Their cat: I know, it’s nice isn’t it

if a hot evil villain tried to seduce me to the dark side i would simply say fuck yes

my cat after i come home and immediately pick him up and swing him around calling him a fat little baby

Remind Yourself;

We’re cuddling on the couch. It’s too narrow for us to lay side by side so I’m laying directly on top of you. I’m clinging to you with my hands behind your head and fingers intertwined in your hair. My arms fell asleep long ago but I don’t mind. I drift to sleep to the sound of you’re soft snoring. We’re both happy.

im translating russian memes for practice and i... theyre so fucking funny

me: *flips pillow over to the cold side and goes back to sleep*

nurse who's been watching me in a coma for the past 5 years:

I thought of texting you “good morning, I can’t sleep” and then I remembered that you are on a journey which I am not a part of and that’s okay but good morning I can’t sleep

aside from the fact that i’m a little f*cked up and have bad anxiety, i’m lit.

If someone who IDs as gay/lesbian says they’re sometimes attracted to other genders don’t yell at them they’re “actually bi”.

If someone who IDs as bi says they have a preference for the same or another gender don’t yell at them they’re “actually gay/straight”.

You’re not in their head and don’t get to tell them what label fits them best.

I can’t wait to see you and wrap my arms around you

masturbation never breaks your heart.

a bitch just wanna watch horror films & be held, u know?

where my sleepy girls at

In bed

I was talking to a kid in my daughter’s class today, and she said that she thought it would be fun to write a story about the Titanic, but with supernatural creatures.

So I said, “Yeah, that would great! What would the creatures do? Would they save the Titanic from sinking?”

And she gave me the most disgusted look. I have never seen a 9 year old face look so appalled.

“No,” she said, speaking very clearly so as to never be so grossly misunderstood again, “they’re going to eat the passengers.”

God I hope she lets me read it.