Clown Gonorrhea

I acshully want to know more about Akira (pretend to be surprised) regarding who is her funniest rival… Not necessarily in the realm of overarching danger or competence, rather, in terms of being a passive aggressive office threat. The pranks, the subterfuge… I wish to learn.

WOW WHAT A SURPRISE... Akira wants to know more about Akira... Huh!

I will give you three characters who have the "funniest rival" dynamic with Akira.

I talk a LOT about Junko being Akira's actual rival, but I believe it's mostly on Junko's side. Akira dislikes her greatly, but she views her just as a nuisance and thinks it's an absolute delight to mess with because she will literally buy into any of her tricks. Akira paints a hole on a wall and tells Junko "hey Junko there's a beautiful woman with big boobs on the other side of that hole AND SHE DOES NOT WANT YOU" and Junko smokes her cigarette in the most aggressive way possible and screams "FUCK YOU AKIRA ALL THE BEAUTIFUL WOMEN WITH BIG BOOBS WANT ME!!!!!" and rushes into the hole and gets her skull crushed by the impact. Of course, because of this, Junko's hatred for Akira reaches beyond comical level. The main difference between Akira hating Junko and Junko hating Akira is that Junko will NEVER even attempt to pull subtle tricks on Akira. The best she can do is call her names and attempt to stab her (it always fails). Or try to call her BrightLady Boss to prove that YES she is friends with people who are not losers (she never answers her calls). So to sum it up: Akira merely dislikes Junko but will go to great lengths to commit Lethal Tomfoolery on her ass while Junko hates Akira so much the only thing she can comes up with is trying to kill her or prove that the beautiful women with big boobs love her for real.

While i would not qualify their relationship as a "rivals", I want to talk about how The Boss is the single most lethal threat that Akira ever faces on the daily. The Boss is the oyabun/Family Boss of the Youkai Yakuza (NAME SUBJECT TO CHANGE. I THINK.) and feared by pretty much everyone in the Youkai sphere. Being even close to her is both an extreme privilege and curse. Gashadokuro, Kana and Junko all work for her as Enforcers (the highest rank of Youkai Yakuza Goons and pretty much her Bodyguards) because they have no choice: The Boss both has Peak Blackmailing on them and/or has tortured them into doing her bidding. Meanwhile, Akira just showed up to the Youkai Yakuza on her own volition, with her own motivation, and The Boss took great interest and said "you're hired", despite having zero information on Akira's identity nor motives. This is what Akira fears the most. She's someone with an absolute net zero of information concerning her identity. Half of the information you can find on her are either misleading red herring or blatantly wrong on purpose. However, having conversed with the other members about The Boss' actions, she came to realize and fear The Boss as she knows she could have the potential to Actually Find Information About Her and thus threaten her life. For now? Akira is just the silly little girl who can get away with shit talking The Boss because The Boss just has zero blackmailing material. For now. Akira does have a goal in working for the Youkai Yakuza and she's willing to take the constant risk of The Boss finding out about her and shackling her to the Youkai Yakuza for good.

And finally i want to present you the SECOND FUNNIEST rivalry, the funniest BEEF Akira has with.

Moriko Kimura. Tanuki MagiMonster and ACTUAL MAIN CHARACTER OF MAGIMONSTERS AS A WHOLE (very first OC made for the setting, actually). Through being a genuinely kind girl, Moriko counters most if not all of Akira attempts at Hating On Her. Akira will comes up with a plan to make her day go from bad to worse, set everything up, get her into the bait and introduce herself as THE FEARSOME KITSUNE MAGIMONSTER WHO WILL STEAL SOUL FOR HER OWN AMUSEMENT and Moriko will just go "omg hi!!! hi bestie!!!! kitsune magimon?! that's SOOO pog girl!!!! you look SO cool!!! i love your kimono it's AWESOME. Oh!! Look at the time, i have to go back with my team! They probably wonder where i am right now. Good luck Kitsune MagiMon!!!! See ya buh bye!!!" and leaves while Akira is just dumbfounded upon experiencing this tanuki girl's mental version of the Evo Moment #37. And everytime it's the same thing happening. Moriko is genuinely clueless Akira doesn't like her (because she's a tanuki so naturally) and thinks of her as a good woman and hopes she can "beat her anxiety and become friends with her".

Now i said the SECOND funniest rivalry. Who's the first?

Yasue Ishikawa. Kawauso MagiMonster. 14 years old girl. Active menace on Akira. Akira actively fears this girl. Yasue can read through her illusions. Yasue knows her deep dark fears and how to roast her to oblivion. Yasue is always there when Akira does something cool, which causes Akira to notice and immediately fail. Yasue. Always. Watches.

Akira wishes she was dead. But she cannot kill her. Not because murdering kids is illegal. But because Yasue manages to hurt her ego enough to render her unable to move or speak for a full hour.