b

i wish i could romanticize what pregnancy did to my body. i wish i could see what i am now and think about the amazing thing i did but i just look and see something tragic and pathetic. i wasn’t even really skinny before but i recovered and i felt good about myself. now i know i will never be what i once was again

day 2

i’m 5’4. never hated it. been this height since 5th grade. i guess i’m fine since my husband is so tall it helps me feel smaller at least

i think it would be best for me to starve until it killed me. i want to be skinny yes, but i also want to make decisions for my life again.

YOOOOO i’m down to 170 this morning i’m so happy now if i can just keep going this way especially while family is here. also i’m doing mushrooms tonight so i’m probably gonna eat decent today, like 1000-1200 cals bc i don’t want it to effect me bad w barely anything on my stomach

stayed under my goal for the dayyyy i ate 100cals for lunch w a yogurt i didn’t finish and these popped chips. then dinner i had a lot of green beans and a small burger w no bun and 60 cal cheese. fasted for 20 hours prior to eating. i feel like that scale is gonna be heavier tmmr god i hope i’m under 172

ig im gonna do this so maybe it’ll keep me motivated idk

height: 5’4

heaviest weight: 190 (but i was 9 months pregnant so not sure how that counts)

lowest weight: 128

current weight:172

gw1: 130

gw2: 120

ugw: 105

we’re having family in this weekend for my bday soon and i know it’s gonna be hard to stay strict while they’re here. i’m gonna aim for less than 800cals a day but i will not go over 1000 a day. trying to fast until after they get here which would be around 22-24 hours. i’ve seen the number go down and i feel that feeling and don’t wanna get sidetracked

my shirataki noodle soup omg and the whole thing is only 147 cals but i won’t eat it all

doing a 18hr fast today bc i haven’t fasted in a while and i don’t wanna start too long and not keep it. i know i need to be at least at 24 hours but i’m not gonna push it and fail. just 2 hours left and i’ll drink a protein shake and make shirataki noodles w veggies. that should be 275cals

mega sucks when u did the work and lost the weight and u were better, and then u gain all the weight back and have to do it again. but there’s no excuses if i did it before i have to do it again. my goal a month ago was 175 by oct 30 and i’ve beat that already. my goal is 170 by oct 30 now.