I didnt know that a lot of the art i made was about trauma, dissociation, and the difficulty of living with unrecognized childhood trauma. In retrospect much of it is obvious. A few pieces were consciously about trauma but many were not. As my intent was not to create “art about trauma” of course I do not mind if others relate to my “art about trauma” for other reasons; I appreciate that others can have such different such deeply personal interpretations of things I have made.
But I would like to say also that the things I made about the things I experienced are all in some way about trauma (other than the ones that were more lighthearted nonsense, simply for fun). I would also like to say that I have become remarkably happier* and healthier** ever since becoming willing to understand my experiences as trauma. It is strange to realize that many things you assumed were normal are not at all normal. It can feel pointless and hopeless and as if you have permanently lost your mind when you first begin to think about it. It hurts very much. But then things can become really different.
I have been thinking a lot about pain. Some pain is unavoidable. I have some diseases that result in a lot of physical pain. Many terrible things have happened to me and I am often overwhelmed by grief and pain. But pain can be managed, sympathized with, and reduced. I would like to encourage anyone who found younger mes expressions of my pain very resonant to treat themselves kindly and extend sympathy for their pain and its causes to themselves whenever possible. Thank you for reading.
*By “happier” I mean that I am happier. **By “healthier” I mean that I am much less close to death and more of my organs function properly.
