How I feel
Reporter: Tell us Bruce, why have you recently decided to work out more? To you just want to compete with our Clark? Or is it-
Bruce: My kids.
Reporter: I’m sorry what?
Bruce: I work out so I can still lift them.
Reporter: …
Bruce: if you have nothing else to ask I’m going to leave now. Let’s go Jaylad.
Bruce just picks up Jason and leaves.
Jason looks like a large dog that clearly isn’t used to being in the air.
Like this.
Robin: *does a Quadruple Summer Sault*
Baby stalker Tim Drake: Richard you have girlbossed a little too close to the sun
First fanart for the Batfam fandom, and the Batfam tag is the gift that gives on giving
I haven't seen dancing pumpkin guy ONCE this year, are you guys okay?
FINE! I'll do it myself
Why did 12 people reblog this today??? IT IS ONLY AUGUST!!!
In the middle of a Justice League meeting, Batman feels a tug on his cape. He looks down to see a little boy who could easily pass as one of his.
"Erm," the boy starts. "I frew up."
Are you the REAL dennys
why? what have you heard? WHO HAVE YOU BEEN TALKING TO?!
i have seen this post on my dash 7 times now and every time i think more loudly, 'this is what Batman villain The Penguin's dialogue sounds like when they let him be fun to watch.'
Why the fuck are chickens in this image??? I raise them, and let me tell you, they will fly to the top of a tree and scream at you. There is no escaping the screams of chickens should you spook them.
Also it takes a while for them to get going but i've had to throw brooms and shovels n shit at chickens because they refused to get out of a tree.
[Image ID: A picture of a bee and a wasp, both labeled. Both are colored yellow and black. Facts are listed about each one in their respective columns.
Bee:
- Cute and fuzzy, like a friend
- Make honey
- Come in pretty colors with different occupations (blue orchard bee, carpenter bee)
- Pollinators!
- Freeloaders who will come build hives in the walls of your house
- Communicate with dancing
- According to all known laws of aviatin, honey bees can fly up to 15 mph
- Like sweet things
- Over 20,000 species--not just honeybees!
Wasp:
- Cool and sleek, like a motorcycle
- Prey on pests
- Come in pretty, iridescent colors (ruby tailed wasp)
- Will try to mooch off your drinks (so check your cans!)
- Pollinators!
- Leave you paper nests that you can sell to collectors
- Communicate with smells
- Like sweet things
- Over 30,000 species--not just [kind I hate]
At the very bottom, in smaller text, is the URL bug-maniac.tumblr.com. /End ID]
NO ANTI-WASP SENTIMENTS ON THIS POST
Seven years after, I see you again 😚
Guys this completely changed my writing, heed it. I often do an entire draft just looking at sentence variation and oftentimes the results are absolutely transformative in the difference.
This is very very good advice, and absolutely worth following. Read this. Read it again. Follow it. Your writing will get much, much better.
cat riding sheep
lookin at the first few moments thinkin “what’s wrong with that foreleg? is it folded under the cat at a funny angle? is the cat missing half that leg? wait. no. it’s just buried up to the elbow in wool”
Fun fact. Lanolin, the oil in wool which makes it water resistant, has a scent similar to one produced by nursing mother cats which induces nursing behaviour in kittens. A lot of cats will exhibit this behaviour with wool blankets for the same reason.
The adorable behavior she is showing at the end, deep treading and pressing the flat.of her head against the sheep, rooting her nose around in the sheep’s wool, ears turned sweetly back, is STRONG kitten nursing behavior. This cat is a full adult and doing unusually Baby things. I’d say that checks out. She’s treating the sheep like Mom. Adults, even those with residual nursing behaviors, don’t often go THIS baby. I wouldn’t be surprised if the cat were actually suckling. She’s incredibly happy.
The sheep seems to be very much enjoying it as well. I loooove this.
I realize it’s just because they’re trying to introduce the audience to the concept of Pokemon and everything but nothing will ever be funnier to me than prof oak being like “these are creatures called Pokemon, they live in all sorts of environments!” like imagine if you met a biology professor and they were like ‘I’ve been studying these intriguing creatures called “animals’
I maintain that Pokemon starts to make a lot more sense when you stop thinking of the Professors as biologists and start thinking of them as children’s science communicators, which, in a world where children as young as 10 are expected to make their way in a world populated by superpowered fauna almost entirely alone, stands as an important and laudable career. “There are 150 animals” becomes the in-universe equivalent of “There are three states of matter.” There’s too much information in this field to dump on a grade-schooler all at once, so Professor Oak is here to mete out animal facts as they become relevant in an easy-to-understand way.
That being said, I would love to see what kind of shit the real Pokemon biologists are on. I’m just imagining some disheveled, overcaffienated researcher writing a grant proposal for their study on why certain wingull seem to evolve into pelipper faster when they hatched in the winter or something. There’s bird shit on their glasses. They haven’t left the lighthouse in months. This is their life’s work. Ash Ketchum doesn’t need to know about real Pokémon biology.
Tumblr Code.
If I ever see any of you in public, the code is “i fill my ass with orange juice”
that way we know we’re from tumblr without revealing anything
I’m just going to say this to strangers until i find a tumblr person
must keep reblogering!! Im going to be so suspicious if any one tells me this now!
Remember the answer is: ”17 cocks”
always reblog tumblr identification
amlsh
this post makes me want to gouge my eyes out
informercials
im laughins so hard who changed it
final-girl-cas
WHO TF EDITED THE SHOELACE POST
final-girl-cas
No seriously the edit function has been gone for years who did this
second-order-simulacra
i love pitting classically trained magic users against self-taught magic users in sci-fi/fantasy but it shouldn’t be snobbish disdain for them it should be terror
“WHO TAUGHT YOU LIGHTNING BEFORE BASIC TELEKINESIS. LOSING MY MIND WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU JUST DID IT. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAST WITH YOUR BARE HANDS”
WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT YOU’VE ‘HACKED’ MANA DRAIN
WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘DRINK SOME JUICE’
WHAT IS ‘LOW BLOOD SUGAR’
WHY IS THIS WORKING
I HATE YOU SO MUCH
Okay but other direction can ALSO be a lot of fun
“What do you mean I don’t have to burn half my blood to create a fireball?”
“Why can you teleport more than once without vomiting? WTF is ‘quantum displacement awareness’???”
“You know HOW many spells? HOW? ... What do you mean ‘my spell book’?”
“Ooooh, you’re just summoning water portions from the Plane of Water... Lol I thought I HAD to combine hydrogen and oxygen molecules to generate water in small amounts. That’s so much easier then what I was doing!”
Tags via @mia7437
Allow me to elucidate, @a-sour-nectarine
When most people "roll their eyes", they flick their eyes directly upward, usually as far as they comfortably go, then resume looking normally.
When someone who learned the phrase before the behavior does it, they usually go in a circular (ish) motion. Since most eye movements are lines, it's usually pretty triangular: the key points are usually a diagonal up one way, then to the far other side, then to a diagonal low the first way. Thus, the eyes basically make a loop, so they "rolled".
I've found that when people who learned the up-down way first try the circular motion, they might risk motion sickness, so experiment carefully.
oh thank god there’s a happy ending on Twitter i was actually about to lose it
Masterpost
I think I did enough writing on tumblr that this should be validated :D
Ghost Kid in Ghotam
AO3 Link: To be Created...
10. ...
The Ghost King is my Uncle Drabbles
Sort of completed Postslist:
AO3 Link: DPxDC Family Week Contributions
I will reblog this every time i see it because it is simply a phenomenal piece of art
It's always "when are you planning on getting your horns shortened" and "you're so brave for keeping your horns" and not "your horns are so large and pristine. I bet the ladies love you"
me playing silent hill 4