Standing at the top of the stair well wearing my bunk mates clothes to scare him at the abandoned factory sleepover after our scary "Clone vat" movie watch party but I forgot he put a curse on his clothing to act like puppies when ever they see him so they rip themselves off my body and bound down the stairs to greet him and start barking and im just naked at the top of the stairs and afraiud and embarased and but instead of being angry he steps up to me and stwrts to. .. .... we start kissinf

This was my barbenheimer

This was my barbenheimer

i think banishment is the funniest possible spell you can cast on someone. like i'm not even going to fight you. YOU'RE going to leave. you have no choice.

a guy i banished to the desert 10 years ago finally tracks me down after years of plotting his revenge and i immediately banish him to the desert again

So I was just looking up Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron reviews, and WOW was it underrated at the time of its release, it got some pretty mediocre scores.

Anyway, I just wanted to make fun of this one review I uncovered by Peter Bradshaw from The Guardian.

I seriously wonder what he was expecting. Spirit's pretty hardcore for a kid's movie. Also, BAMBI, really?

This dude is way too concerned with seeing Spirit's nuts and joystick.

...I mean it's certainly not as comedic as Shrek, and it's not meant to be. But saying the movie's bland and undemanding? Seriously? The movie with the horse and the Native man being starved and dehydrated to try to break their will, and them both escaping and standing up to the U.S. army? That movie?!

Also this dude is still very concerned about the fact that Spirit's bing-bongs are missing.

How on earth is Spirit like Bambi, how did you reach that conclusion?! Because they both star animals? Like they're not even both TALKING animals, the most we get is some narration from Spirit, all other communication is through horse vocalization and body language.

Guardian film critic Peter Bradshaw, sweating: "I JUST WANT TO SEE SOME THROBBING, PULSING HORSE COCK AND GREAT, SWAYING EQUINE BALLS! BRITISH CHILDREN **DESERVE** LOVINGLY DETAILED CLOSE-UP SHOTS OF THE HORSE'S PENIS AND TESTICLES!! THIS FILM IS A DISAPPOINTMENT ON EVERY POSSIBLE LEVEL!!!"

The Guardian not accepting someone's gender unless they can see their genitals is pretty on brand.

tumblr in 2020:

they dont want us to know this but the real cure to the agonies is to engage in shenanigans. tomfoolery even 

Yeah sorry man I know I was the projected face trapped in your cursed ring for a while. I hope you didn't take any of that advice I gave you about how to divvy up your estate I didn't know what the fuck I was talking about

Posting this iconic piece of media that I just NEVER found online isolated except in an archived reddit thread

The Outside They Built

"Go outside" adults say But don't loiter at the mall Movie tickets cost 15 Popcorn costs twice that A concert, thrice (If you're lucky) No skating on the sidewalk Even if you could, it's broken Don't wander too far in the woods It's dangerous Dirty Arcades aren't enriching But if you really want it, pay up Park closes at 10 Beach closes at 7 "Why are you inside On your phone? Kids your age Never get out anymore."

super special award for every1 who survived 🥇

Piers Morgan suicide spell: like to charge, reblog to cast

Trump tweet

The short shorts and crop top keep my body cool and aerated with maximum freedom of movement while I stay inside day drinking and playing video games all day

also "ough life-saving essential medical equipment uses so much plastic" in this country you can purchase an artificial ballsack for your pickup truck

"ough watching a show uses so much electricity" on road sides there are giant electrified billboards that do nothing but show you ads

Worker solidarity is the future.