i love when ur inside chilling or cleaning and it suddenly starts raining hard as hell YESSSSS IM A LITTLE MOUSE IN A TREE HOLLOW HOUSE
cruelty is so easy. youre not special for choosing it
They have to make it to today's stupid blazed posts on time.
imagine a rat using an airpod as a cane . imagine that
i’m thinking about it
master splinter
The silence was LOUD
My husband and me in the supermarket check out line.
A cashier in Lowes literally asked me and my partner if we were best friends 🥲
every time my bf says “for the time being” i respond with “for the time bean” and then we say “all hail the time bean” and carry on the conversation like nothing happened
batman villains are funny bc they all end up in arkham over and over so its just like
killer croc, painting a beautiful and sensitive portrait representing his inner turmoil: i had no idea (insert plant) was an invasive species in gotham
poison ivy, painting a photorealistic fern: they are! they’re so widespread that its almost impossible to contain, and it really hurts my heart
joker trying so fucking hard not to call them homophobic slurs because the therapist told him he’d get extra joker mush if he behaved for once in his fucking life:
at this point the toxic waste he fell into fucked him up so bad he wont eat anything that hasnt been mashed up and irradiated so the arkham doctors just throw random shit in a pot and mash it up for him. he loves it
If I want the mush I’ll just get the mush. Arkham is the world’s first prison constructed entirely out of Kleenex
this is the only funny comment anyone has ever made on this post. including my comment
My dinnar 💪💯❗💥
This is one of your worst posts yet man
You called me dirt sucking poor and told me my carrot looks like a cock
mutuals stop putting this on my dash challenge
Every Friday. Every Friday i either see this post or live in fear of seeing it. I can’t wake up and say ‘it’s friday’ anymore without thinking of this post. I am living a nightmare and it’s your fault
Thank Gnome it’s Friday! Lol
I wish octopus could learn how to read. They could be pen pals with middle schoolers.
Dearest Samantha, I do not know what a guinea pig is, but it sounds delicious. I hope you have fun devouring it, or playing with it, if that is your preference. Today I hacked a local computer to get more bubbles in my tank and took a photograph of an unsuspecting victim. Do let me know how your human activities are going. And if this "Karen" continues to antagonize your brother, I would suggest smacking her very hard. And do send more canned snacks. Best Wishes, Octopus #5, Monterrey bay research aquarium
don’t let the hide the fact that maru has caused a soaking wet incident










