SOMETIME IN THE LAST WEEK MY SCHOOL PUT UP A LARGE BANNER DEDICATED TO THE :-) EMOTICON

happy birthday :-) face

it’s that time of the year again everyone say happy 40th birthday :-)

This is apparently what was contained in the original message that invented the :-) and I'm obsessed with Fahlman's diction here

Art by TERU

It always surprises me how many deactivated users there are here. And maybe most of them are the natural consequence of URL-hopping, but beyond those, the ones that intentionally deactivated--just the idea of actively deciding to terminate an account is so foreign to me.

I'm in the business of atrophy.

My Neopets exist, and persist, and are dying and continue to die for the last ten years my account has been dark. My penguin lived until the day Club Penguin died, immobile in its igloo, decoration among the puffles. My Webkinz stand in rooms which time refuses to allow even the dignity of gathering dust. My footprint stuffs the digital shelves of datacenters for sites and accounts I do not remember making.

I've made a horde of scattered exoskeletons, shells which I cannot even call ghosts because that implies a presence. They are husks. They are archives. They are records. I do not ever consider the mercy of allowing them to die.

Well this got real eldritch real fast

Art by Jocelin Carmes

an ice cold beer topped with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. lying on top of the ice cream foam is a salted peanut. this is the angel. around him are sprinkles (his tears). this is "the angel's lament", my new cocktail

Sure, why not. ‘Angels lament’

instead of exterminating rats, the state of New York should hire a rat trainer to round them all up and teach them to do odd jobs. they could clean up litter, scrub the manhole covers… run electrical wires. maybe do some plumbing

there should be a dedicated rat feeding station in every subway. if you pass out drunk on the bus a squadron of 50-60 purebred albino rats should carry you gently down the street back to your home. i know this may all sound rather infeasible—but if you hire me, the pied piper,

283,000 likes………giant meteor strike the earth rn holy shit. oh my god.

"maybe it's not your pussy" is such a funny phrase and also correct. People wonder why chores are so hard and it's like, friends we used to have a whole intergenerational team on this and now Grandma is locked in a beige box. Cooking is hard.

IM SCREAMIKNDFISDNFJSDBF

is there a name for this

hey op. i want you to know my boyfriend has been in hysterics, laughing and occasionally wheezing out "bibby" for the past half an hour because of this post. are you proud of what youve done?

Im the bf btw I made fanart

Please don't ask me for relationship advice unless you are prepared to receive some truly upsetting information because some people are ready for the "He's exhibiting the literal textbook signs of a psychological abuser and you need to get away from him before he successfully cuts you off from your support network" talk and some people aren't

FOR WHOEVER NEEDS A REMINDER:

This applies to ALL relationships btw

Adobe Premiere is like a horse

hates being alive. expensive. designed to run fast. does not. makes me feel like a girl in a mid 2000s horse girl movie going shhh shhh in the only one who understands you. it’s okay girl. and then it bites my fingers.

u okay bud?

It crashed as soon as I made this post i’m gonna feed my editing software oats 👍. from my hand 🫴

she needs all the strength she can get for the big race (rendering 4k clips)

Yknow the thing where red pandas just lay down on a branch and let their legs hang and they’re just like vibing

they’re just vibing yknow?

porcupines do this too :)

i have excellent news about the manul cat

Manul cat is an automatic reblog from me.

I am porcupine.

Pretty much most cats that spend any time in trees, tbh

Honestly tho, in terms of lazy chill I don’t think anyone’s gonna beat this bear:

look at this squirrel

by inaturalist user gregslak

@rhythpo

And let’s not forget the time an entire pride of ten lions decided to take a nap in a single tree

Yes these photos are real

I'm screaming from this post on a librariam group

i sent this to my mom (she’s a librarian) and she immediately responded with these

UPDATE

skill issue

Fun fact! Having a job every day is actually a fairly new thing.

In olden times, people had daily chores and other things to do but their workload/ daily working hours was actually much lower than it is today. Even in farming communities.

The concept of working super hard every day actually comes from capitalism, which in turn comes from Puritanical ideology.

The Puritans believed in salvation through work and in no play.

Early capitalists adopted this ideology because it meant higher productivity and therefore more money if their factories were running near constantly.

The idea of needing to be continuously productive in order to be useful/ allowed things like food and shelter, is actually quite an insidious ideal that is deeply rooted in the American culture.

4 day work weeks have actually proven to be more productive than the 5 day week. But corporations won't adopt it willingly because it means less of a stranglehold on their workers.

I have feelings for you. The feelings are envy, malice, hatred, crush kill bite claw claw claw

...... want to be held

So Arizona launched an “education hotline” that allows “concerned parents” to report “””critical race theory””” and other things like ~gender identity~ being taught in the classroom

It would be a shame if the number and email were spread to bad actors looking to prank call the AZ Department of Education

602-771-3500 or empower @ azed .gov 🤡

and for the love of god, don’t just spam it with memes or le funny shrek jokes or whatever, they’ll just hang up

make plausible-sounding reports for things that don’t actually exist, so that they actually have to waste time/resources investigating false leads - the goal is to waste time they would otherwise be using to do their jobs, not to get tumblr clout for being an epic troll

So apparently the internet article said the superintendent wouldn't be deterred by the prank calls because they would 'taper off eventually'. It'd be a real shame if this post stayed in circulation via queues so they get a consistent list of prank calls to filter through. 😇

comics that make me cry a little (first comic attributed to lynda barry. second comic attributed to pictures for sad children. third comic attributed to grebcomics.)

how did they learn to translate languages into other languages how did they know which words meant what HOW DID TH

English Person: *Points at an apple* Apple

French Person: Non c’est une fucking pomme 

*800 years of war*

Fun fact: There are a lot of rivers in the UK named “avon” because the Romans arrived and asked the Celts what the rivers were called. The Celts answered “avon.” 

“Avon” is just the Celtic word for river.

Fan Fact #2: When Spanish conquistadors landed in the Yucatán peninsula, they asked the natives what their land was called and they responded “Yucatán”. In 2015, it was discovered that in those mesoamerican languages, “Yucatán” meant “I don’t understand what you are saying”

W H E E Z E

Just lemme open my ol whatthat

I have watched COLUMBO with my grandpa so many times when I was a kid and I never knew Lieutenant Columbo's first name was Frank! Frank Columbo! Frank!

So for those interested: Columbo's name IS Frank but it's only because the prop's guy had to put something as a first name and just randomly chose Frank. He actually got in trouble for that. On the other hand, if it were such an issue, they probably shouldn't have had a close up on Columbo's card.

https://columbophile.com/2018/03/18/was-lieutenant-columbos-first-name-really-frank/comment-page-1/

Oh that's even better - random prop guy named him and they were forced to keep it like that. Amazing.