Cat:FREE HIM!

this is the cutest shit ive ever seen

The person I reblogged this from deserves to be happy

I tried to scroll past this. I really did

I feel like minor acts of kindness and good intentions are really important on days like this. 

The Earth is lumpy.

I was not aware of this. thank you

this makes so much sense but it makes me so uncomfortable 

i wish i hadn’t seen this

One time my bf was telling me about people who argue about intelligent creation by saying “the earth is perfectly round!” And I said “but it isn’t!” And he was so proud of me

okay so im just learning this

yet another unrealistic expectation for planets

Reblog if you’d be okay if your friend came out as transgender

let’s see how many transphobics we can weed out

if you can’t reblog this unfollow me right now

I hate that I laughed at this

“Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there,” and another one appears. And dodges the downward sweep of claws, darting to the side, bouncing off the pentagram’s barriers, and tripping over the demon’s tail. “In the Vatican!” she cries out as she moves, using the State Farm Agent summoning charm to modify the situation as she was taught, and mentally thanking her trainer for expecting her to be fast enough to do it on the first incantation.

Most State Farm agents, when they run into trouble, have to get the customer to do the jingle a second time. That guy with the buffalo was lucky.

The magic takes hold, and she materializes in the aisle of St. Peter’s Basilica, still holding the demon by the tail, in the middle of Sunday morning Mass. The music clatters unprofessionally to a halt as laypeople, deacons, priests, monks, nuns, and the Pope all turn their attention to the surprised demon whose fifth course of dinner has turned, unaccountably, into a visit to one of his least favorite places on Earth.

There is chanting in Latin, and vaguely cross-shaped gestures, and clouds of incense, and the demon vanishes in a puff of smoke, whether from the efforts of the clergy or of his own volition no one can say. The Agent doesn’t wait, fleeing towards the doors and escaping in the confusion.

She gains the exit and walks, purposefully, toward Rome proper; there, she ducks into the nearest alley. A burner cell phone comes out of one of the less-used pockets of her purse, and she dials a number from memory.

“Allstate,” says a smooth masculine voice after three rings.

“State Farm,” she answers. “I’m calling in a favor.”

“Yeah?” Interest. “What sort?”

As she talks she’s pulling out her smartphone, keying an app that was activated by the summoning, and pulling up the policyholder data that enabled the incantation to work.

“Insurance fraud,” she said, and can almost hear teeth sharpening on the other end of the line. She gives him the name, the address, the policy number. “Someone needs some mayhem.”

“That’s my name,” the man says.

She smiles. “Someone needs all the mayhem.”

He chuckles. Slow. Evil. Even with the echoes of demonic laughter ringing in her ears, she’s impressed. “Don’t worry,” he says, almost purring.

“You’re in good hands.”

OH MY FUCKING GOD I just read insurance commercial fan fiction and it was so good, bless you, I’m going to remember this day forever.

I never knew insurance fanfiction was everything I ever wanted.

I… well.

Welp.

*dies from the urge of wanting to read more of this beautiful piece*

literally wtf the fuck

I DON’T USE THE WORD WIZARD LIGHTLY BUT

?!?!?!!!!!!!?????!!,!?!?!!?!!!!!!!!?!???

Imagine if people’s hair color matched their eye color

imagine no further. i am a real live wonder. dark brown eyes dark brown hair. try not to lose yer shit my friend… ;)

this is the money dog, repost in the next 24 hours and money will come your way!!

ehh what the hell

OH MY GOD SO NO FUCKIN BULLSHIT I SWEAR To GOD. I reblogged this an hour ago and IM NOT Lying My Tax Refund which I did in late march popped into my Bank Account, and it was a Decent sized amount……

WHAT THE FUCK Is THIS MAGIC!??!?!?! Im trying this again IM NOT BSing hahahaha thats actually pretty cool xD

yooooo

yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

FUCKIN YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

no BULLSHIT I KID YOU NOT! Look what I found while walking Home…..

OH MY GOD

OH MY F*CKIN GOD

THIS POST FUCKIN WORKS?!?!?! THIS IS PAST A COINCIDENCE NO WAY!??! NO FRIGGIN WAY!!! 

Im Going to reblog this every day to test this, its MAGIC ITS FRIGGIN MAGIC 

I need to believe in the heart of the post…

Oh? Well… *reblag*

i reblogged this and now my uncle is giving me 250 to dye my hair nani the fucko

Reblogging bc the dog is cute tbh

Full version of my comic Counting Stars, which I drew for a competition.

Makes me tear up every time. :’)

never not reblog

Oh, I love this.

ALL THESE FEELINGS.

this is very lovely. its so cute i just aejbfhkjbsfkhbfkdabkbakfjbkhbfklHDNKHFKBHFKDJFSBKJADBKJ ALL THESE FEELINGS.

All the feelings. I’m crying.

I'm actually crying. THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL!!

‘once you’ve hit rock bottom the only place to go is up!! :)’

You underestimate me. I’ve brought my pickaxe and I’m ready to dig.

my biggest disappointment in life is that i will probably never kiss someone wearing a full suit of armour 

I don’t care that it’s June, here’s the Doctor and the Ponds singing you Christmas Carols.

The person I reblogged this from deserves to be happy.

Me to every dog ever, regardless of their age.  (via hannahlipow)