you're NOT born gay, for the last time. you CHOSE that when you listen to chocolate by the 1975, colours by halsey and sweater weather by the neighborhood when you were 12 in 2015

if you call women “females” i automatically do not trust or like you

you really wont like the military then buddy

jokes on you, i already hate the military

no language should be mocked other than french

Birds is “oiseaux” in French.

No letter is pronunced the way it should.

And there are seven of them.

ITS PRONOUNCED “WAZO” AND YES, I WILL DIE MAD ABOUT IT

oiseaux hits every vowel in the french alphabet and manages to only be pronounced with 2 goddamn syllables

got vowels coming out the oiseaux

Y'all think being in a goth relationship means wearing white makeup together but Mary Shelley lost her virginity on her mother’s grave so maybe step it up.

Mary Shelley carried her husband’s heart around and lived in a crypt after he died. No one will ever be as goth as Mary Shelley.

She also wasn’t carrying around, like, a mummified heart. Her husband’s heart had calcified, meaning it had grown bone within itself and possibly around itself, and it is this heart of bone which she carried. When she was young she carried it wrapped in a silk pouch, and when older it was kept in her desk, wrapped in a page from his poem Adonais. Adonais was one of his last poems, in which a deceased poet’s subjects (nature, Spring, the stars) mourn him, and long to join him in death. Then the narrator tells them do not mourn, for he has gone beyond where the minds and emotions of humans matter, to the Natural Spirit that is the source of all beauty.

Of his poems, it is this which she wrapped his heart in. There is none. more. goth.

It’s sad to realize that peak goth was hit so long ago

i’m not gonna kill myself because if my depression wants me dead THAT badly it’s gonna have to start shutting my fucking organs down like a REAL disease instead of being a fucking pussy and hiding in my brain and trying to get ME to do it’s dirty work for it !

Important.

ONE OF OUR INSTRUCTORS ACCIDENTALLY GOT PAID $787,000 THIS MONTH IM WHEEZING, OMFG PAYROLL

A PAYROLL EMPLOYEE ENTERED 123 INSTEAD OF 1 SO HE GOT PAID 123 TIMES WHAT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO

this is the rare $786,708 payday. reblog to receive more money than you were expecting on your next paycheck 💫

uh, you cant sit with us

actually MEGAN i cant sit anywhere. i have

me if i was a youtuber

california? you mean the place in the red hot chili peppers songs? you know that’s not real right?

we are in the barn

amonge the barn citizens … undetected

Pictures of Bernie Sanders from his younger days. The 2nd is of him holding his son during a meeting in 1971 with colleagues from The Vermont Freeman in Burlington.

This is how you should ask trans and non-binary people about their identity 

YOURE DOING SO WELL SWEETIE IM SO PROUD OF YOU

This is cute

why is this sentence written with such perfect comedic timing

hey my friends and I just all remembered the disney channel original movie “Luck of the Irish” exists so we found it and watched it (don’t do this) and it’s four messes and a half but at the end the main character challenges the enemy leprechaun to a wager and says “if you lose, you’ll be banished to the land of my father, to spend eternity on the shores of Eerie” and the bad guy corrects him and says “Éire,” thinking he’d mispronounced the Gaeilge for Ireland,

and when he loses he’s like “I’m going back to my homeland, and I’ll gain power once again!” and the main character is like “no. My MOTHER is from Ireland. My dad’s from Cleveland.”

and the bad guy gets banished to live on the shores of Lake Eerie in Ohio forever and I’ve been thinking about that for like two weeks now

okay I’m just going to discuss this movie a little more because there’s a lot to say,

starting with: as the character begins his slow coming-of-age transformation into a leprechaun, he attends an Irish Heritage festival, where during a dance performance, he starts step dancing against his will. The entire scene is 100% framed exactly like a werewolf transformation scene, but with Irish Dance.

Absolutely no attempts were made to teach the actor a single actual step of any existing dance.

The plot begins with the main character’s school throwing a Heritage Day festival, and everyone is Extremely Focused on the fact that he doesn’t know where his family came from. He starts asking his parents, and they treat it like he’s figuring out they have mafia connections.

In terror, they repeatedly tell him “we’re from Cleveland!”

If they tell him one of his ancestors are from Ireland, it’s just too likely he’ll make the immediate leap to realizing he and his mom are literally leprechauns wearing glamours, as most Americans of Irish descent turn out to be,

It later turns out his mom has spent so long hiding all of this from him because she’s terrified that if anyone finds out she’s from Ireland, they’ll be discriminated against. The main character says “didn’t that only happen like, over a hundred years ago.”

Also they are established as having terrifying, unrivaled magical powers, like shapeshifting, time travel, and the ability to shift between planes, but the, and I quote, “Irish need not apply” signs in 1906 were apparently a really big problem despite all that.

Bringing us to the fact that his mom, and presumably he, are immortal. He never asks about this.

A lot of people compare this movie to “The Thirteenth Year,” another disney channel original, in which the main character finds out he’s been a mermaid all along and must reunite with his birth mother in the ocean, and I’d like to argue that that is an actually GOOD movie whereas “The Luck of the Irish” should have been left in the bowels of my past.

in conclusion,

i’m not gonna kill myself because if my depression wants me dead THAT badly it’s gonna have to start shutting my fucking organs down like a REAL disease instead of being a fucking pussy and hiding in my brain and trying to get ME to do it’s dirty work for it !

on sight