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"Sir, your child does not need a knife"

@charlottedabookworm / charlottedabookworm.tumblr.com

she/they, ace, angst dragon. responsible for half the regis/nyx fics on ao3. always in ffxv hell. now in ffxiv hell. prompts are open. don't give me caffeine. when will my inspiration come back from the plague? pfp by @/saltymonday

i know i’ve been spamming everyone with ffxiv posts recently so i’ve tagged them for easy convenience

everything generally ffxiv is still tagged ‘ffxiv’ but anything posted while i’m playing the game is and will also only be tagged with ‘char liveblogs ffxiv’

then anything vaguely spoilery is also tagged either ‘char reacts to arr’, ‘char reacts to heavensward’, or ‘char reacts to stormblood’ so that anyone who doesn’t want spoilers for specific things can block those tags if they want

so yeah, hope that helps

i’m also going to tag this post with all of them to make sure they’re the right tags lol

EDIT: about to start shadowbringers so there is now a ‘char reacts to shadowbringers’ tag that people should block if they don’t want spoilers

EDIT 2: stripped the ‘ffxiv’ from all posts also tagged ‘char liveblogs ffxiv’ because it honestly didn’t occur to me that they would be clogging up the main tag

EDIT 3: i plan on starting 5.1 msq content soon and anything from 5.1 to current content will also be tagged as ffxiv spoilers to be thorough (yes, 5.1 is old news but otherwise i’ll forget to start when i hit 5.5 so i’m starting there)

EDIT 4: endwalker prep is under the tag ‘char preps for endwalker’

EDIT 5: not sure how much screaming is gonna end up on here but. all endwalker spoilers will be tagged ‘char liveblogs ffxiv’, ‘ffxiv spoilers’, and ‘char reacts to endwalker. please block the ‘char reacts to endwalker’ tag at the very least to avoid any spoilers because i am playing in early access

i really like looking at google image searches for “firemen rescuing cats” or something because you get super cute pictures like

AND THEN THERE’S THIS ONE

“THAT’S RIGHT TWAS I that set the house ablaze!!!”

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Dying.

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Every fucking time I know what’s at the bottom and every time I still lose my shit.

I’m so happy this post is back again asdlkfjsa

HAPPY TEN YEARS TO “TWAS I THAT SET THE HOUSE ABLAZE”

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I kept the error message for posterity lol

So far this seems to mean "every tweet you scroll past counts as reading it" so it means that the entire thing is breaking down for you within minutes

Phony Stark literally strangling it to death

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Oh this'd do it

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The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild’s credits have almost exclusively Japanese people in them; but one name sticks out:

By searching around, people have found this forum post from 2007:

Follow your dreams.

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reblog if ur proud of corey

He got a promotion for Tears of the Kingdom!!

Source: twitter.com

My personal headcanon for Ash Ketchum has always been that regardless of if his dream ever came true he'd never truly stop traveling and learning. Because despite "becoming a pokemon master" being his goal if you actually sit down and watch like Any episode of Pokemon the thing that always holds true is his curiosity and desire to learn everything he possibly can related to pokemon. And he'll try anything to! He did contests and the battle frontier. He'd do those silly little shows with Serena if they'd let him.

So I like to imagine him continuing on in life as this nomad who people don't automatically recognize as anyone important ya know? Just this goofy guy going from place to place always lending a helping hand and hes got a cute lil pikachu on him. And hes often lost somewhere with a friend just exploring the woods to see if he'll find anything cool. Ya know, as hes always been, but older now. And its only once hes drifted once more do you maybe stumble into an article on the pokeweb about him and are like... that guy??

there’s a dedicated ashandpikachuspotter account somewhere on some social media. You tag a photo or search for a term and boom, there’s pics of this guy. this dude. this man. with his pikachu. and it’s thousands of strangers from across the globe coming on line to talk about some stranger that they met briefly and then never saw again. they’ve compiled their stories and their approximate locations and mapped his journey from continent to continent, a long snaking pathway that spans decades and thousands of miles. He’s apparently one of those Kanto kids that the government let just drop out of school. Its working out very well for him. 

Thats so funny, to imagine him as a pokeweb criptid type character a la the florida man

the one thing about him is he's also not gonna think he's famous or ever mention it himself

Broke: Acknowledging that a character who is an objectively terrible person is also a complex and intentionally well thought out individual with different levels of nuance you can empathize with in some ways while not in others is immediately “woobifying” or “poor little meow meowifying” them.

Woke: “This character is a bad person” and “this character is still a person” are two statements that can, should and do coexist and admitting that they exhibit nuance and depth and are more than just their bad actions doesn’t immediately excuse or condone their bad actions or mean that you’re ignoring or trying to soften the canonical version of the character.

Bespoke: That’s the whole point, that’s always been the point, to be made to empathize with horrible people so you can understand that they can be anyone, that bad people can be likeable, can be interesting, can be human, are human, and it’s scary to think about all the ways they’re just like you and all the ways they’re just like everything you hate, forcing the use of critical skills in media analysis, forcing a confrontation of the duality of man.

Whatever Level is Above Bespoke: But sometimes, yeah, sure, maybe they are a poor little meow meow, what are you gonna do, get a lawyer

...Not to get weird and dark on a useful/amuzing writing post, but...

Years and years ago, I read someone's experience of finding out that his mom's boyfriend was a serial killer. How much it sickened him to put together odd bits and pieces of their experiences together, recontextualizing them, suddenly understanding new and horrifying things.

But while that was awful, what really fucked him up later wasn't the clues he'd missed or anything-- it was that, one time, they'd been working together on some kind of home project, and he'd been on a ladder and suddenly gotten off balance-- and his mom's boyfriend had immediately reached out, yanked him back, both of them frightened and swearing and then gasping in the aftershocks of panic, and how grateful he'd been that the boyfriend had been there, how they'd both started laughing as the adrenaline washed through them and out again, hugging fiercely, how grateful he still was that the boyfriend had been there, because he owed his life to this man, this almost-father that had kept him safe and had been afraid for him, and the cognitive dissonance of that, the visceral disgust and the aching love and what it meant to be beholden to a monster for the gift of that moment--

And that's why we need to practice the little lies of fiction, where we can see that characters may not always be rendered in black and white-- it helps us learn how to live in a world that may serve us the worst people we may ever know doing us the greatest kindness of our lives.

I think the main problem with a lot of Morgan le Fay characterizations is that they focus too much on the angst and not enough on the Wile. E. Coyote-esque schemes

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Morgan: Even now, my servant, the Green Knight, goes to challenge my brother's men. But once they lop off his head, he'll just pick it up and walk out of the room! MWA-HA-HA!

Sebile: Weren't we trying to kill Guinevere?

Morgan: Yeah, and when she sees this, she'll die of a heart attack.

Sebile:

Sebile: Okay?

Reblogging with these absolutely gems that were hidden in the tags:

oh yeah have i ever told yall of the academic war i have been an unwilling soilder in for the past two years

okay SO. i have two professors that both teach this one subject, but different classes. they have different last names, so i didnt know this at first and espically since they are academic RIVELS at my school, but they are MARRIED. but for the past 8 years they have been in an academic WAR of geospatical sciences data. more accurately, the raster vs vector data debate. i am personally on the side of "both have their pros and cons and can be utalizied to the utmost efficency" but both professors are like, DEADLOCKED in insistanting one is better then the other

so, professor A is my mentor. i like him a lot, and he was the main person that taught me the most abotu Eris and ArcGIS. professor B is a professor i had one for class, and shes nice and knows a lot of little tricks about Eris programming but mostly relies on arcMAP because shes the raster data professor.

and THESE MOTHERFUCKERS. have written no less then 30 papers that is basically like a "re: re: re: re: re: re: vector data is better then raster fuck you" but like, Professionally. and they leave stupid notes in the footnotes that read "Reguardless of Professor A's opinions reguarding the efficency of Vector data, Raster data has a more efficant polygon computing rate and is the most commonly used program on interplantaring mapping" and its HILARIOUS

ive read all of their papers, and its basically like reading an email chain between a married couple arguing over the colors of the kitchen backsplash for their new home. its HILARIOUS. but obviously, because of their differnet last names and because they act like they HATE each other, NOT VERY MANY PEOPLE REALIZES THEYRE MARRIED

until like LAST WEEK

professor B publishes a paper that casually drops the word "husband"

and obviously all the students are like "oh i didnt know u were married!" because we read that shit like how white suburban mothers read People Magazine

and shes like "yeah, its Professor A"

and we all FLIPPED. THE FUCK. OUT

we thought the framed picture of the two of them on professor A's desk was ironic because hes that type of guy

like, you gotta undestand. these two have gotten into YELLING matches in hallways. these two refuse to go onto trips with each other. but apparently they have a system where they quite LITERALLY leave all of their work at work and drive home in seperate cars and literally NEVER mention work at home. it is SO funny

hey full offense but the ‘use the right pronouns even if the person is horrible!’ statements arent made to coddle horrible ppl, its saying ‘dont view correct pronouns as a fucking privilege that can be taken away once people decide you’ve fucked up enough’, misgendering someone on purpose is transphobic no matter what bc it equates transphobia as a ‘punishment’ for bad people, pronouns are a part of baseline human respect, its that simple