all interests are cringe interests

Middle-aged magical girl.

She's been defending the Earth since the early 90s and she's very tired.

My name is Tominaga Haruka. I was chosen by a magical talking animal, and for the last 29 years I've been Earth's one and only... Wonder-Sparkle Princess.

she's been fighting the same villains for three decades and they are also tired of it. Most of them aren't giving it their all. Half of them are in a groupchat they've added her to where they schedule their evil plans to make sure they don't interfere with each other, or more importantly, with *her* Xalkrax the space demon from outer space decided to attack the city when she was taking her vacation time once, and now he's dead, because even the power of friendship and redemption can't save you if you interrupt her rare vacations

Demon Queen Eluria: Gonna fill the city people's hearts with hatred on thursday to cause mayhem and discord.

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: Can't, got a PTA meeting.

Demon Queen Eluria: Friday?

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: A birthday party.

Demon Queen Eluria: Damn. How about I fill just the mayor's heart with hatred then?

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: That'd be redundant, lol. Maybe fill his heart with a desire to fix the fucking potholes?!

Demon Queen Eluria: LMFAO love you, bitch. Stay strong.

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: You too, gurl. How's the husband? Still dead?

Demon Queen Eluria: Yep. Thanks for that, btw.

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: Don't mess with my time off :p

Why are people tagging this '#wonder sparkle princess' like that's a thing and not a name I made up exclusively for this post?

Books

All the books are early European gay fiction, most of them published during the first two decades of the 1900s, some of them are originally German although some are translations (such as Michail Kuzmin’s Wings).

And something I want to share is that while I was searching for titles beyond the ones already knew, I found the publisher Bibliothek rosa Winkel, which is publishing old lgbtq texts in German.

Barbie spoilers but one of the funniest things about the “it was too feminist and woke” reviews is that a big chunk of the movie is Ken finding his own agency as a separate entity from Barbie and that the patriarchy also negatively affects men, like Greta Gerwig went “this movie is absolutely also for men” and it STILL flew over their anti feminist heads

hate to say it but the key to having things solved by big company customer service is you just gotta stretch the truth with them. or straight up lie. actually. was on the phone for 3 hours because they sent something to the wrong address and spoke to 10 different departments trying to figure out if anyone could go fucking get it and they're like "uhhh but can you go get it" bitch I'm 8 hours away by car, I don't live in the house where you sent it.

took a moment to think, called back and was just like. Hi. My package was stolen off the porch!!! Saw the cunt steal it myself!! Anyway can you please send new things to this other address for free since that's your policy for stolen goods thank you~☆ ! and it was immediately solved.

actually my tags are too good not to include

follow me for more customer service tips and tricks

THIS is how it's done!!!

I had to cancel our trash service because they sucked plus we found a company that was like...1/3 of the price. When I called I didn’t tell them that, though--I said we were “going to have to move back in with my folks for awhile due to some financial stuff.” They didn’t ask a single question and we were cancelled within 5 minutes.

It’s okay. Lie. As someone who worked in a call center, it’s SO MUCH EASIER if you just give us one of the pre-approved reasons for wanting to do something. 

i'm so fascinated by the "just ken." in the context of the tagline (she's everything, he's just ken) it makes it sound like ken is just an accessory to barbie and is nothing without her, but in the actual movie in the speech barbie gives, she turns the phrase on its head. ken isn't an accessory to barbie, he isn't the attention barbie gives him, he's just ken. and that's not even mentioning the "she's everything" part of the tagline and how it goes with gloria's speech of women having to fulfill the impossible task of fitting into every box and juggle conflicting expectations and roles just to be liked by society. the tagline represents opposite ends of a spectrum but by the end of the movie barbie and ken meet in the middle, where they're each allowed to be their own person independent of the expectations and insecurities they've been operating on. this movie, man

I will say I get the vibe that a lot of peoples interest and support for strikers is a bit too much for a vicarious ‘burn it down’ thrill, rather than for the actual goals of a strike.

Like UPS has agreed to come back to the table and it is very possible they will concede to Union demands and avert a strike. And if that happens (so long as the union does not make concessions on its key demands) it’s a good thing. It’s a victory for the laborers. It is the same ultimate conclusion that a strike would intend to produce except without the workers having to go on (not so great) strike pay for a week or two.

Getting what you want without having to strike is sort of like getting someone you're suing to settle. It allows you to get what you want with a lot less pain and financial sacrifice. The other party also benefits for the same reasons (not to mention saving face), but that in no way diminishes your victory. Sometimes the threat of fighting back is enough to get the powers that be to back down--thats a good thing

It’s okay to say “the part of me that wants to burn it all down really wants to see the strike happen, but I’d love if it doesn’t have to.” You can acknowledge what the monkey brain wants while also saying the monkey brain isn’t always right.”

we need to bring back the word square like i don't think it's problematic that you listen to taylor swift i just kinda think it's lame as hell

Call me whatever names you wish, but I think this is a much better (and healthier) attitude than “anyone under 18 should never be allowed to see any sexual imagery ever”

(For reference: this was at the Tom of Finland exhibition, containing actual, queer, kinky af pornography. There were definitely some young people there, perhaps in their late teens. There was even a parent with their baby who was probably too young to understand anything at all. And guess what, all those people are probably going to be fine.)

[ID: a sign saying “Please note: there is no age limit, but the exhibition is not recommended for children due to the explicit sexual imagery it contains. Parental or guardian discretion is advised.”]

Any setting where the elves have weaker booze than the dwarves isn't committing to the bit

I mean, we're talking about people whose lifespan is Yes.

"Oh, the weak wine? That is for children. I am two thousand years old, and I daresay one sip from this highball would knock you on your ass for a week."

Look, there's this weird thing people do with high fantasy where they want elves to be immortal/extremely long-lived snooty aristocrats and also somehow incapacitated by imagining the taste of salt too hard. "Orcs and dwarves have the hardest booze" no they don't, they have work in the morning! In any of these settings, elves would pregame harder than hobbits party and everyone else has shit to do tomorrow.

The average high elf builds up the drug tolerance of a mid-70s Hollywood producer and then spends three centuries studying alchemy. While humans seek immortality, the Immortals seek the elusive "philosopher's cocaine."

using the wrong password and still being asked if i want to save it is like the most insulting thing. little wrong password baby do you wanna save your goddamn wrong password for all of eternity. you stupid idiot

That trans girl mutual you think is so cool? The one you have a huge crush on? Yeah I have some bad news for you buddy. She's taken. She's dating a she/they. That she/they is on here too and their blog consists entirely of the most unfunny normie reblogs you have ever seen in your life. Some real "what is Harry Potter was in the TARDIS" type shit. And they're monogamous. They're monogamously e-dating. They call each other "my wife" sometimes too so it's hard to tell but they might actually be monogamously e-married. You can fix her. Only you can save her. Slide into her DMs right now.

Losing it at the people in the tags like "I did this and it worked" or "my ex's new girlfriend reblogged this".... I think this might be my most destructive post yet

learning that self depreciation isnt cool and just makes the people around you uncomfortable unironically improved my mental health a lot. like if you just stop saying negative shit about yourself you will genuinely like yourself more and other people wont be repulsed by your attitude and you will have more friends. it's true.

they hate me for my girlish whimsy and for my pathological degree of avoidant behavior

the bros only one click away

RIP to this blog that made this singular post and then deleted

“fanfiction,” as a concept, only exists because of intellectual property. at the end of the day, it’s just fiction. some of it is great, some of it sucks ass. sometimes, it can reveal something damning about the author—prejudices, biases, whether or not they think cats should be left indoors, how they feel about offshore tax evasion, whatever. that’s the nature of fiction. this is not news to anyone who’s ever opened a book

what’s truly unique about fanfiction is that it’s anonymous and free with a barrier to entry that ants wouldn’t notice climbing. also, it’s amateur by necessity; barring a few notable exceptions, nobody expects their gaudy slash fiction to win them an award or make them a million dollars. this crock pot of internet fuckery lends itself to two things—a monumental diversity of skill level and buck wild nasty behavior

fanfiction is neither god’s gift to all man kind nor an incurable blight. it’s just a thing. that exists. it’s neither defenseless nor indefensible. it can be harmful, helpful, or benign. more importantly, it’s not going anywhere, so i wish we’d stop arguing about whether or not it’s “legitimate” and talk about what’s actually happening with it instead

We’re going to engage in a mild amount of tomfoolery

shout out to all the girls who will be the man their father never was

kink at pride is easy af to explain to kids, idk what yall are talking about. "mommy, why is that mostly-naked man wearing leather?" because lots of gay men think it looks nice. "why is that guy on a leash with a mask?" hes playing pretend. "why does she have a whip?" she thinks its fun. you know how you like to play with water guns? its like that but only for grown-ups, and she wont play with anyone who doesnt want to play with her so we're all totally safe

if your 6yo's next question is "is that a sex thing?", thats fucking wild and a completely different problem. for you. not really an "Us Problem" collectively for all pride-goers, tbh. something's going on there thats hard to call the dominatrix's fault

Something that I've used to judge my health, in more ways than one, is what I call the need-to-pee test.

When I'm sitting, wasting time, and I need to pee, healthy me will just get up and go to the bathroom. That's normal behavior.

Sometimes, however, elements of my health will make that very basic task difficult. When you recognize that you need to pee, but you have to have an internal conversation with The Vampire of Despair about if you needing to pee is a failure and a judgement on your worth as a human being, you need to reach out to someone about your mental health. Being too depressed to get up and go pee is a sign that something in your mental health is very wrong. It's a sign that it's "bad enough" to really need some help.

When you recognize that you need to pee, but you don't want to get up because your body will be in pain, that's a sign that your pain is "bad enough" where you should do something about it. If you've been sitting around your house telling yourself that shit's fine, but you also procrastinate on the basic duty of going to take a pee because doing that simple task is going to cause you so much pain that it's not worth the comfort you get from not needing to pee, your body is fucked, and shit's not fine.

Getting up and going to pee is a thing that should not take effort or be unpleasant. Having difficult getting up and going to the bathroom often means that your problem is actually pretty bad. If you've been ignoring the problem, it's a very good sign that you should stop ignoring the problem.

Needing to pee but not being able to get up and go pee because the cat is sitting on you, however, is normal operating procedure. How dare you move the cat for something as selfish as your basic bodily functions. You metabolized and you didn't even get permission? The cat does not approve.

eternally true