Kinda crazy how my first cellphone didn't have a camera or internet and 17 years later this thing knows more about me than I do and gives people brand new mental ilnesses.
my parents: "We bought you a cellphone so you can contact us if your bike gets a flat tire on your way to school!"
Cursed Artifact (common item) has been added to your inventory
A comic I made a year ago on another blog
Re-posting it for the great skeleton war 2015
and all skeleton wars past and future
happy Thursday the 20th
I’d have to wait months or even years for another chance to reblog this, so why the fuck not?
next days you can reblog this on a Thursday the 20th
August 2015
October 2016
April 2017
July 2017
September 2018
December 2018
June 2019
February 2020
August 2020
You know, just in case you wanted to set your queue for the next 6 years
TODAY
Since it’s now August 20, 2020… The next days you can reblog this on a Thursday the 20th:
If you wanted to set your queue for the next six years.
THANK WHATEVER COSMIC BEING IS OUT THERE THAT THIS CAME UPON MY DASH HAPPY THURSDAY THE 20TH!!!!
happy Thursday the 20th guys
Holy shit, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Tumblr post with this many notes. See you all in April!
HAPPY THURSDAY THE 20TH @hellsite-hall-of-fame
IT’S THURSDAY THE 20TH
My roommate (the one who hates septum piercings so much they make her gag) thinks my art is the most disgusting and ugly shit on the planet, and every time I announce that I've sold a piece or gotten into a show, she makes the kind of facial expression you'd expect of someone eating chili at a live autopsy and says, "I'm glad you're having fun! :)"
You're all misunderstanding; I love her so much and I'm having a great time. It's like when you're a kid and you chase other, less cool kids around the playground with a fun worm you found.
She doesn't consume any media besides sitcoms and reality TV, and doesn't have social media besides Facebook, so when I come to her with something even remotely bizarre, she just has absolutely nothing to compare it to. Like, when I show her something mildly weird that made like this:
She's just fully convinced that I personally invented the concept of body horror all on my own specifically to make her life a living hell. She thinks I'm the only person like this alive. It's so funny. I love her.
In 4th grade, my bff was in a death feud over chess with a boy in our class but instead of competing like normal people they decided that the best way to determine who was chess master was for each of them to select one of the two biggest idiots in class and teach them to play chess, My Fair Lady style, and see whose idiot won. We are just now, 22 years later, grappling with the moral implications of this exercise.
*leaning across the table*
tell me more
this is too good to be tags
#I akways click with this sort of thing on a personal level#because I had an elementary teacher who#looking back#ran his 3rd 4th and 5th mixed grades classroom like a giant social experiment#and....it was so incredibly fun#but also. dude. what#what was that gym game you had us play where we had to be SNEAKY#and steal a keyring from under the chair of a blindfolded person#and if they pointed at you#you were out#just think. around twenty 8-11 year olds#that all learned to walk SILENTLY and communicate with ONLY THEIR EYES#because our teacher looked at us with a twinkle in his eye#and had the audacity to say “I bet no one can do it”
A dragon swooped down and ate an alchemist, along with the permanent invisibility potion he just made. Thus, the most terrifying creature to ever exist was born.
oh
regular lobsters start out as just little lobsters but spiny lobsters start out as these beautiful weird larvae that also evolved to ride on top of jellyfish. This jellyfish is too small though!!!
imagine some other guy evolving specifically just to annoy you. what the fuck
White boy shocks staff at chinese restaurant by ordering in perfect ancient sumerian
The white boy shock staff
They're currently out of stock because it's a small business but they're going to be restocked soon!
What kind of fae bullshit is this
Ok y’all brace yourselves cuz I just learned about a new animal
Yes, that is an animal. Yes, scientists refer to it as the purple sock worm. No, that’s not it’s real name, silly, it’s real name is Xenoturbella!
When these deep-sea socks were first discovered, no one knew what the fuck they were looking at (and, really, can you blame them?). They have no eyes, brains, or digestive tracts. They are literally just a bag of wet slop. DNA analysis initially seemed to indicate that they were related to mollusks, until the scientists realized that DNA sample was from the clams they had recently eaten (yes, they can eat with no organs. We don’t know how.)
Scientists then analyzed the data again and tentatively placed them in the group that includes acorn worms, saying that their ancestors probably had eyes, brains, and organs, but simplified as a response to their deep sea ecosystems.
Later DNA testing has since shown that they are their own thing! Xenoturbella, along with another simple and problematic to place creature called acoelomorphs, belong to their own phylum called Xenacelomorpha! This places them as the sister group to all bilateral animals. So, they just never evolved brains, eyes, or organs. They are a glimpse at a very primitive form of animal that never bothered to change, because apparently what they do works. Rock on, purple sock worm.
I am not going to school today because I have “dislocated my entire skeleton” in my sleep.
Sometimes it’s just like that
A forgotten god cannot run my life any worse than I am currently running it myself.
Bog mummy take the wheel
I feel sorry for the old man, but it was stealing. There is no apparently about it. Water is not free, it’s not a right to have it, and people pay must pay for it. If a government gives a thing to you like utilities, its still not free because they take it from somewhere else, like in taxes.
my friend visiting my house: hey i’m thirsty can i get a glass of water
me:
Nestle isn’t gonna fuck you
Also water IS a human right, it’s classified as one by the UN the only country that really disagrees with this is the United States
If I buy a loaf of bread, and then decide to make a sandwich for my friend from some of it, is this STEALING? Is my friend STEALING the bread I already PAID for in full? Is the bread seller entitled to receive compensation because I, the person who PAID ALREADY the full value of the bread they sell, decided to give away a portion of it (a portion from an already PAID FOR product).
When people say that capitalism rots your brain they aren’t kidding - this is literally a disease, one of the mind and soul, and it’s contagious, and it’s deadly… Luckily there is a cure:
to add wood to the fire, it should also be pointed out - her mother wasn’t stealing that water - she was paying for it. Because there’s a meter that reads how much water your household uses and the water company then charges you accordingly. She was -paying- for the water she was giving to the neighbor. And still got shut down. Because this wasn’t about what was right and it wasn’t even about what was fair or fair trade - it was about punishment.
I’m apoplectic with rage that someone would call giving water, that they paid for, to someone else who could not afford water “theft”.
What a terrible husk you walk around in, an absolute shell of humanity with nothing inside.
^^^THIS. The water was from the neighbors’ hose, and those neighbors were paying their water bill. Also they literally gave him access so IT WAS NOT STEALING.
Let’s all at least try not to be bootlickers for our evil overlords, hmm?
Edited to add: Saying this is stealing is about as logical as saying it’s stealing to let a friend use the bathroom when they visit your house.
Years ago I overheard (eavesdropped upon) a telephone conversation between a public parks official and a golf course owner.
Parks Official: No sir, you cannot
Parks Official: No. They are a protected species
Parks Official: You CANNOT shoot them
Parks Official: Or poison them, no. Or trap them
Parks Official: If you like, we can-- no, I'm it. I'm the ranking official here. There's nobody above me. My boss? You mean... the governor's office? Sure, I guess. Okay bye
After he hung up, he gave me this thousand-yard stare before answering my unvoiced question.
"There's a flock of flamingos at the 9th green disrupting golfers. He wanted permission to go out there with a shotgun and take care of matters, but sensed there might be... legal ramifications. So he called us."
I laughed. "Does that happen often?"
"Oh, we get calls like that a couple times a month."
Country clubs should be burned to the ground and their golf courses turned into community gardens i am 10000% serious
Was golf created for the sole purpose of hoarding ridiculously large amounts of land just to brag about how little they use it?
Yes, literally.
pasta expands and spinach shrinks. if we could have them mate we may be able to creayte a food which does not change at all when cooked
My friend group created a Minecraft server together and added a mod that let us craft meth.
Breaking bedrock
I am the one who blocks
