Hi :)

You are one of the only people I really see on here that posts anything about ashton/laudna (and your posts always make me laugh) and I was wondering when you first started shipping the two of them?

Personally, I started to become fond of their relationship in episode 2 when Laudna first introduced Pate to the group. Ashton was so entertained and expressed his interest and how he never wanted it to end. It stood out to me that everyone else was in a way holding back (or outwardly expressing) their discomfort, with Imogen even saying that she never got used to it, even after two years of traveling together. It made me happy that Laudna had at least one person in the group who wasn't immediately put off by her creepy nature. Ashton and Laudna were already two of my favorite characters and I love their dynamic.

I also never really understood why this ship is not as popular as some of the other ships. I'm not bashing other ships at all, but the disinterest in this relationship is interesting when looking at it through the lens of someone who has been shipping them most of the time. idk it just makes sense to me.

i just love how surprisingly honest and healthy their relationship is and I just wanted to know your thoughts.

TLDR: I would love to know when you started shipping Ashton and Laudna and some of your general thoughts on their realtionship? Love the posts <3

Oh this is so sweet!! I’m glad my tomfoolery makes you laugh <3 

As for when I started shipping them, that was way back in March of this year (I rarely start shipping characters right away, hella impressed how early you were on this shit), I had enjoyed their dynamic before that but what really got me on board with them as a ship was this post by svartalfhild (which they’ve expanded on since initial posting). They did a great job articulating and consolidating everything I like about Ashton/Laudna 😊 

As for what /I/ like about them personally, that includes the whole Brick Shithouse/Breakable Bird-Boned Waif dynamic, most recently highlighted in the latest episode of Ashton (the barbarian) making sure to look out for Laudna (the squishy spellcaster) during the fight with Werewolf Chetney  I also enjoy their contrasting personalities. Ashton’s exterior is very rough but actually has a heart of gold, while Laudna is the outwardly happy-go-lucky type but has a lot of darkness hiding behind that bubbly exterior. Neither shy away from the other’s interior or exterior and I feel like they help bring their more hidden aspects out of each other for the better  They both have a similar background of “physically fucked up after traumatic experience” (I even made a meme about that lol) which I think gives them a pretty unique point of common ground  Something you talked about was how Ashton genuinely enjoys who fucking weird and out there Laudna is, with Pate being a great of that. While everyone is horrified or just put off by something Laudna created as a coping mechanism to keep herself going crazy with loneliness, Ashton thinks it’s incredible, exemplified by him getting Pate a suit and never hesitating to interact directly with Pate  And something I mentioned to a friend a couple months back was how Ashton is touch adverse (this was before we knew about his chronic pain), whereas Laudna likes to be physically close with others. Ashton only seemed to be ok with physical touch when it’s violent, ie not wanting a massage at the spa but diving head first into a fight at the Ball, so I figured Laudna being so touchy feely would be great in getting Ashton to accept positive physical touch. But then even after learning that his touch-aversion is the result of chronic pain from his Kintsugi scars, I still think Laudna could be a positive source of physical touch for him since her cold dead skin could bring some pain relief for him 

So yeah while this isn’t /everything/ I like about their relationship and dynamic (I’m not the best at right meta or articulating my thoughts like this lol), these are definitely some of the main things I love about them 😊 

I am hoping as more time passes and Ashton and Laudna have more moments together, more people will catch on to them and join in on this fun little ship, I think the lack of interest or just general awareness stems from a lot of attention being focused elsewhere   Tho by-gods am I going to annoy this fandom with my Tombstone shenanigans and maybe even pspsps a few into joining us 😁    But anyway, I’m so glad you like my shitposts (even the ridiculously cringy ones 😁) and here’s to The Punk King and Undead Goth Queen of our hearts🖤 

#2 of the prompts!

While they all rest up at an inn, Laudna walks by Ashton’s room as they are taking off their shirt after they just finished a [silly/could have avoided this-but some snobby idiot just HAD to provoke Chetney] battle and is curious about the gold-filled cracks along his body. She asks him his permission to touch them , and after a moment, Ashton carefully says okay.

Could be GraveStone, could be just a gruff, tough, and buff friend letting their sweet and spooky friend gently touch their scars out of concern + curiosity, could be both.

2. "Are you okay?"

It took some effort from Imogen and Orym, but at last, the bar fight was brought to an end. The place was a mess, and the staff looked rather put out by the whole thing, but thankfully Bells Hells' good standing with the owner prevented them from being thrown out along with the provokers. This was lucky, considering Chetney's refusal to give up his stream of colourful threats until the idiot who had provoked him was out of the building.

Ashton, who had received quite a beating in the midst of all this, grumbled about getting cleaned up and went up to their room. FCG went around checking if anyone needed help and healed a nasty bruise on Fearne's arm. Imogen and Orym dutifully helped clean up and prodded Chetney into properly apologizing to the owner for the big ruckus. Laudna was mostly alright and mended a couple chairs before heading up to her room, having had enough shenanigans for one night.

On her way down the hall, her eye caught movement in the gap of a slightly open door, and she stopped. She could see Ashton gritting his teeth as he unbuckled and pulled off his leather jacket, fully revealing the sprawling tapestry of golden scars across his muscular green torso. He was...captivating to look at, and she caught herself staring, but now was not the time for that. He was clearly in pain.

"Ashton? Are you okay?" she called out cautiously, slowly pushing the door further open. He looked over to her, seemingly unbothered by her presence, and held her gaze for a moment before answering.

"Define okay." Laudna came further into the room at this, rubbing her hands together in nervous awkwardness.

"You got kinda fucked up downstairs. Do you need FCG?"

"Nah, they've done plenty for me already. I'll be fine," Ashton answered with a shrug. A lot of the blood on them seemed to either not be theirs or was not coming from an open wound at this point, so Laudna was convinced, but she continued to stare. "Is there something else you wanted?"

"Sorry, I was just...your scars. They're very pretty."

"Oh." Clearly they hadn't expected that, as they raised their eyebrows and then furrowed them. "Thank you...I guess."

"Would it be alright if I...?" Laudna trailed off as she took a few steps closer and extended a hand to demonstrate her intent. There was another pause as Ashton considered this request, and eventually he gave his answer in a surprisingly soft tone.

"Yeah, go ahead." They stood still for her as she approached and began to carefully trace her spindly fingers over the golden pathways across their skin. They had a unique feeling to them, indented in some places and raised in others, but always very smooth.

"Do they ever hurt?" Laudna asked. She knew it had been several years since Ashton had acquired these scars, so they might feel like nothing, but she knew all too well the potential lasting effect of scars.

"Always."

"Always?" She withdrew her hand, wide-eyed at this news.

"You don't have to stop," Ashton assured her, gently taking her hand and returning it to his chest. She gave a small gasp and he smiled. "The cold is a little soothing actually." Well, that was certainly the most unexpected thing he'd said thus far, but she heeded him and cautiously continued to explore his scars, taking in their sad beauty.

"I'm sorry if I've ever hurt you with my tactile habits." She internally cringed at the memories of throwing her arms around Ashton and of smushing the side of her head against theirs.

"I don't mind if it's you. I like you."

"Oh." Laudna let out a relieved little laugh, which Ashton seemed to find endearing.

"And I get it. You want to feel something." She had never considered this before, but now that they said it, she knew they were right. She craved sensation, because she felt so little these days. That was the terrible irony of her curious nature. She was so eager to know, but had a muted ability to experience.

"Yes." She met Ashton's gaze, and he put his hand over hers once more, holding it against him. He was so pleasantly warm that she found herself wishing he'd pull her into his arms and envelope her.

"Then you can understand why I'd be willing to endure a lot more to feel something other than pain." He moved her hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to her palm, not breaking eye contact with her for even a second, and a shiver shot down her spine.

"Yes. I think...maybe we can help each other," she quietly, stepping closer, so that they were only a few inches apart now. He slid his arm around her, bringing her the rest of the way, and she settled into him, resting her head against his chest. After a moment, she placed a light kiss on one of his scars. "I'm sorry for your pain all the same," she murmured, and he held her tighter.

Do you think that most people don’t ship Laudna with Ashton because they desire explicitly queer or homosexual relationships portrayed and even though Ashton is he/they, Ashton is still voiced by a man and “acts like” a masculine man, that somehow reads that Laudna and he/they would be in a “heterosexual” relationship?

I ask because it seems like the official reason “reason” for not shipping Ashna is pretty flimsy (“Oh, they only give off brother/sister/sibling vibes” well yeah but Laudna’s relationship with Imogen could also be read as sisterly)

People also seem to ignore that even if Laudna is bi/pan/demi, so far the main targets of her possible romantic/crush/dating interests were described as or shown to be male or mostly male presenting.

Therefore, they shouldn’t see it as out of left field if some fans ship Laudna/Dorian, Laudna/Ashton, Laudna/Eshteross, Laudna/Whitestone Andy, Laudna/Pretty, Laudna/Minotaur Dude in addition to or instead of Laudna/Imogen, Laudna/Fearne, and Laudna/Imogen/Fearne, etc. (No Laudna/Chetney because our gnome-wolf is too devoted to his Fae-Lady to consider anyone else 😆). Nor should they claim queer baiting of Laudna does wind up with someone other than Imogen (weirdly enough, that term is thrown around even if the character’s official love interest isn’t a member of the opposite sex just because they didn’t end up with the preferred same-sex person)

I dunno. Just curious. At the end of the day, people have the freedom to ship whatever they want because that’s what they like; I’m just tired of some of the more annoying shippers trying to force their own ship on others and be offended if someone else prefers a different ship.

Sorry for the rant.

No it's okay, Anon; I get you.

I certainly think a perception of Ashna as a het relationship could be a contributing factor to many people's disinterest in it. There is a pervasive notion in fandom culture of certain things not being "queer enough" along very predictable lines that reflect discourses in the queer community at large. As an ace demigirl, I am deeply familiar with this problem.

Ashton's gender is unspecified, but we know he's nonbinary because he's a he/they, but because he presents in a masculine way and is comfortable with he/him, this places him in a weird "not a pure nonbinary" box in people's minds because he doesn't fit the fully androgynous image people have of nb people. As result of being "nb lite", his potential relationship with a female character is seen as a m/f ship, and therefore once again "not queer enough" to be interesting. (Side note: Taliesin has talked about genderqueer experiences before, so I hesitate to assume he's a cis man, but his masculine presentation is certainly an aspect of people's perception of Ashton.)

I do see a lot of Im*dna shippers talking about how they perceive Ashton and Laudna as a sibling type relationship, and you're right, people could easily read it the other way around. I definitely perceive Imogen and Laudna as a sisterly best friend relationship and Ashton and Laudna (especially Ashton's attentions to Laudna) as hinting at romantic interest. It troubles me that so many people take the attitude that there's only one correct way to look at it, even though there has been no confirmation of anything and we're all floating in the soup of ambiguity.

The notion that it'll be queerbaiting if Laudna ends up with someone other than Imogen (esp. if said someone is masc) is fucking ridiculous, and I severely need people to check the definition of queerbaiting. Someone already did a good post on the notion of queerbaiting in CR, so I won't rehash all the points, but yeah, there very much is this implied idea of certain outcomes not being queer enough to be appealing or even acceptable.

Ashton queers everything they touch just by being themself, but again, because they present in a masc way, any ships with female characters get categorized as het and thereby disregarded.

Then there's the matter of Laudna's sexuality, which is unknown, but we do know that she's attracted to men and isn't categorically opposed to the attentions of a nonbinary person. We don't know if she's attracted to women, but it's certainly possible. The notion of Laudna as mspec and/or aspec in a relationship with a masc character seems to not be queer enough for a lot of people (especially the latter, but that's a whole other essay), as it is perceived as "basically het" and somehow queerbaiting. This is kinda bringing me back to the days of Campaign 1 and the huge fit people threw over Vaxilmore vs. Vaxleth, calling it queerbaiting and homophobic, despite the fact that Vax is bi and Keyleth is demi, so there was no actual loss of queer rep (not to mention the fact that the people who play those characters aren't straight).

Long story short, there's a lot of unexamined and unspoken biased against nbs, mspecs, and aspecs in the way people perceive and talk about character relationships because of the pervasive idea that these identities don't provide good enough queer representation, especially among main characters. I think that could definitely be a strong contributing factor in people's unwillingness to consider and leave room for the possibility of a Laudna and Ashton ending up together.

The fact that there is a SEVERE lack of Ashton x Laudna headcanons/support after this recent episode PAINS ME.

Come on!

The emotionally charged insistence to be willing to do ANYTHING to bring her back?

The clear reluctance of leaving her when others called for help?

The continual quietly bringing up seeking out the person who already “owns” him because of their debt because he’s perfectly happy to get even deeper if it means they can see Laudna as a living and happy person again?

I could go on, but there is SO MUCH breadcrumbs Talisen is feeding the critters that is going ignored!

It doesn’t help that last night Ihad a dream that Ashton is finally confessing to Laudna of their feelings and it’s so painfully sweet and romantic and heartfelt, only she gets a little distracted because she somehow can turn invisible now and she’s super excited about it, and while Ashton is jokingly wondering to himself why they are in love with this goofball, she surprises him with a little kiss on the lips and wanders off giggling to show everyone else her new trick, while Ashton is hilariously rooted to the spot staring after her, his lips curiously dyed a similar dark inky color to Laudna’s magic goop 😅

I feel you, Anon. I think a lot of people are too focused on Laudna's bond with Imogen to consider Ashton, who so obviously cares deeply about Laudna in ways he doesn't about any of the other Bells Hells, even FCG, whom he's known the longest. He goes out of his way to look out for her. He pays attention to her. He always notices when she's having a hard time and tries to help her. He tells her he likes her, all of her, and has made that clear repeatedly since day one.

All of that is remarkable enough, considering Ashton's attitudes towards attachment and most other people generally, but their reaction to Laudna's death is truly significant and revealing. This crotchety, abrasive punk, who went through so much to get free of Hexum, said they would be happy to be immediately plunged back into debt if it would save Laudna's life, without a moment's hesitation. They are desperate not to lose her. "We will fucking fix this." You could not have a clearer indication that Laudna means the world to them. God the "tell Hexum I will doing anything" fucking broke me.

I'm also kind of obsessed with how Ashton's behaviour runs parallel to Imogen's. Imogen is the recognized Closest Person To Laudna™, but so much of Ashton's behaviour shows he's just as devastated as her, though he processes it differently. I think the best moment that illustrates that is when he wants to put her in the hole to protect her body and Imogen snaps at him to carry her. He's thinking of the most practical way to keep Laudna's body from harm, because the more quickly and efficiently he can handle everything, then the faster Laudna can be saved, but Imogen's thinking of it as undignified, Laudna's body deserving more than to be thrown in a hole. And then Ashton sees Imogen's point immediately and carries Laudna without argument, because they both want Laudna to have everything she is due. And neither of them wanna leave her. And oh man the bit where Ashton asked Imogen to trust them, like they're asking her if she trusts that they'll do anything for Laudna and never do anything to intentionally hurt or disrespect her.

I super need to see Ashton contribute to Laudna getting resurrected, because I very much want to hear what he'd have to say to her to coax her soul back to her body.

Anyway! Thank you for popping in, Anon. That's a lovely dream and I severely hope we get to see some cute moments with them in the future.

17. Feel any Better? semi-GraveStone: *after ep 34* in which FCG notices Ashton’s more than usually tense attitude while they are on the ship, so offers to lend their best friend the wooden emotion clock Chetney made them so that Ashton can have a moment to address what they are feeling and why he is feeling this way.

Fresh Cut Grass cared very much about all their friends, especially Ashton, and it had not escaped their notice that he was particularly out of sorts following everything that had happened in Bassuras. Some of their friends seemed to be having trouble eating and sleeping enough, and a few were disinclined to speak, but Ashton demonstrated all of these things in a pronounced way. FCG hadn't witnessed him eating or sleeping at all aboard the ship, and when he spoke, he seemed far more blunt and irritable than usual.

To a certain degree, this was all very understandable. They had just been through something terrible, and they had lost Laudna, but FCG had never known Ashton to care so loudly before, and they wanted to understand, to help ease their friend's emotional burden.

"Ashton?" he called one afternoon as he rolled into Ashton's cabin, his gift from Chetney tucked under one arm. The genasi looked over with a tired, annoyed expression, but otherwise gave no acknowledgement. "Smiley day!"

"Smiley fucking day. What do you want, Letters?" At this, FCG came further into the room and Ashton sat up in his bunk.

"You seem troubled-"

"Yeah, it's almost like somebody died."

"-and I thought since you often have difficulty processing your emotions, we could work through it with this, and hopefully get you feeling a little better." FCG held up the wooden emotion clock, and Ashton fixed them with a slightly scathing look of doubt.

"The only thing that's going to make me feel better is bringing Laudna back and putting my hammer through Otohan Thull's ribcage."

"Okay, well, let's talk about that. Clearly Otohan makes you feel anger." FCG moved the hand of the clock to the red shape labeled "angry". "Now, what does losing Laudna make you feel?" He held the clock closer to Ashton, who continued to seem more put out than motivated to cooperate.

"There aren't enough hands on this clock for that answer."

"Alright, well, maybe just put the hand at the strongest thing your feeling." There was a brief pause as Ashton eyed FCG petulantly before sighing and moving the arrow to the blue shape labeled "sad". "Okay. How did Laudna make you feel when she was alive?" Ashton seemed to think a great deal about this and moved the hand slowly. He paused for the briefest microsecond on the pink shape Chetney had labeled "horny" before moving on and eventually stopping at the orange "worried" shape. "Why'd she make you worried?"

"She's got some kind of fucked up voice in her head that definitely doesn't have her best interests at heart."

"And you want her to be happy?"

"Yeah, I s'pose so."

"Is that because what she really makes you feel is happy?" This question seemed to hit something tender in Ashton, but instead of lashing out like he usually did at such things, he hung his head and sagged his broad shoulders.

"Yeah," he answered with a sort of gruff resignation in his deep voice, pressing his forehead into his hands.

"Then you'll be here again." FCG moved the hand of the clock to the green "happy" shape. "Because we're gonna get her back, right?" Ashton looked up at the clock with glistening eyes and gave a sad laugh.

"Yeah."

"Feel any better?"

"I dunno. Maybe."