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The Queen Baby

@catgirlwarrior

Kate| she/her | Taurus if you care about that | credit for the pride icon goes to:  @evildead2 |  TERFS/MAPS/anti-choicers/other assholes stay far away
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my brother sent me this photo of his cat and i’m gonna lose my mind. he looks like a kingdom hearts character 

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i swear to god. every time he sends me a text about this fucking cat, i feel like i’m gonna die

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the reason so many characters who "use humor to mask the pain" or "are assholes with hearts that care DEEP down" are mischaracterized in fan content is because fans would like to explore the more vulnerable side implied but not shown all the time in the source, but in doing so forget the outer layer the character actually acts like most of the time, which then echoes as fans begin to immerse themselves in fan content exclusively without going back to the source for a long time. that is to say that you cant separate the outside self a character presents to others from their inner self and insecurities they are and have inside - they may have issues, but theyre still funny and/or an asshole

the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.

capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.

now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.

and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.

and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.

and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".

it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"

The Lego Movie is something that only happens once in life because you cannot recreate the experience of being dragged to “stupid marketing ploy to sell plastic bricks to 5 year olds” and 90 minutes later come out of “surreal cosmic horror comedy about the existential dread of artistic expression and the meaning of free will with commentary on capitalist oligarchy. To sell plastic bricks to 5 year olds.”

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yesterday i was talking to a Guy and i asked what time it was and he git really excited and said "time for you to get aaaaa.... SUNDIAL!!" and then started talking about sundials and sounding like a fucking commercial and i pointed out that sundials have to be in one specific spot to work and he got all nervous and asked if i've tried a sextant. what the fuck

not to sound like Sundial Salesman Guy but … he’s lowkey right, if you’re in a place with a fair amount of sunlight. two weeks ago i was hanging out with a little kid when she wondered aloud what time it was. i looked at the sun, adjusted my body a bit, put my elbow on the ground with the arm up perpendicular, and told her “it’s about 12:45.”

then she had to get a watch to see if i was right (pretty much — it was 12:50), and then i found myself explaining cardinal directions and sundials to a preschooler

ANYWAY MY POINT IS that no, sundials don’t require a fixed place for efficiency, only enough sun to cast a shadow & awareness of your relative direction, and knowing this is great but going on about it makes you sound horny for ancient Rome

if you don't know how to make a sundial but need a guesstimate on how much daylight is left, hold your hand out at arm's length horizontally and count how many fingers fit between the sun and the horizon. it's about 15 minutes a finger.

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literally all you people sound insane to me

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not to bring up my old scorned lover fire emblem heroes but one thing that i have to hand to them that literally no other mobile game is doing is that they actually recognized that they were a phone game. meant to be played on a phone

by which i mean that they had fucking data compression updates and a "delete unnecessary data" function and a whole ass lite mode so it isnt a 10 GB brick on your phone and holy fuck i wish some other gachas took note

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if you're a bad person you age ugly *photo of celebrity with bad plastic surgery*

but if you're a good person you age well *photo of celebrity with good plastic surgery*

Whenever I get a puncture wound I feel so smug towards any tetanus that might be in there. They have no idea about my sick ass vaccinated immune system. While you were crawling in soil my cells were studying Tdap. Now die by the hands of my learnéd warriors.