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yee (and i can not stress this enough) haw

@cerolinda

✨ Carol | 🇧🇷 | ♌ ☀️/♎ 🌙 | she/her ✨ ✨ shitty blog with no theme✨ ✨ almost everything is queued✨ ✨ talk to me about the PISSVERSE✨ ✨ mobile app only 😬✨
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Top 5 pathetic Anders moments?

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Okay I started compiling my list so I could narrow it down to 5 but I came up with 16 so I’m going to cheat and just post my list as is in no particular order

  • Earnestly trying to get Fenris to bond with him over suicide ideation
  • Every time you make the most milquetoast pro mage statement and he looks at you like 🥹 with wonderment and love in his eyes
  • If you say you don’t want him to move into your house after sleeping together once and he starts acting like an 18th century lady who just had her virtue stolen by a charlatan who had promised to marry her
  • Asking to move into your house immediately after you sleep together once
  • Instantly falling for the first person to be nice to him mere hours after being forced to kill his ex boyfriend
  • Getting mad when Fenris won’t say he could be trusted outside of the circle and vowing to prove it to him
  • Ok the first time I played DA2 I was being dumb and accidentally chose the options that didn’t save Ella (which high key was so shocking and stakes raising it’s actually my recommendation for your first experience playing DA2) but I went over to Anders after that quest SOOOOO mad at him and he was so incredibly pathetic in the scene where he’s freaking out and trying to leave Kirkwall that I spent the whole time telling him it wasn’t really his fault instead of chewing him out like I intended
  • That act 3 dialogue where he tries to convince aveline that her husband is scheming against the Templars behind her back. I guess not pathetic if this is actually true but I earnestly believe Anders heard Donnic make one off hand comment once and then convinced himself of a whole story to try to get aveline on his side
  • Frankly all of Anders’ act 3 dialogue that’s just increasingly stupid and desperate attempts to get people to agree with him
  • Trying to convince Hawke to leave Fenris or Merrill has to be on this list bc it’s probably him at his most pathetic but they’re too far even for me those scenes are UNBEARABLE to watch
  • STARTING A WORLD CHANGING REBELLION AND IMMEDIATELY GETTING KICKED OUT BC NOBODY LIKES HIM
  • If you convince him to side with the Templars in 2 then in DAI Varric says that he got kicked out of kirkwall immediately after for what he did. Imagining that entire series of events makes me want to THROW UP it’s insane
  • Trying to give Varric a treasured and deeply sentimental possession of his to remember him by only for Varric to give it back bc he thinks he’s being weird
  • If you kick him out of the party but then side with the mages and he shows up at the gallows asking you to please take him back so he can help
  • The first time I took Anders on mark of the assassin and the wyvern immediately picked him out as the squishiest member of the party and bolted over to rip him to shreds instantly. I build Anders as mostly support and I wanted his effects on the rest of the party for the fight so I kept reloading my save to try to keep him alive longer than one second but every time the wyvern would go out of its way to brutally kill him at the beginning of every fight until I gave up. Being trapped in a repeating time loop where he is mauled by a wild animal as his friends are helpless to stop it is definitely a top pathetic Anders moment for me
  • When I was playing a pro templar Hawke and took him, Fenris, and Sebastian with me when we talked to Meredith at the end of that capturing apostates quest and Anders started mouthing off about this all being the Templars’ fault and everyone in the room started bullying the shit out of him
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The sun will become black as sackcloth of hair, and the moon will become as blood. Are you ready?

The sun already became black as sackcloth of hair last week. And the moon became as blood two weeks before that. I'm totally ready.

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lillagrim
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relelvance

In what world is tall muscular man not conventionally attractive

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piedude

We've all been down here too long. I truly think there's a chunk of tumblr's population that can no longer survive sunlight.

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reblogged

in the Egyptian wing of the museum and my boyfriend is like "what are all the time periods of ancient Egypt" and I'm like predynastic, early dynastic, old kingdom which is when the pyramids were built, first intermediate, middle kingdom, second intermediate, new kingdom which includes amarna period and yugioh, third intermediate, and then all the late period stuff and macedonian and roman eras. and he's like run that by me one more time

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nasa: we're going to shoot three rockets directly at the sun during the total eclipse. for study and research purposes.

me: oh cool

nasa: we have named the rockets apep. this stands for atmospheric perturbations [in the] eclipse path.

me: oh cool

nasa: apep is also the ancient egyptian deity of chaos and darkness, who ceaselessly seeks to extinguish the sun. we launch these rockets directly at the sun in the name of apep.

me: oh... cool?

you know a lot of stuff has gone to shit since we stopped regularly launching rockets named after gods out into space.

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minmos

i have a disgusting amount of dreams that just involve me identifying birds like i come out of my dreams with lists of birds that i saw and i was like "i know who that is. Great Blue Heron. Cedar Waxwing"