i also feel like people don't really understand the meaning of the word "developmental" in "developmental disability"
it means you did not develop as abled people typically do, physically or mentally
there are adults who do not have the skills you expect adults to have, who do not react or feel the way you expect adults to react or feel, who cannot live alone or be alone, who need supervision to not walk into the road, who cannot do things you can
and they are still adults
but they are also developmentally disabled
dd adults may have screaming, crying, self harming meltdowns over things you think are "little" or "immature". dd adults may have interests like stuffed animals and coloring books and toys. we may read children's books and watch children's shows, and i mean for like, young children, not like the owl house (because idk modern young kids shows besides paw patrol and is bubble guppies still on), and this is not like, caregivers infantilizing us or encouraging us to be kids forever, it's because that's what we like or are able to understand. and this does not have anything to do with "mental age". there are dd people who are like this and i will defend them claw and tooth.
we may have caregivers and may need constant supervision. we may be short, we may have baby faces, our voice may not have changed since we were a child, or we may use a more childish tone of voice and it is not because of osddid
we may have issues with motor skills and proprioception and incontinence, we may not be able to understand process comprehend absorb, we may not be able to learn certain things or may struggle to learn in general, we may have issues understanding boundaries consequences good and bad and theory of mind. we may do things impulsively (which crosses over with not understanding boundaries consequences good and bad and theory of mind i think). our brains may decide things around us- people, walls, pets, roads, curbs, cliffs, puddles, a spilled drink- don't exist, or may not be able to define what those things are and apply that knowledge, by which i mean, not understanding that a road is dangerous, or that if you spill a drink on your phone it's bad for it and you need to clean it up
our brains may start two processes at once and then cancel them both at the same time only after they have both been run, which is the only way i can explain the way my brain just u turns and it makes me look weird and i don't remember exactly what that means because i'm significantly fucking disoriented when it happens so i have no examples. we may "manipulate" people without understanding that's what we're doing and idk how to explain that either. we may lie, also, without knowing what we're doing. we may respond just to respond because our brains understand "when someone says something to you you need to respond to them" and then it doesn't prioritize making sense or having our response be actually related
we may not have empathy, or limited empathy, and may not be able to understand how to interact with people who are currently expressing a specific emotion. we may not be able to figure out what emotions other people are expressing, or intuit what people may want or expect from us. we also may not be able to or may not know how to express emotion ourselves, or not be able to figure out what we're feeling, or may feel one emotion and express another. we also just flat out may not fucking feel, or may feel things, like affection for a friend, shallowly- it's there, but we don't feel it strongly. we may also get bored of or annoyed with loved ones. and we may be easily angered and annoyed and frustrated and have no patience
we may be nonverbal or semiverbal. we may have trouble communicating and may repeat ourselves and may get impatient about it and may point or act frustrated when the other person doesn't understand. we may need things to be a certain way and then not be able to communicate this and have a meltdown about it. we may not be able to articulate the way we need to and therefore may be easier to misinterpret when you don't have the patience to not immediately assume malicious intent and try to work with us to figure out how to help us or what we're saying. we may only speak a few sentences at a time or only a few words or may only speak in quotes from a special interest. we may make noises like grunting or long drawn out moaning or groaning or droning noises. we may suddenly scream or yell or shout when talking and it's not because we're trying to. we may stim violently. we may suddenly be unable to talk. most people know that one, but. we also may issues with like... forgiving people
we're still adults, but we are also disabled and it does influence our behavior and body language and tone of voice and communication and how we socialize and interact with other people and think and feel and express those feelings and if we can and how we do it and if we feel or care at all and how we handle that too, what we're able to do and how we do it and how much help we need and what we need help with, what we like and don't like and how we handle liking and not liking, what we say and do, and how we move and how well we're able to move and how aware of our bodies and surroundings and other people we are, because all of these are things you pick up in development
and if you comment on this that any of these are symptoms of something else i'm going to really blow my top. yes i know i've listed symptoms of other things in here. lack of empathy is not solely a symptom of aspd and suddenly getting annoyed at people you love isn't solely a symptom of bpd. a lot of these are also symptoms of brain damage and schizophrenia and dissociation and neurological disabilities. and i want to argue that's because most of those things are also things that affect development, but not inherently. i'm tired i would like to do something else now
