I don't understand why are you here

We gotchu fam. Have some bearotonin

bearotonin-international is good serotonin

Friend, buddy, mate. It’s called bearotonin

"biblical angels" you do realise there are angels in the old testament that are literally just regular looking guys, right? you do know that the hallucinogenic incoherent descriptions are in like. two books. and the rest of the time angels are just guys. you know that, right?

and I'm not saying don't have fun with weird angels. I'm saying, either the eldritch forms are for special occasions, or the society of the angels is Many-Eyed-Many-Winged-Interlocking-Circles, Four-Faces-Six-Wings, and Mike.

Literally Raphael is just a normal person!

this is what the heavenly breakroom is like

Oh no now I love the water cooler angel

There’s a regular at the fabric superstore. She’s at least 80 years old, and she just got back into sewing after giving it up for 40 years. We’ll call her Irma.

I love Irma.

Irma is constantly surprised by the newfangled sewing gadgets our store sells. Today she bought some extra-fine glass-head pins and a magnetic pincushion. As I’m ringing her purchases up, she tells me very seriously, “did you know, if you’re careful, you can sew RIGHT OVER those pins? You don’t need to take them out!”

I told her that I liked that you can’t accidentally melt the head of the glass pins with your iron, and she nodded. “They used to all be like that, but times changed.”

I love old sewing machines and asked what kind of machine she has, and she goes, “Oh, it’s an old Singer Featherweight that my husband bought me when we were first married. It’s probably not worth anything anymore, but the thing sews fine. Have you seen the ones those girls over there–” indicating the sewing machine sub-store in my location “–have? Those things go in every direction and the needle always comes to the top when you stop sewing! Imagine how handy that is!”

I mention that I used to sew on my grandmother’s Featherweight but now there’s a intra-family war about who owns Grandma’s Featherweight and so no one gets to use it. It’s genuinely the best portable straight-stitch machine I’ve ever used.

I warn her to never let anyone tell her that Featherweight isn’t worth something. “I know, I miss my husband and it’s always going to have a place in my heart, just like your grandma’s.”

“I mean, Irma, there’s that, but they’re also worth a really notable amount of money. The Singer Featherweight is really financially valuable. I almost never see them for sale around here for less than about $400, and that’s in bad condition.”

“It’s a good thing my husband’s dead, honey, because if you told him that he managed to buy a sewing machine that’s worth more in 2021 than he bought it for in 1950, well, he’d be so smug that I just wouldn’t be able to tolerate driving home with him.”

you gotta include this photo

ağlıycam

This is it. The internet has come full circle. You can all go home now. We’re done.

The pale court’s crimson knight

Roomba kept crying because she couldn't find her spring toy and uh. Well, she had a good reason for it.

She's blind, she makes a lot of different sounds, and her poor social skills mean she tries to groom any other cat she bumps into. She doesn't bump into furniture or walls anymore but she used to. Whenever she bumped into something, she'd just turn around and keep going.

a car goes full speed off a cliff and explodes at the bottom and when the smoke clears it's actually just perfectly parallel parked

a second car somewhere in the world perfectly parallel parks and when you think the car is finally aligned it spontaneously combusts and explodes

the law of equivalent exchange

Rereading All Systems Red, I noticed the part at the end when Mensah is talking about Preservation, she brings up educational opportunities as something it can do. And I'm just like, was she planning on sending Murderbot to COLLEGE?

So I immediately amused myself by imagining an crack AU where it didn't leave, and ended up going to college, but like, in a stereotypical non-futurey, sitcom-like "college experience" kind of way. With a roommate and everything. And the image was so amusing to me that I had to share.

Like,

MB's roommate: yeah, my roommate is kind of weird. It doesn't eat and just watches TV all night. (Cut to the roommate waking up in the middle of the night and getting something out of the mini fridge, they turn around and jump, because Murderbot is just sitting up on its bed, eyes open and staring at nothing as it watches media.) But it's great because it makes going to parties feel much safer. (Cut to Murderbot, going full Threat Assessment at a stereotypical frat party. A guy is harassing one of its friends and it throws him out the window.) Although, I thought when I got someone with that much processing power as a roommate, they might be able to tutor me, but it turns out it's the other way around. (Cut to Roommate and Murderbot studying at their desks. "What do you mean you deleted the recording you made of the lecture?" "There was a new serial I wanted to watch!")

Additionally: the professor taking roll call, reaches "SecUnit" on the page, frowns as he scans the class and yells out. "Mx SecUnit, how many times do I have to tell you? If you just send your drone to class, you will be marked absent. You need to actually come to class so you can participate in class discussions!"

I find this very dumb and amusing. It is up to you to imagine if it is in full armor or not.

tag where you're from if you want

cottagecore au where nobody dies, and no one was crying (for sure)!

previous

companies underestimate how much locking their content behind needing an account will just make me go do something else. oh your website wants me to make an account to view this content? oh your website doesn't show media to logged-out users? okay. i didn't actually want to see it that bad. yeah. bye ✌️

i read the hobbit in 3rd grade and i thought it was really lame. however i liked bilbo baggins for some reason and i was fully convinced he was some sort of rabbit/mouse thing until i saw the lotr movies and was really, really confused

every gym leader is like “I lost!?! UNBELIEVABLE!” buddy you live in a world where every ten year old child has always been offered a free fire breathing monster at least once and you brought nothing to this fight but anthropomorphic flowers

gym leaders’ whole job is to provide a specific challenge, a battle of a certain type and difficulty level. if you’ve brought the tools and skills to complete that challenge, you’re going to win by design. the pokémon in that battle are probably not actually the strongest pokemon they have.

when gym leaders go “argh, how could i lose??” they’re acting to give your victory legitimacy because you’re 10. they’re like a villain cosplayer letting a baby knock them over. they’re being nice!!

I don’t think I’ve seen a single reverse-transmigration SVSSS fics utilize how absolutely weak Luo Binghe would be to scam emails.

A lost prince needs his help and will richly reward him if he cashes this check & wires the money to him? Absolutely plausible, lost heirs are practically popping out of the woodwork in PIDW, and rewarding someone a hundredfold is just commons sense to LBG.

Beautiful women want to talk now? Obviously, beautiful women are constantly coming up to LBG!

He’s today’s lucky 10,000,000th visitor and wins thousands of dollars? He always wins!

Scammers thinking they got a live one but Binghe doesn’t have a bank account and they try to explain the concept of a wire to him with increasing desperation.

what if they were girls. what if they had breasts (important to me)

i’d like you to know that this was shared in my besties group chat earlier and just now i heard my partner muttering ‘have you tried carbs...’ to himself while hanging up the washing xD

Been obsessed with stardew valley lately

GODS I DID NOT EXPECT TO HEAR HIM SPEAK