i don't think "bluesky" or "cohost" or "pillowfort" exist i think y'all are just making up words, to me

yaaaaaay yippee!!!!! the world so beautiful and we're cohosting it together ^_^

⬅ salt fork

I’ve been playing botw and totk too much I’ve started to wish I could paraglide off of my apartment building instead of taking the stairs.

Hallway is outdoors so it looks like I should be able to jump over the railings and glide over to the duplexes across the street but sadly no. Real world physics does not allow this.

I reprogrammed the sex robot to start killing btw

Well I reprogrammed the killing robot to start sexing. So

Fun fact: this happens in the Sam Raimi show Cleopatra 2525.

It's set in a post apocalyptic world where robots took over the world, but humans live in underground mineshafts. A "Betrayer" (basically a Terminator) is sent to kill the three protagonists, but they manage to defeat and disarm him. They then reprogram him to be a sex bot, like you do.

Found today while gathering acorns (swamp white oak). How adorable is this? I love her little feet, and the way she pivots around her proboscis, fascinated by how far her head rotates… Curculio sp. (if anyone can ID to species, please add!)

there's no such thing as a fish, but all mammals are fish, and whales are fish because they're mammals

IM A FISH??

once the magic spell starts taking place, then yes

Oh god…..I can already feel the spell taking effect……………………………………..I can…………………feel the fish flowing through me………………………………….

O-Oh god…………………what is…………………happening to me……………….?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA FFFUUUCCCCKKKKK IT HURTS SO BAD AAAAAAAAAA MAKE IT STOP OH GOD PLEASE HAVE MERCY AAAAAAAAAAAAA

That's not the kind of fish you are ;)

Try this on instead, it might fit better:

@cephalopodmurder​ good news! you are already a fish. bad news, your fish ancestors are the ones that gave you those knees

I know, I know, "we added in a Sauropod because of Ornithoscelida", but here's the hint: that paper was really bad and it's probably unnecessary. Just assume dinosauria is Saurischia + Ornithischia for poll purposes.

also obviously there are a near infinite number of combinations that could work for this, so, I limited myself to these

Iguanodon and Megalosaurus! The classic fighting pair, look at them go!

The difference between Trees and Fish, written on my phone so not one of my better formatted posts:

Fish evolved the one time. Pretty much all vertebrates outside of tetrapods were considered fish. And these animals have much in common with their anatomy.

Tetrapods also have those things in common. In fact, a lot of the quirks of tetrapod anatomy are directly because we are descended from fish. We can’t call all those other things fish without including tetrapods, not just because we descend from them, but also because we have a lot in common. We are walking fish.

Tree was never really a taxonomic thing to begin with. Turns out, it’s really advantageous for a plant to evolve as tall as it can. Turns out, it’s easier to do that if you have more support, like wood. So different plant groups evolved tree shapes multiple times. So tree was never really about their relationships or anything, and we don’t need to call all plants trees. This is much more similar to the “all crustaceans eventually become crab” phenomenon than it is to the fish - tetrapod one.

Hope that helps!

Also, by the way, we’ve always defined dinosaurs as a family group; so even if we throw out the word fish, birds remain dinosaurs. That’s just a fact now.

Thank you!

Ok so I was curious about that fucking deathtrap and I noticed a couple... oddities.

Alright so this thing is pretty stupid; I'm not at all familiar with submersible vessels, But it activated a sleeper gene in my skull from my time being obsessed with a certain video game.

So I decided to check the promotional page for the contraption.

(I'm going to put aside the second image, where they state the previous shit they hammered out had a 500 meter depth limit tops (i.e. that they, at best, made something that could get to 500 meters then decided that meant they could handle making something that could handle 8 times that). Thinking about the fact they brag about this so brazenly hurts my head. Back to the topic at hand.)

Ok so google shows "cyclops class" is not. a thing that exists. But it sure is funny they keep saying that word. Again maybe it's just my stupid video game brain but that doesn't seem to be used in this context anywhere else. Then I saw the renders.

Ok the newer one on the left really loves that "single eye" thing and looks silly enough, but the older one is.... ok. I give up. That's Subnautica. That's Subnautica For Real.

They built their goddamn suicide death trap based on a submarine in a videoed game.

No Fucking way. There's no fucking way. There's no fucking chance that--

I'm speechless.

best jerma jokes are the ones where he has his webcam on and has text overlay and he’s pretending to do something

this reply made me laugh harder than any reply I think I've ever gotten

How did they find the worst audio ever made

"surely an exaggeration" i thought, before hearing the worst audio ever made

The funny thing about being an X-Files fan is that there are the "good" monster-of-the-week episodes where Mulder's theories are insane, Scully is justifiably skeptical, and the real culprit turns out to be something neither of them expected (if, indeed, they ever learn the full truth at all), and then there are the "bad" monster-of-the-week episodes where Scully is shrill and Mulder is smug, the culprit turns out to be exactly what Mulder's zero evidence ass-pull of a theory claimed it would be, and Scully maintains her skepticism only because a series of Phineas and Ferb contrivances keep making all the evidence vanish right before she walks into the room, and everyone just politely pretends that the latter don't make up 80% of the show.

One may note that the pictured post opens with the phrase "when the show is at its best"; it does not specify how often that is.

i m a normal girl who has normal thoughts all yhe time

they should give me landmines

so the thing about my family is that we have two ancestors on my dad’s side who were buried in france, where I currently live. one died in the spanish civil war, and one died prior doing…we don’t know what. but he somehow managed to get buried in père lachaise. 

so anyhow, my gran sends me a message like “pls put flowers on ur uncle samuel’s grave because he’s gone over a century with none and it will make the ghost mad if he hasn’t already” because my family spends time in europe but never long enough to go all the way to père lachaise and give ya boy samuel jr. his death rites. so im like “ok gran I can do that” bc im a good grandson and you do not fuck with gran she doesn’t DESERVE THAT 

i figure out which plot he’s on and ask someone specifically where you can find uncle samuel jr. and they tell me where and so I arrive at the junction and. 

HE GONE. 

WHERE DID YOU GO UNCLE SAMUEL. 

*celine dion’s smash hit “my heart will go on” playing in the distance* 

in other words either someone stole my entire great great uncle samuel or he has risen again, ready to party in paris for all of eternity. 

You’re pretty chill about a corpse disappearing.

My guy, my dude, he’s been dead since 1851. He could be anywhere. He does what he wants.

So when your gran said:

“pls put flowers on ur uncle samuel’s grave because he’s gone over a century with none and it will make the ghost mad if he hasn’t already”

She was right. That was a prophecy. Perhaps she saw it in a dream. His ghost was like, “No flowers for ol’ Samuel, huh? Fine. I’ll just go get some myself!” and just repossessed his old bones and skedaddled right on out of there.

hey my bf and i saw you from across the bar and we'd love to put you on a leash and make you bark

we also think you'd be great to be clicker trained if you're down for that