people change you and sometimes that is the worst thing in the entire world because you used to like yourself a little more but now you hate the flinch that lives in your shoulderblades and you overthink every moment and you never set a boundary without feeling internally destroyed and it fucking sucks because they shouldn't get to do that, they already ruined your life the once, it shouldn't echo into the future

but also people change you and sometimes that is the softest morning and the best surprise. realizing that you can divide things into perfect thirds without trying because you were a sibling in a group of 3 and always needed to measure out things. you learned to skip rope and step around cracks from the kid down the street. you love the way your favorite english teacher influenced your writing.

you're old enough these days to know your mother was right and you should take a coat just in case it gets cold but you are still too young to have outrun the thunderstorm of your childhood. you arrange your spoons the way you learned growing up but you've since reorganized the rest of your kitchen to make sense to you and the way that you like working. you fold your clothes actually still based on the marie kondo method (you just like the habit of it) but you allow yourself to just-loosely-chuck-some-of-it-in because really who has the fuckin' time for it.

you still can't be in the room while people look at your art (some kind of weird mix of guilt, shame, and embarrassment) but you picked up certain words and phrases from friends that help you slow down and treat yourself a little bit gentle with it. you always take other people's crafts with a reverence like praying, but you can't help that when you see your own work from a few years ago, you mirror someone else's snort of disdain. you saw other people's bodies and freckles and stretch marks and scars and you realized they are all still fucking beautiful to you, almost obscenely so, because they belong to someone you care for so deeply that it blocks out the sun - but you can't help the little flash of self-judgement whenever you pass a mirror; the voice from too-many years of 90's and 00's skinny-means-you've-won.

and it's kind of funny because you meet someone new and while they're making friends with you, you get to see these little stories playing out of them. you meet your mom and you think oh that's where they get the accent and you meet their college roommate and you think that's the same joke you both make and you meet their friend and you think ah so this is explains the oddly vast knowledge of freshwater lakes

and then one day in the mirror you reach your hand up to push back your hair and you think - oh shit, that was them. or you make a comment and you think ah, stole that from someone else. or you stand in the store and get that random flash of they would totally tell me to buy this. and it is like a little strange river to bind you to them - that over all this time and space, their hands guide your hands and your heart in silence. it is good and it is bad and is so precious and so horrible. it is both proof of love on this earth and it is also the thing that is keeping you hurt.

a little promise that is probably true: somewhere out there, your hands are ever-so-often guiding them too.

whenever a mutual changes their url itll take me about 2 months to get used to it. if they change it more than once in that time then well im completely fucked. who is that. who am i. who is ANYONE. nothing and nobody can be trusted anymore

slasher horror: you better not have premarital sex or gerald "the stabber" douglas is gonna getcha

creepypasta: once there was a teen named alex and he was bullied so hard that he and the acid disfigured him so and he started killing everyone so they call him george the attacker

/x/: there was the skinwalker who stole my best friend's voice and then man door hand hook car door

r/nosleep: my wife was hungry for raw meat and then she gave birth to The Satan. he looked me in the eyes and said "don't go outside past midnight or else the eyeless ones might notice." but it turns out i never had a wife or son and the world ended 5 years ago on this very night.

r/twosentencehorror: i ran out of bloodmilk for my cereal. luckily, the creature provides.

mascot horror: this is silly wiggles, the candy giraffe! explore the silly wiggles candy emporium after dark! the secret ingredient is Love™! also the hidden video tapes will reveal that "Love™" is actually the copyright name for the consciousness of tortured children, mixed with the ground organs of factory workers.

indie horror: i can't describe this, there are only 7 pixels so idk what's going on

also get peer reviewed. (via @rootbeerfloats)

I think in response to Twitter, Tumblr should make it so that you can't open any other apps on your phone until you've seen at least 600 posts for the day.

For Disability Pride Month this is your reminder to include all Mental Illnesses in your advocacy.

That means BPD, NPD, HPD, ASPD, and other Personality Disorders.

That means DID, PDID, UDD, & OSDD.

That means Schizophrenia and other Psychotic Disorders.

I love you!

tumblr glitch that hath rended my dash asunder:

free shitpost generator??? why isn’t this an official browsing mode. anyway here are my fav screen grabs, all hits no misses:

pure poetry. it’s like trying to tune into a specific radio station but you have giant lobster claws instead of hands

wow my blog is officially cursed, we love to see it

Cher and The Jackson 5, 1975

I'm giving the person who reblogged this head scritches.

Deity who's unacquainted with concept of evolution creating a world with, like, twelve different kinds of creatures, thinking "yes, that's a good number – nice and symmetrical", then going on vacation for a couple million years and being very upset at what's waiting for them when they get back.

#they keep throwing extinction events at the world in an effort to get a clean slate and start over #life just keeps getting weirder in response #they're practically at their wits' end #and that's a lot of wits to be at the end of

#one day something sentient goes 'do you fucking MIND'#and the deity goes 'YOU CAN TALK?' via @titan-mom​

you’re hearing it more and more

Spotify Premium ad: “Imagine playing music without interruptions! Infinite skipping! Replay the song you want! And even do it offline? No ads! Whatever songs you want! For a small monthly payme-” Me: *nods, turns off Spotify and turns on my MP3 player and does all the things they offer, but for free and with songs they don’t even have*

For those of you who might not know how to do any of this:

You don’t need to be tethered to an online streaming service for your music. Be free.

You can also rip audio files from youtube and find files all over the internet. It is far easier to come across great and lesser known music if you dont limit yourself to spotify.

Here’s a tutorial on how to get the music and playlists you like with unlimited listening/downloads. This is a free way to do it that I believe is a balance between cost, time, and pros & cons:

1. Find the song on Youtube. YT has pretty much every song at this point, usually in comparable quality to what you would get on a streaming service.

2. Download the audio from YT. There are many ways to download YT videos completely for free. It’s probably against the YT terms of service, but you’re not going to get sued.

3. Upload to your music player/manager of choice. The file will currently be lacking metadata (Artist, Album, track number, etc) and will be added to the library as a song with its title set as the file name minus its .mp3 extension. Various music players/managers have different ways to add metadata (usually accessed by right-clicking the song) with varying ease.

4. Now you can use the player of your choice to listen endlessly, form playlists, etc. Some free music managers also have music discovery/recommendation features for expanding your collection.

There are many music managers/players, including cross-platform ones with streaming, though they usually have fees for that feature. Because you aren’t streaming the music and rather storing it, you’ll need space on each device you want to play the music on, but memory is cheap these days.

I do encourage people to pay for art, especially from small, independent artists. You have to pay for art if you want to keep it alive, but there is debate over if streaming services are really “paying the artist”. Alternatives include buying and ripping CDs, purchasing merch or tour tickets (where artists make a lot of their money), etc to support them with something other than streaming views.

ID. a tweet from Don Hughes @/getfiscal dated Feb 18 21. it reads, “Started imagining paying for Spotify for the next thirty or so years and got a bit dizzy, cancelled a bunch of subscriptions, installed Linux on my computer and then pulled out my old CDs to rip. Going caveman.” End ID.

Seconding MusicBee! Also, you can use a library subscription to access Freegal, which allows (depending on your library system) up to five free downloads a week. Completely free, actually legal, yours to keep, no DRM or any crap like that.

For indie producers, always check if they have something like Bandcamp! Bandcamp lets you download as well, and has significantly higher royalties going to the actual artists (Spotify pays them… very little).

Jsyk, winamp rips cds natively.  You can set whatever bitrate you like.  Been doing *that* since last century. 

It’s that time again:

i personally enjoy spotify premium because i like discovering A LOT of new music and i find it’s very easy to do that on spotify

but, if you don’t need that? follow this advice, be free

reblog if you fully and intentionally are referring to aspec people as well when you use the word queer to refer to the community

my partner once said, "if you have to explain your sexuality to straight people, you're probably queer"

damn did you know if you don’t have a mailing address the post office had a “general delivery” service where you get your stuff shipped to a participating post office and they hold it there for you for up to two weeks

this is such a useful thing for people who are unhoused or moving or on a road trip or in an unsafe home situation. I’m a little shocked I’ve never heard of it before now.

I’ve never used it but I planned to if I had to travel through a state that just takes your cash through civilian forfeiture and makes you prove it’s yours.

Wait. What?

handing out flyers to transmascs about estradiol cream (can be used to keep your pussy wet and healthy but without triggering periods or having any feminizing effects) and transfemmes about Cialis (works even post-orchi)

and then telling both to start prep too

Estrogen also comes in ring and suppository tablet format if you can’t deal with ooze. Atrophy in the area can also do things like make you more prone to UTIs, so if things in the area are getting generally out of whack, you don’t have to just keep suffering.

Editing to add (because a friend pointed out the phrasing is exclusionary): people on estrogen/testosterone, not just transfem/transmasc

idk what traumatized or mentally ill person needs to hear this but dreams (especially the really disturbing ones you dont want to talk about to anybody) arent some deep peek into your psyche or a sign of your True Desires or whatever theyre quite literally your brain making fruit salad with whatever it can find on the shelf. just putting all that shit in a blender and hitting obliterate. its fine, youre fine, youre not a weirdo for it

I’ve never ONCE seen one of these and not being just like…absolutely riddled with tension, so. Keep passing them around, I guess!

When you see it, REBLOG IT.

Melanated Female Inventors. Ten inventions that happened because of Black Women.

if we lived in a world where u had to do the career u were first interested in as a child what would u be doing, id be a firefighter

Not to sound obnoxiously optimistic but I don't believe people when they say they don't have any talents. I feel like everyone does but many people are conditioned to think of themselves as less than if it's not a traditional talent like art or singing or sports or something. A talent can be literally anything and if you're reading this I'm sure you have one