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*talks about demons loudly in local diner*

@chinfinitesadness / chinfinitesadness.tumblr.com

I am probably the worst dressed customer currently eating mozzarella sticks in this establishment.
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chinfinitesadness
thebootydiaries
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railroadsoftware

person: so what have you been up to me: (speaking very humble) well, I just got some new carpet.. it’s plush… person: (trying not to sound envious) pl… plush? wow. I hear thats the nicest of all carpets me: oh it’s nothing..

chinfinitesadness
corvidcall

Imagine if you were a Christian medieval person from a small village and you had a feud with your neighbour… how annoying would it be to see them in church every Sunday? Not only are you obliged to be in the same space with them every week but you’d have to watch them receive the sacrament and have their sins forgiven even though you know damn well they don’t deserve it… and on top of that you get the priest preaching “love thy neighbour” from the pulpit, I think the fuck not, I’ll not love an unneighbourly misbegotten churl such as he, preach though thou might, father

I think I just got possessed by the ghost of a man who’s still really upset about his neighbour’s pigs eating his cabbages

chinfinitesadness
corvidcall
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elucubrare

i think my ideal life is a senator’s son in, say, 140 BC. I’m climbing the cursus honorum, but in a very leisurely way; I’m not really aiming for consul, which would be Too Much Trouble. I have dinner parties at which we discuss Greek theater and maybe think about trying to write Latin versions of them, but dismiss it as, again, too much work. Cato probably hates me. i am idle. my villa is opulent. 

chinfinitesadness
bob-belcher
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bob-belcher
me, driving down the road: I am so much happier now that I'm dead. Technically, missing. Soon to be presumed dead. Gone. And my lying, cheating, obvlivious--
my driving instructor: please stop doing that
chinfinitesadness
macbethpro
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sibbun

List of ancient beings on earth right now

Tommy Wiseau

Eric Andre

Keanu Reeves

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susiethemoderator

This is Jeff Goldum erasure

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creepsandcrawlers

Eric and Jeff are both like… Young immortals, a couple hundred years old

Keanu is a healthy fully formed immortal, a good 2-3 thousand years old

Tommy wiseau predates modern man, and has gone mad with eternity

chinfinitesadness
corvidcall

*signs one change.org petition*

first email in my gmail account the next day: THEY’RE SHOOTING BABIES OUT OF A LIVE CANNON AND YOU’RE JUST SITTING THERE AT YOUR COMPUTER LIKE A COMPLETE DUMB SHIT 

chinfinitesadness
tortellinigirl
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jonbutter

i love that even though he was introduced and then killed off within 10 episodes, Lil Sebastian left a bigger impact on the entire show than Mark Brendanawicz did after 2 fuckin seasons

chinfinitesadness
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juicemcelroy

I’ve noticed on some tags of this post that you guys wanted the hear the audio, so here it is! 

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theubergrump

Transcription:

  1. “and I’m the baby Griffin.”
  2. “And I’m Griffin, and I’m a child.”
  3. “I’m Naruto.”
  4. Griffin: [sneezes] “Sorry guys, I think I’m just coming down with a touch of basketball feverrrrr” Justin: “You have to say your name.” Griffin: “Griffin McElroy, I have basketball fever.”
  5. Griffin: “And I’m Griffin McElroy. I am playing Minecraft. Right now.” Justin: “Right this second.” Griffin: “While we record the show.”
  6. “I’m Hank “The Spank Tank” Jankerson“
  7. “I’m your sweet baby Jesus brother, Griffin McElroy.”
  8. “I’m your sweet baby, Griffin.”
  9. “I’m Travis.”
  10. “Uh, I’m Griffin McElroy, and, yeah, I’m just gonna, I don’t have shit to do.”
  11. Griffin: [makes obnoxious dolphin noises] Justin: “why. why” Griffin: [continued dolphin noises] Travis: “why are you doing that” Justin: “how could this…” Griffin: “It’s my- it’s how I commune. It’s how I commune with my dolphin brethren.”
  12. Griffin, in a spooky voice: “And I’m the baby New Year-” Justin: “Welcome, Baby New Year!” Griffin” -ghost, I’m the ghost of Baby New Year.”
  13. “I’m your babiest brother Griffin FUCKING McElroy.”
  14. “And I’m Griffin McElroy, the Emperor of Piss.” [laughter]
  15. “I’m your sweet baby brother Griffin McElroy and look at how sticky my hands are! Gonna put ‘em right in your pockets and get all that sweet change out.”
  16. “I’m your oldest brother, Justin McElroy- no wait”
  17. “I’m Justin McElroy Junior.”
  18. “I’m your sweet-ASS brother Griffin McElroy.”
  19. “And I’m Griffin. Guys, what the fuck even is goin’ on anymore?”
  20. Justin: “And what’s your name, little one?” Griffin: “It’s- I think its Ghoul Rat Fin Mummy Rat.“
  21. Griffin, in a shaky voice: “And I’m Pimbles, the- [laughing] and I’m Pimbles, the bread man.”
  22. Griffin: “Griffin Tyler McElroy, boys, what’s that-” Travis: “wait, hold on”
  23. Griffin: “I’m your sweet baby brother, Tyler Tyler Tyler.”
  24. “And I am the valeDICKtorian. You don’t get my name.”