Santa is on strike due to global warming.  All presents this year will be delivered by Sasha the Christmas Tiger.  Milk and cookies may not be sufficient.

“MUST BRING PRESENTS TO GOOD CHILDREN”

“Yes good”

“AND EAT THE BAD ONES”

“Wait no”

“EAT THEM”

“sasha no”

@burstofhope the Christmas tiger is watching

She is making a list

It is not easy with her paws but she is making it

shes almost here

Okay fine this is the ONE Christmas thing I will reblog before Thanksgiving BUT THAT’S IT

SASHA’S BACK ON MY DASH!

Y’all better behave, you have two months

You better watch out

You better watch out

You better watch out

I MISS MIIVERSE :( children are super funny

god i miss this

What even was Miiverse?

IM CRYING

KILOMÈTRES MORALES ASDGHASDJASJKDKJA

This is how you introduce a fuckin villain in dnd

As cat owners we like to joke about how the cat is the one who’s really in charge, but let’s be honest here: my cats think they’re in charge, but they’re also fucking dumbasses. It’s sort of an incompetent-king-and-long-suffering-advisor arrangement, if the king were prone to getting their head stuck in Kleenex boxes.

Me, disentangling my cat’s claw from the blankets for the third time:

when she says she doesn’t send nudes

when guys objectify women and expect them to send nudes

when someone asks you about your nuclear plans for russia

When Russia sends you nudes

#what the fuck happened here

This is my favorite post in all of tumblr

reminder that this post is now illegal in Russia

reblog it, because Russia can´t

Thanks Obama 

Wtf

When Russia makes this post illegal

I HAVE ONLY SEEN THIS IN SCREENSHOTS

I will reblog this every goddamn time I find it on my dash

#this is actually iconic #and i love it so much #and i don’t know why it took me so long to find it but #reblog forever #reblog always #because russia can’t

forever that girl that gets really excited when the sky is in pretty colours

if you’re a baby gay and this is your first pride, watch your drinks! men are trash across all sexualities

I know boys don’t get these talks so let me clarify:

This doesn’t just mean alcohol

Don’t accept any open drinks

After you get your unopened drink, you keep it in your site

You have to go to the bathroom so you leave your drink on a table? That drink is now dead to you.

You’ve been holding your drink way low out of your eyesight and people are crowding? That drink is now suspect.

Stay safe, babies

Also: Rohypnol (a date rape drug) tastes VERY SALTY. If your drink is suddenly salty, STOP DRINKING IMMEDIATELY. 

Buddy system, y'all. If your friend is acting *way* drunker than they should, take them to an Urgent Care or ER. Date rape drugs can kill you.

always rb

rb for the advice

And not just the boys, but girls too.

Just because you’re in a bar or club with only other women does not mean you are inherently safe.

My best friend got drugged by a girl in an all female bar and was almost raped in the bathroom.

Always remember to be careful.

Alllll of this. I’ve seen some shit at pride man… Be safe

you youngins with your crunchyroll and licensed subs on everything are missing out on the true weeb experience that was small subber groups doing whatever the hell they wanted with their translations

a nugget like this will never happen again

I’m screaming

$50,000 immediately dropped into my bank account wouldn't improve EVERYTHING but boy it sure would be a grand, sexy little start to a good, happy life path, don't you think

Reblog for unexpected $$$ dropping into your Bank account.

yes.

my friends: haha hey whats up we havent talked in a while

me:

This is my cat, Brigitte.

24 hours after I brought her home, I got a mindblowing job offer.  Since I adopted her nine years ago, my life has become an amusement park.  She has brought me good luck ever since I took her into my home.

I’m telling you, there’s something about this animal.  Good fortune follows her everywhere.

I don’t want to be selfish.  I have everything I need and then some.  So, I’m sharing her with you.

Reblog Brigitte and you’ll receive fantastic news in the next 24 hours.

And when you do, please remember to help your local SPCA and support them in the difficult work they do for wonder animals like Brigitte.  Any donation helps your SPCA, even if it’s just five bucks.

Kitties like Brigitte are counting on you to give back when they bring you good luck.

Thanks, and congratulations on your good news!

we out here spreading those Lucky Cat Vibes™®

Thank you for being a father to all of us, Luke.

Rest In Peace.

Male news anchor shows off makeup blending skills in hilarious video

@fearofablackteeshirt

Please please please let him start a makeup channel omg

“This is concealer, it is for concealing…..things”

“I kinda feel like Bob Ross” “Happy trees on my face”

“Violently blend, violently blend, violently blend like you’re ashamed of your face” 😂

“I sweat like there is something glandularly wrong with me”

I’M JUST TRYING TO LET PEOPLE IN ON THE PROCESS, JEN

Some of you never had to be swift as the coursing river, with all the force of a great typhoon, with all the strength of a raging fire, or as mysterious as the dark side of the moon and it shows.

WHY WOULD THEY CUT THIS?????

This is legiterally the funniest thing snl has done in decades

they cut it because of the ONE gay reference

Same energy

both of these sketches were written by julio torres - here’s his twitter

Omg 😂

I just want you all to know that my dramatic 6 year old ass would have loved all of this shit.

I’m the dramatique™ hand to face moment in the broken mirror.