Hey, it's been a while since I was last really on this hellplane.

Where did the tab showing when a post was posted go? Like, it showed the time + date. Is that totally gone or just moved?

I really wish there were more like. personal? information on the Kings, Dukes, Princes, and.. so many other titles, of the Ars Goetia. But.. That's really just UPG. We only know the "facts". What they can provide. We don't get to know what they're *like*.

Oh! Life updates!

I've been diagnosed with ADHD (finally).

My fiance and I went poly after a kink-related issue happened. (Intense eye contact caused sub drop, which was absolutely wild.)

We both started dating someone.

I started dating her boyfriend.

He's been helping me with my communication issues and I've improved massively in that area.

Fiance and I broke up because neither of them would no longer allow us to ignore the massive issues we had. He and I are so much healthier now.

And some other stuff. But those are the highlights!

*Waves.*

I selected non-binary for the first time in an application today. I actually sat, stared at it, considered it and my feelings on being girlflux, for about ten minutes.

Most of my life, my #genderidentity has been fairly solidly just plain "female". Several years ago, I began having feelings of something else, something different. Something more? Nah, just something... different.

Gender identity wasn't something I really considered until I felt a change. It's not something you can really put words on. "How did you feel this change?" "Where [mentally, emotionally] did you feel this change?"

Honestly, I don't know. And it wasn't until just in the past several months that I realized what I felt even really had a name. I've heard of demigirls and demiboys, but that just. It didn't *fit* my feelings. Girlflux and boyflux are microlabels next to demigirl/boy, but the definition thereof just didn't really sit right with me. So it was "mostly female and a teeny bit. something else". And feelings persisted in a spread I'd call like. 95% female, 5%. Not female? Formless... entity? Is "entity" even a gender identity?

Then when I heard about the girlflux label, saw it's flag, and what it is, I was like "That's it! That's me!" And since then I've also come to tentatively call it "void". I'm mostly female, but there's a teeny bit of me that's. nothing.

Typing out these thoughts, I wonder if it's more like gender null? I'm not that well-versed though.

Anyway, I digress. Back to the application.

I realized that, during that application, my identity has shifted over time more to be along the lines of 80%, 85% female. I prefer she/her pronouns and I like the idea of the occasion "they" peppered in. But I used it to see how I'd feel about it, but it still doesn't fit. Same goes with "it" and "xe". I like the ideas of these pronouns, but they still don't fit quite right.

I wonder how my idea of my personal gender identity will change over the next year, three years, five years.

I'm bored. Want to skate. Want to hang out with friends. Mildly tempted to ask people about hanging at freaking Walmart.

Should probably at least go to the gym, but...

Looking for native/indigenous American stores (I forget the correct term, I'm sorry!)

So pretty much the title. I'm looking specifically for stores that deal with animal byproducts such as fur and leather. (If anyone knows anyone that does paper, that'd be amazing, too!)

I'm trying to make the switch to Firefox, but oh my god the lag. Like. Actual software lag. Can it PLEASE just. not freeze?

Forgot you could turn off Top Posts. So glad to be back to most recent.