For those of you reading my first fanfic, Clearer View, Iâm aware of how bad the angst has been. This is meant for laughs, and is completely unrelated.
Ok, so I am blaming this crack!fic 100% on @lasthourstid whose incorrect quote was the breeding ground for this, and who said they would read it if I wrote it. I hope youâre happy.
Background for this that Iâm not writing because it would be too much like plot, but makes this all the more funnier, (I think): Jem is a really famous violinist, like YoYoMa levels of fame, but Will is stubborn and likes to be independent so he keeps to his own finances mostly, because he doesnât want Jem to be a sugar daddy. Tessa is stubborn too, but less stubborn than Will is.
âI could be a prostituteâ Will stated bleakly while checking his bank account balance on his phone. âI would even be good at it. Iâm handsome, funny, and good in bed. Thatâs all there is to it, right?â The question was directed to Jem, who was sitting across the table from him.
âYouâre forgetting one thing, which you certainly donât possess,â Jem commented dryly. âCommon sense.â
Will ignored him and continued rambling. âAnd you and Tessa wouldnât have to be jealous, it would be just business.â
âI think Tessa might have something to say about that Will. Why donât you ask her.â
Will glanced at Jem. In a teasing tone he asked, âNot you though?â with a small smile on his face.
âYou can tease and flirt all you want Will,â Jem remarked as he put down the newspaper he was reading. âBut we both know that you arenât going to do any such thing. And itâs always my bed you sleep in, regardless. Why would I be jealous?â
Will blushed, a sight rarely seen. âBut I would be good at it.â he said in a protesting tone. âBesides, I need the money. Iâm broke.â The last sentence was said wryly.
âIf you hadnât bought that first edition Tale of Two Cities you wouldnât be.â
âBut it was a gift for Tessa!â
âBe honest, it was as much a gift for you as it was for her.â
âWell, maybe.â Will drew out the maybe so it lasted for 10 seconds.
âAnyway Will, you arenât really broke. You just wonât be able to buy coffee at that cafe you like everyday for the next month.â
âYes, which is torture.â
Tessa came in from the bedroom, hair still damp from her shower. âWhatâs torture?â she asked, kissing Will on the head as she passed by him on the way to the coffee pot, and then Jem.
Jem was the one to answer while Will was pouting. âNot being able to buy coffee for the next month from the cafe.â He said this very dryly.
âOh, that again. Will, as much as I love the copy you found me, you didnât need to buy it.â Tessa scolded Will over her shoulder while pouring her coffee into her mug.
âBut it was your birthday! I wanted to get you something special.â
âAnything from you and Jem would have been something special Will. You two would give it with love.â Tessa walked back over from the counter to sit next to Will, perching herself on the edge of the table.â
âAsk him what his solution was. Trust me, youâll enjoy this.â Jem said with a smirk audible in his voice.
âWill?â Tessa had a curious look on her face.
â...â All of his bravado from earlier was gone in the face of Tessa.
âWhat was that, I couldnât quite hear you with the mumbling.â
â...said I could become a prostitute.â Will said under his breath, decidingly not looking at Tessa as he said it.
Tessa tried to hide her grin under her mug. âI donât think so. I would respect any choices you make of course, as would Jem, Iâm sure,â she said tossing a look at Jem behind her, âbut I would be entirely too jealous to share you with anyone besides us.â
âI did tell you she would have something to say about it.â Jem had picked up his newspaper again and was flipping through it.
Tessa made an observation, looking at Will. âYou are pretty enough to be a trophy husband though.â she said idlily.
Will squawked while Jem burst out laughing. âTess!â Will finally spluttered out.
âWhat?â she gave him an innocent look that fooled no one.
oh my THIS IS FKN ADORABLE I LOVE IT. HERONGRAYSTAIRS NATION RISE!!!!!!! đ„°đ„°đ„°
