Whoops I lost my gender

au where the one “person” who stumbles out of the fade alive at the conclave is really just an envy demon doing their best. this makes no sense but consider: it would be really funny

varric: what IS that accent? it’s not fereldan that’s for sure. is it free marches? don’t tell me it’s free marches. markham? ostwick? am i hot or cold?

envy demon who has figured out maybe two sentences so far: i don’t remember

varric: damn you’re good! sticking to your line, i see how it is. i’ll figure it out

envy demon internally: i have succeeded in my goal. i will continue my NEFARIOUS SCHEME by sealing the breach and keeping all these mortals safe and sound so that their world is MINE ALONE to explore. i am getting a GOOD GRADE in being a demon, something that is NORMAL to want and POSSIBLE to achieve—ouch. what was that

varric: seeker your uh alleged mass murderer was too busy beaming at a compliment and looking around wide-eyed at scenery. and tripped over a log.

cassandra: [head in hands] i know. i cant protect them

envy demon internally: i have FOOLED THEM ALL. i really like BIRDSONG

how do you guys feel about my lock screen

OP do you take constructive criticism?

there is nothing to criticize here

Who the hell organize apps by color

Mind your business

"the writer's strike could stop the MCU from making new movies for months!" fuck dont dirtytalk me like that. it's only 9:34 am

today's joker is doomed by the narrative

🌿the muses🌿

soft akeshuake doodle page

people always praise taylor swift like "ough she wrote an album that told a story shes so original and brave and talented" ok well sure she wrote a concept album about women being sad. you know what else is a concept album? janelle monáe's five-suite metropolis saga spanning 3 albums telling the story of her time-travelling android alter ego, cindi mayweather, who is slated to be dissasembled after committing the forbidden act of falling in love with a human and, while on the run, learns that shes destined to be the savior that liberates all androids through social justice and funky tunes. why dont you listen to that?

Super cute drawing of some girls in space by Rumiko Takahashi!

Sadly you can see bits of the stuff on the back peak through since I can't exactly put something between 2 sides of the same page to accentuate it 😭

Roomates.

What's weird is I'm usually a horribly awkward person in 1to1 conversations, buthe moment I get any sort of stage or crowd attention I'm in my element. And then the moment I get off the stage I sit in a room and read for 16 hours.

Town Crier Behaivor

You hate me for my news of the goings on in the neighboring dutchies and dales.

everyone loves asian people until they’re human beings

i feel like elaborating on this. people can only ever really imagine asians (and honestly most poc but since i’m asian this is what i feel comfortable with) as objects - specifically objects of desire. you’re an anime character, or a yaoi bishounen, or a kpop idol, or a label on some food, or a porn category, or, or, or. no matter what, you are something to be consumed. this also coincides really neatly with the perception of asia as a monolith - an asian (be they thai or tibetan or korean) is only that: asian. little thought is paid to culture or nationality or ethnicity (because surprise! asian countries have several ethnicities within their borders!). and again asians are interchangeable. you’ve heard the joke that all asians look alike, right? seen how people compare every asian person they see to their bias?

everyone fucking loves asians until it’s time to think about them as individuals, as separate groups, as actual people. the instant we go from fantasy to reality we lose out glitz and people turn their heads and look away. this gets to the point where even realistic portrayals of asian people are warped back into that little box for the purpose of selling to mass market - see peni parker! it... idk it sucks 💖 please examine the way you think about asians and asia

hi op! i hope you don’t mind me adding on, but this also factors into how little south asians are even considered in media. we don’t fit the neat little stereotype for what asian should be or look like. we can’t be anime characters or k-pop idols, so we don’t matter.

One of my roommates cannot stand the way I play minecraft

Instead of looking for diamonds, fighting mobs, trying to go to the nether, doing potions/enchantments/whatever, I like to build these 1-block-wide platforms far above the ground that i walk on to explore without getting lost, attacked or generally inconvenienced. And they hate it

“If you don’t want to get lost just use a compass!” Takes redstone. Also I don’t want to. And on the ground there’s mobs

“Fight the mobs, they’re part of the game!” no. I get scared

“Just use mine carts!” And use all that iron?

“Then use boats and ice!” You need enchantments to collect ice. All my paths take is dirt and ladders (and torches)

“But they’re so UGLY!” Not the point

my paths

Minecraft is a game about using your crafting abilities to explore and build.

They hate that you play the game better than they do.

The big discourse on twitter right now is that writers going on strike or cancelling their own series are breaking an invisible “contract” they made with their fans and all creators owe their fans a satisfying conclusion to their stories. Actually if a creator says “I don’t want to perform this labor anymore,” then regardless of the cliffhanger that leaves you with, your only response should be “take care! Thank you for all your hard work!!!” :)

One person was real mad that George R.R. Martin wasn’t working more on the series she wanted and when I said she’s not entitled to demand exactly how an author spends their remaining time on earth she called me a bootlicker “because he works for HBO” so apparently laborers and their employers are also just the same entities (*note that grrm supports the writer’s strike)

i think rickrolling is the only meme that gets objectively funnier with age. in 2009 you learned to anticipate it but in 2019 it happens just infreqently enough that i fall for it every single time

like people still make rage comics and doge jokes and shit but it’s always ironic (the real punchline is that you’re using an outdated format) or more in line with modern absurd internet humor. rickrolling is the only meme i can think of that’s been the exact same for a full decade- click on a link thinking you’re getting something else, get rick astley instead, and it’s still consistently funny

the more time passes the more foolish you feel for falling for a rickroll as well. Like darn I learnt about this prank 10+ years ago how did I just fall for it now,

Plus, as far as memes go, turns out it’s still incredibly popular 

Nooope. Nope, you can’t get me. I’m not clicking on that link and you can’t make me.

I am a fool for clicking

it’s honestly so, so fascinating—here’s a graph I found that estimates how many people have been rickrolled in the past decade!

Not today, Trickster Man

casts spell of turn akechi into a milf

I think my favorite bit i do with customers is when white women are like ‘i dont know what to getttttt’ and i hit them with the ‘you should be bad~ 😈’

Saying ‘you should be bad!!’ In like Gay Voice to a white woman at starbucks has like the same psychological impact as going like ‘who’s a good boy?’ To a dog. It makes them so excited in a really endearing way.

100% my favourite part of the d&d movie was that holga had pit hair. i zoomed the fuck in on that. YES your female barbarian has armpit hair YES she does YES you fucking get it, yes this makes her a million times hotter. good fucking lord

visual for those who missed it or need something to inspire them to watch this movie

[excessive citations]

shout out to my favorite psych professor in college who was about two months from retirement when she dropped that truth bomb on us my theological position is since cranking your hog is not forbidden, but coveting someone's wife is, hentai is holy

This collab was not on my 2023 bingo card

(source)

time loop that’s set to end when you’ve completely fucked your life up in a blaze of hedonistic glory under the assumption that it’ll all just reset at the end of the day

time loop with an arbitrary end condition that’s supposed to only be achievable by learning a lesson and growing as a person, but you keep escaping after like four to seven loops without changing or improving anything but your ability to do weird shit that the wizard didn’t anticipate

#timeloop but instead of finding the victory condition you spend your infinite time learning wizardry and then break out of the lop by force (via @nadja-855)

time loop where you trap the wizard in a time loop instead