In my high school English class we read a story about this woman who killed her husband with a frozen lamb leg and then while she was waiting for the cops to come she cooked it and then fed it to them so the murder weapon was gone. I aspire to be that woman.

DID YOU KNOW, HIStory tour 1996/97 MJ refused to have high priced tickets and picked a price of $14.50 and $15.50 per ticket which left him -25 Million in losses on the first leg of the tour. He wanted his fans to have fun, not break the bank.

Angel. Seriously I love and adore the man so much.

i’m officially cancelling cringe culture. it’s over. go enjoy the things you like unabashedly and proudly because life is hard and sometimes things are just nice.

play minecraft. watch doctor who. read homestuck. draw undertale fanart. be a furry. live.

Love yourself. Be kind to others. Enjoy the fuck out of whatever you want.

Perfect

Incase anyone needed this

shoutout to 5th grade me for having a college reading level and apparently using up all future motivation for actual college age me to read what I’m supposed to. you 10 year old asshole

it’s like rock paper scissors: baby oil defeats condom, baby defeats baby oil, condom defeats baby

Lmao this American girl walked up to a Hungry Jacks (Burger King) register with her drink and really, really loudly (I was at the other side of the place) proclaimed: “I asked for Lemonade, you gave me Sprite” in a really bitchy, entitled voice.

The cashier (and everyone within earshot) just looked at her like “the fuck is wrong with you”

In Australia, Sprite IS lemonade as far as we’re concerned.

Enjoy your 90c refund you cheap ass ho.

“Sprite IS lemonade as far as we’re concerned”

@fleamont can you verify?

Yeah this is correct. Lemonade is sprite. Clear fizzy liquid type thing. Solo is closer to what American lemonade is but we don’t actually have what you guys consider lemonade anyway so she was never going to get what she wanted lmao.

Y'ALL AIN’T GOT LEMONADE?!?!??

madness…

“we don’t actually have what you guys consider lemonade“

That entire continent exists on a different realm of existence

What the… Lmao

Why is it called lemonade then? 🤔

@casualswfan What is wrong with you guys?

IT IS THE SAME DAMN THING. You Yankees and your fifty brands of the same :P

LEMONADE AND SPRITE ARE NOTHING ALIKE

Things heating up in the drink fandom

I’m pretty sure the same is true in the UK at least was in 2010 except Sprite didn’t seem to be a common brand so I’d ask for Sprite get blank looks eventually figured out to ask for lemonade 

Sprite is a recognised brand here, but it’s not omnipresent, it is also considered a brand of lemonade.

This is fucked up.

Sprite: lemon-lime soda (pop/carbonated beverage). Lemonade: lemons, water, and sugar. Still.

LEMONADE IS NOT CARBONATED WHATT HEFUCC CK ARE YOU ALL DOIGN

Living? Sensibly?

Also on what planet does Sprite have lime in it.

Sprite, the lemon-lime flavored carbonated beverage, is made on Earth.

Earth is the third planet from the Sun, the densest planet in the Solar System, the largest of the Solar System’s four terrestrial planets, and the only astronomical object known to harbor Sprite.

The people of Earth are known as “Earthlings” or “Spriteloids” interchangeably (although not to each other).

At least in the UK, if you order lemonade you’ll sometimes get Sprite, but if it’s proper it’s a lemon soda akin to the Italian gassosa - less sweet than Sprite.

Oh shit, I’ve had gassosa, it’s AMAZING.

I just want to say that the whole ‘lemonade and Sprite are interchangeable’ is pretty common throughout Asia as well, in my experience

@bre-e-e-e what madness is this?!?!?!?!

@kingkilling-and-stormlight so… what you are all saying is. Lemonade is … not fizzy… in America?

You guys have orange juice at least, right? Grapefruit juice? In the US, Lemonade is a juice, like orange juice, but made with lemons instead of oranges. You can buy “fresh squeezed lemonade” at many restaurants and fast food venues. Typically it’s diluted a bit with sugar water, so the sour flavor of the raw lemon juice isn’t so overpowering. 

In the south, it’s very common for people buy whole lemons and make their own lemonade at home using a citrus juicer.

In Germany, you’d ask for “Limonade” and yeah, you may get a Sprite or a Fanta; it’ll always be a fizzy nonalcoholic drink and usually come in lemon, lime, orange flavor. Only in healthfood or hipster establishments would it ever be an actual juice drink.

As a fan of homemade rosewater lemonade, I am twitching at the thought of sickly sweet carbonated beverages that taste like they were invented by someone who may have been in the same room as a citrus fruit once but can’t remember what it actually tastes like being called lemonade.

Wtf did y'all think beyonce was talking about????

oh wow I hadn’t even considered that. Like millions of people worldwide hearing the album title but not understanding what lemonade means even on the most superficial level.

This is so epically disturbing. Lemonade is such an integral part of spring and summertime. I just … this breaks my brain and my heart. The cultural references too. Just, all the American shows that reference lemonade and people in other countries are thinking Sprite? There’s a reason kids do freshly squeezed lemonade stands. You can’t buy it like that from a store. And there’s nothing quite like screwing it up and getting the sugar ratio wrong. And parents grinning through the too sour or too sweet mess and praising your efforts. Lemonade Is a Thing.

Wait does that mean Aussies make Shandies with sprite?????

Does this mean a significant portion of the global population don’t know what to do when life hands you lemons?

Yes, Australians make Shandies with our carbonated soft drink lemonade, though if you’re using it as a mixer, you’re less likely to be using Sprite and more likely to be using Schweppes, which looks like this:

Like. We absolutely have a concept of flat, juice-based lemonade, but as an earlier commenter said, it’s a niche hipster speciality rather than the default, and even then, it’s still going to be premade rather than fresh. 

OH GOD THAT’S WHY AMERICAN CHILDREN CAN MAKE IT AND SELL IT SO EASILY. I ALWAYS WONDERED HOW KIDS COULD MAKE A CARBONATED DRINK AT HOME.

Reblogging for Beyonce. This thread is gold.

@cresselian

I just realized I haven’t told you guys about how 3rd President of the United States Thomas Jefferson haunts my dorm room.

Okay so basically at the beginning of the year, weird shit began happening in our dorm room, me and my roommate would hear/see things, TVs and phones and computers would start on there own and do other weird things. 

We decided jokingly that the room was haunted and named the ghost Jeff and even made it a door tag. 

Me and my roommate began to notice a trend it the activity of “Jeff” He always seemed to act up most when I talked shit about Thomas Jefferson or James Madison’s personality/policies/etc. 

We began to joke that it was Thomas Jefferson or James Madison (hell we even joked it might be Dolley)

Well the other day, our ghost confirmed himself as “Thomas Jefferson.” 

After a particularly rude attack on Thomas Jefferson character (I claimed the best thing he ever did was die.) A fucking giant ass jumbo size box of Mac and Cheese fell off of the tallest shelf in our dorm room. 

I’m talking one of these babies but it’s like a 20 pack. To me it’s obviously that this is obviously proof that “inventor” of mac and cheese, 3rd President of the United States who was born and died in Virginia travelled to Upstate New York in an area he never even came close to in his life to haunt my dorm 

My roommate is not convinced though: She still thinks it could be James Madison. 

But a Madison-sized ghost couldn’t have reached the mac and cheese (We conducted an experiment to see if Madison would have been able to reach it when he was only 5′4″ and being 5′4″, I couldn’t even reach it jumping up and down.)

So yes, me and my roommate have proved undeniable that Thomas Jefferson haunts our dorm room.

Also she pointed out that we randomly named the ghost “Jeff” which is pretty fucking close to Jefferson. Coincidence? OBVIOUSLY NOT.

“But a Madison-sized ghost couldn’t have reached the mac and cheese” 

I’m so glad I was alive to see this sentence written.

Why were you regularly shit talking founding fathers tho

I’m a salty U.S. History Major, that’s why

This is the quality content I signed up for

American Horror Story: Sims

The “Magic Mirror”

欲しい。商品化しないかな・・・。

This is super cool but it doesn’t include the text instructions! Here’s the original imgur gallery with some comments on each image, and here is a detailed tutorial that the creator made (he also made the code free to use on his github) in case you want to make one yourself!

HOLY SHIT

wtf

His some future shit

I gotta get this in my mancave

+Phantom Traveler+

Once you’ve earned his loyalty, there is nothing a dragon won’t do for you.