shhh give her a moment.
on twitter this is a (very) late brithday present for @totallysharpeyed!! happy birthday, ola!
catastrophic-writer-deactivated
Story Time:
Working in retail is really fun, and the times when major fuck-ups happen, they can be either anxiety-attack inducing, or make it possible to get through the rest of your god-awful shift with a smile depending on the customer. My all-time favorite absolute fuck-up is as follows:
This kind woman is just doing her thing. She scans her membership card from her keychain. The register beeps to acknowledge the scan. We continue as usual. Neither of us notice right away, but after I’ve scanned a few more items, I hear a very quiet, “Um,” from the lady, very polite. I look at her. She is looking at the screen of my register, blinking. I, too, look.
And lo and behold. There is a charge of over four-thousand dollars ($4,000) worth of garlic bread staring us in the face. There are no words for a minute. We’re just… in awe. How did this happen? How the hell did this happen?
She didn’t even have garlic bread in her cart.
I sputter a partial apology - I was incapable of forming actual sentences in the moment - and try to void the garlic bread. Since there was no garlic bread to scan, I try to manually remove $4,000-some from this transaction.
Well, the registers don’t like it when you try to void off more than five dollars ($5) from a transaction, so naturally it pings my manager for confirmation, but she’s not by her pager.
At this point, both myself and the lady are just… dumbfounded. She’s not even mad. I’m not even all that embarrassed. Both of us are just looking at the screen. There’s a bit of laughter, but it’s mostly just… confusion.
I have to call through the whole store for my manager on the intercom because she’s not answering. She shows up, ready to override and void it, when she too, sees what exactly is being voided.
“What… did you do?”
“I genuinely. Have literally. No. Idea.”
She voids it, and I go to finish the transaction and tell the woman her total (minus the garlic bread). My register pings. It tells me that she hasn’t scanned her membership card. Odd. I distinctly remember her doing that. The woman goes to scan her card again, and I notice that her library card is stuck to her membership card. I tell her gently, and she separates the two and scans her card.
My manager, hovering nearby still, sees this and says, “I think it mistook the barcode of her other card for garlic bread, and the remaining digits were read as the price.”
And that’s when the laughter really came over us. There were no hard feelings at all. In fact, the woman was incredibly glad that the receipt still showed the garlic bread and the voiding of. I will remember it until the end of time, my only regret in the entire situation being that I didn’t take a damn picture, because she has proof and I don’t. But I swear to God it happened.
TDLR; Library Card Charged $4,000 of Garlic Bread.
that’s just how valuable library cards are. each one is worth at least $4000 of garlic bread
A picture is worth a thousand words, a library card is worth $4000 worth of garlic bread, if we can figure out how many words the average library card can check out at once, we can probably work out a picture-to-garlic bread conversion here, too.
quick question: how the fuck do I get through the rest of my life like this
maybe i like it when a female character is deeply flawed and responsible for countless deaths and so on and so forth. more female characters should be deeply flawed and responsible for countless deaths
minos was such a pussy. if my wife gave birth to an epic minotaur baby i wouldn't have locked him in a labyrinth. i would have taken him to the mcdonalds play place (athens) every day and let him eat as many stray mcnuggets (athenians) off the floor as he wanted. i love you hungry son
when I was a kid you had to do the charlie the unicorn voice whether you liked it or not. you had to say candy mountain charlieeee in the voice. not like these days
its always "what are your plans for the future, you should really be planning for the future" and never "wow that character you're obsessed with sounds so cool can you explain them to me. im sure you get them more than anyone else"
nobody understands this highly popular fictional character at all except for me and my carefully curated panel of mutuals
I was being cancelled because apparently it was classist to put feathers on dinosaurs.
Both dream me and irl me were very confused.
it might have been a dream, but feathered dinosaurs being linked to an ideology isn't that uncommon. Them being viewed as "leftist", "woke" or "gay" has occured several times.
I collect these examples.
reblog if you like dinosaurs, are gay, or just really like feathers
magical girl transformation but theres no pretty lights or sparkles just grotesque and blood curling body mutation layered by the sounds of joints cracking bones snapping and muscles twisting unnaturally and she looks like a normal magical girl at the end
who fucking reblogged this as ben ten
having cousins is a great way to add some supporting characters to your life without needing to explain their motivations. they're just cousins
fuck me all my friends have jobs which means they have no time to play toys with me and its fuycking ruining my life
fuck me i have a job which means i have no time to play with my friends and its ruining my life
blood being frequently described as having a "coppery smell" in fiction is kind of funny considering that there is a metallic component to blood and it's not copper
in fact if your blood smells or tastes like copper you probably have more urgent things to worry about than it being outside your body. it's probably better that it's not inside you anymore actually.