.
No, that’s a catastrophe. Capitalism is a behavioral syndrome marked by an inability to move normally. The word “Capitalistic” is also often used in casual language to refer to a person who doesn’t appear to be responding to any stimuli from the outside world.
No, that’s catatonic. Capitalism is a religion led by a man in a funny hat who trades in souls.
No, that’s Catholicism. Capitalism is another name for the governor of a castle.
That’s a constable. Capitalism is what you feel when someone gets what’s coming to them or falls by their intrinsic character flaws. It’s a kind of emotional release.
You’re referring to catharsis, I think. Capitalism is a molecule found in a lot of spicy foods which bings to heat receptors on the tongue, causing a burning sensation many find pleasurable.
No, no, that’s capsaicin. Capitalism is an espresso-based coffee drink that originated in Italy, and is traditionally prepared with double espresso and steamed milk foam.
No,, that’s a cappuccino. Capitalism is a powdered white drug that people snort or smoke.
No that’s cocaine. Capitalism is a device that uses leverage or elasticity to launch objects long distances. They were used in medieval siege warfare.
No no no! That’s a catapult! Capitalism is the second biggest country in the world!
Nahhhh I think you’re talking about Canada! Capitalism is that zodiac that's the weird goat mermaid~
No that’s capricorn, capitalism is small pieces of paper or metallic material that is thrown at celebrations especially parades and weddings!
Boi, that’s confetti, capitalism is a Fire/Ground type Pokemon that is native to the Hoenn region and was first introduced in Pokemon Ruby and Sapphire.
No, that’s Camerupt. Capitalism is when your boat falls over in the ocean.
No, that’s capsizing. Capitalism is that thing that you take off the top of glass bottles.
No, no, honey those are bottle caps. Capitalism is a system in the body that contains the heart and blood vessels.
Dear, no, that’s circulatory. Capitalisim is the radius of a circle times two and multiplied by pi.
no i think that’s circumference? capitalism is that shit u get in milk
No, that’s calcium. Capitalism is a small feline that vibrates when you pet it.
No, that’s cat. Capitalism is the part of the plane the pilots sit in.
No, that’s cockpit. Capitalism is a synonym for the skull, especially the part enclosing the brain.
No, that’s cranium. Capitalism is a word or phrase that is not formal or literary, typically one used in ordinary or familiar conversation.
No, thats colloquial language. Capitalism is a kind of folded pizza that originated in Naples.
black and asian vikings 100% definitely existed (also, saami vikings)
you know how far you can get into eurasia and africa by sailing up rivers from the baltic and mediterranean seas? pretty fucking far, and that’s what vikings liked to do to trade
then, you know, people are people, so love happens, business happens, and so ppl get married and take spouses back home to the frozen hellscape that is scandinavia (upon which i’m guessing the horrorstruck new spouses went “WHAT THE FUCK??? FUCKING GIVE ME YOUR JACKET???????”)
and sometimes vikings bought thralls and brought them home as well, and i mean, when your indentured service is up after however many years and you’re a free person again, maaaaaaaaaaaaybe it’s a bit hard to get all the way home across the continent, so you make the best out of the situation and you probably get married and raise a gaggle kids
so yeah
viking kingdoms/communities were not uniformly pure white aryan fantasy paradises, so pls stop using my cultural history and ethnic background to excuse your racist discomfort with black ppl playing heimdall and valkyrie
Also we KNOW they got to Asia and Africa.
Why?
Because Asians, Africans, and Vikings TOLD US SO.
Also, we know there was significant mercantile trade between Scandinavia and parts of Pakistan, Afghanistan, Northern India, Kashmir, North and Eastern Africa because there is evidence in burial sites.
Check that out: the goods Vikings and Scandinavians were getting from their trade with the rest of the world was so important they buried themselves with it, as part of their treasure hordes.
We KNOW this.
There’s a reason you can still see many of the trade routes from the ancient world etched into the very earth.
Plus, we know that some Scandinavian cultures that participated in Viking raids had established minority communities of ethnically Mongolian folks living among them during the periods when such raids were common, and it’s difficult to credit that none of them would have signed on.
More about the Islamic World and Vikings (some Vikings converted to Islam! sort of sketchy site tho)
… is that enough? :)
Yet another on the pile of reasons why it monumentally honks me off when pusillanimous, pseudointellectual white supremacist scum try to use Scandinavian culture as a crutch for their arguments and act like Norse mythology agrees with their biases. No it fucking doesn’t, bitch. Odin would personally kick you in the dick for being a witless coward and then send your ass to the Realm of the Dishonored Dead.
I don’t usually reblog stuff, but this thread makes me so happy. See, I love the Viking aesthetic – I love the fusion of organic and geometric in its designs, I love the natural colors, the complexity of textures you get from juxtaposing metal/leather/cloth/fur–
–and I hate how the entire subculture has been so thoroughly co-opted by white supremacists. To the point where I, a person who likes viking stuff, am deeply and immediately suspect of anyone else who likes viking stuff, guilty until proven innocent, cuz that’s what the odds are these days.
Anyway.
As far as I’m concerned, anyone can be a viking, and thus I am so, so pleased to find that the historical record backs me up.
(And amused that Arab intellectual Ahmad ibn Fadlan was so thirsty for vikings.)
reclaim vikings from racists 2kForever
Thank, I thought I was gonna have to add some things, but I’m pretty satisfied. Atleast one Roman dude I know of has been dug out of a viking grave being buried with stuff that both labelled him clearly as of roman ancestry, aswell as integrated into viking life. Muslim coins were found in Sweden. Just. Lots. There’s so much proof of actual logical and interesting stuff. Imagine a society that shut out every other cultural infuence and remain uhhh… “pure”? How boring?? How unrealistic??
Short story of how cats domesticated themselves.
Reblog to support jar-opening lesbians
This is the Sue Perkins of Jar Opening Lesbians
Reblog for success in opening jars on the first try for the rest of the year!
And may this gift follow you into the new year
My favorite thing about the new year is that everyone has entered 2019 ready to start swinging at the first thing that moves. We’re all out here, not taking any shit, ready to fight, beautiful
It’s like none of this “have a good year!” Shit, everyone is just like “you better make it a good year or else” and honestly that’s powerful. We’re all really out here ready to punch 2019 in the throat, iconic
It’s 2019 and we’ve had enough
Its five days into 2019 and its already a hell year
boot up, Bitch
in retrospect, the curse that made the affected person talk entirely in ‘hewwo?’ speak for a week was possibly the cruellest invention the weasley twins ever made
