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croaker

@charledcorn

Croakin 🏳️‍⚧️
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"I want," the man said to the art robot, and then described an image in some detail. "Certainly," said the art robot. A printout came out of its chest. "Thank y- Hey! What's this?" "A list of artists who make images of the kind you describe, and who are accepting commissions."

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This is a horror story to a techbro and a feel-good comedy to anyone with a sense of human decency.

You’re not a real gamer unless you’ve wasted countless hours of your life purposefully walking in the wrong direction to make sure you’re not missing any content

I’ll stop doing when they stop putting chests full of mid-tier armor in the opposite direction of the clearly marked endgoal

That feeling of “oh crap I triggered the plot I wasn’t done fucking around yet”

“Dammit, I thought this was the wrong way and now the plot’s progressing.

Whenever you find yourself in a situation of difficulty that makes you feel foolish and stupid, like if you lose your phone charger or forget an important appointment, or entirely forget when the War of 1812 took place, or beat meringue a little too far past the point of forming stiff peaks, or spill a glass of water in your lap in the precise way so as to make it appear like you peed your pants right as your crush is about to walk past, just think to yourself:

"At least I have the presence of mind not to think that carrots have too much sugar."

I think it's important context that this comment was on a recipe for carrot cake. They replaced the carrots in a carrot cake with kale, because carrots have too much sugar, for a carrot cake, a dessert in which carrots provide the primary structure and flavor. Carrot. Cake.

The primary function carrots serve in this sort of recipe, I feel compelled to mention, is to substitute sugar. That’s what the carrots do in carrot cake, yes they do provide lots of structure for the cake to be solid they way eggs or other ingredients would usually, but like, the reason carrot cake and other vegetable based cakes like it were invented was to replace the (at the time extremely expensive) sugar. You literally took the one thing that justifies the existence of carrot cake and got rid of it

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was originally gonna go with "dog" but decided to go for a longer word with more "reasonable" mispronunciations instead, but that ended up backfiring and now like half the people on this post think i actually pronounce it like this. guess you could say it was a bit of a. a b. it was a

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it was a bit of a self-own

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READING COMPREHENSION QUESTIONS

  1. why might op have said that she wanted to choose a word with "more 'reasonable' mispronounciations"? what could the quotes around "reasonable" indicate? why did she say mispronunciations instead of pronounciations?
  2. op writes that the post "backfired" and now "half the people on this post think i actually pronounce it like this." what might the word "backfired" mean in this context?
  3. what words could "self-own" sound similar to, and how could that relate to the rest of the post?

never mind

I should make another comic about blocking people for being even mildly annoying and how good that is for your mental health.

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Yeah. That’s the way to go through life… segregating yourself from anyone, any idea that you react towards emotionally. 

“Practice intolerance of others, every day, to prove how bad they are.”

Congratulations on being mildly annoying and also blocked.

Btw you can be intensely critical of the Democratic party and recognize that it is full of aged out of touch moderates who are refusing to meet the urgency of the moment,

and also recognize that voting for Democrats is extremely important because it allows things like the confirmation of Justices and prevents the literal fascist party from gaining more power and that harm reduction is an important end in itself

These things can coexist

Politics is a long game. Being disappointed and angry today does not obviate your responsibility to participate

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Just seen a bathroom sign that says "Femmes". Unsure if this is woke or not.

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Update: the mens room says Hommes. This seafood restaurant is safe from the "woke mob" but not from the dastardly Frenchman

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

An actual World Heritage Post

how does this post not have a million notes but anyone online can quote it

one week until ten years of Spiders Georg

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objectively I know my macbook is a pain but practically speaking its devilish magic is working on me.  “pain in the butt to switch, I’ve gotten used to it, I’d miss iMovie, inexplicable emotional attachment,” etc.

I just learned yesterday that Pikachu, my favorite Pokemon, was originally designed not by Ken Sugimori (he only finalized the design), but by a female graphic designer named Atsuko Nishida. 

Image

Also after googling her, I found out that she’s also designed Sylveon–another favorite PKMN of mine. She’s also illustrated some very pretty Pokemon cards!!

Thank you Ms. Nishida! :-) May you get more credit and love for your contribution to the Pokemon franchise.

as a camera shy person myself, knowing she hides behind plushies is just amazing

Her and Yoko Taro are legends at hiding from cameras. xD 

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Here’s some other Pokemon she’s designed, for anyone curious:

source: x

and not to derail this post into anything overtly political, but: If it weren’t for a woman in the gaming industry, we wouldn’t have freakin’ Charizard. I feel like that’s something more people should know about!

btw the term "women's health" to discuss uterine care/menstruation isnt just transphobic, it also keeps up this aggravating idea that the uterus & menstruation are obscene and impolite and need to be kept hidden under flowery vague terms as to not offend any cis men. like trans people demanding the end of gendered language around this stuff aren't just helping trans people, its also just good to normalize calling tampons and pads "menstrual supplies" because thats what they fucking are!!! we should say the words uterus vagina menstruation and we should do it in public and in stores instead of talking about ~women's needs~ and ~feminine care~. trans liberation is fundamental to women's liberation and anti-patriarchal action in general. listening to trans men & people isn't bad for women its good for literally everyone

as much as it physically pains me to admit jared leto is the one man I trust to understand a met gala assignment

(for context he dressed as karl lagerfeld’s cat)