Carnivals of Silverfish

Been thinking alot about deathpreg lately

It's the last sentence that makes this one of the funniest drils of all time

Cackling.

In case the original goes away:

Text version:

Washington State Department of Natural resources tweets:

(Falling to my knees, begging, pleading)

Please.

Folks, seriously.

PLEASE.

Do not - and I can’t emphasize this enough - set the state on fire this weekend.

Fire danger is abnormally high this holiday weekend.

URGING you to consider firework alternatives:

- screaming “bang! boom!” at the sky

- dropping a stack of large books on the floor

- wrapping a toga around a candle

- play America the Beautiful while combining Coke and Mentos

there is not one name on this list that isn’t a lifetime achievement of fucking

This guy fucked.

"sexually conflicted" he doesn't seem conflicted about it at all

glorious tag thank you @howdidyouallgetinmyroom​

i read the hobbit in 3rd grade and i thought it was really lame. however i liked bilbo baggins for some reason and i was fully convinced he was some sort of rabbit/mouse thing until i saw the lotr movies and was really, really confused

a nightingale is singing, and singing, and singing

it also made me very sad at one point one of the kids said her dad was being hateful towards drag queens and that he had a very skewed/incorrect view of what a drag queen was and wouldnt listen to her and told her she was “too naive” when she tried to explain

and i replied “if i remember correctly when youre at this age it seems adults will wave off any of your life experiences even if they lack their own because they refuse to see those younger than them as their own people” and EVERY SINGLE KID AT THE TABLE turned and said EXACTLY

and i was like. oh. so i wasnt alone in that. but also. i dont have to BE that. im not doing that. im listening and actually talking to them. i hope that there are older people in their life doing the same.

um. i dont know how to say. please listen to the children in your life. its true sometimes youll know better but, often times they have perspectives we may miss and dismissing them hurts everyone in the end. we have so much we can share and learn together.

Yes it’s very important for solidarity with workers but, and maybe this is an unpopular opinion, workers should have solidarity with poor customers. Like ignore shoplifting, be sensitive when ppl are using EBT cards, that kinda thing.

If you work retail and you worry about shoplifters I beg you to remember how little money you’re being paid to do this

and also no matter what your boss says to you, someone shoplifting will not cause your wages to be docked. if it DOES, then you can get in contact with a labor attourney, who will proceed to light up like a kid at christmas because they (and you) are about to get a big fat payday. that shit is ridiculously illegal.

So many ppl adding shit like this to this post. Trying to differentiate who it’s ok to snitch on and who isn’t. And I want to tell you right now, being rich and stealing is not the problem. Snitching is the problem. It’s always bad. I have more in common with some rich teen shoplifting Claire’s than I have with the employee who snitches on them.

use the balm. what for? so many questions- I’ll do it for you.

GAP THE SERIES | EP. 5 [2022-2023]

Shout out to every fast food employee who has ever offered to make my order a slightly different way so that it comes out cheaper

“Can I get a 20pc nugget?”

“We are actually having a BOGO deal on 10pc nuggets, would you like to do two of those?”

“Yes and also I’m going to kiss you on the mouth when I get to the window.”

God damn I’ve been Owned…

where’s jack going

to undo the future that is aku

interview with the vampire (1994) is so funny because brad pitt was like i fucking hate it here i hate this character i will not read those dumb books i hate this shoot it’s all at night i’m so miserable i want to buy my way out of my contract but it’s a few million more than i can spare and david geffen won’t negotiate a lower price so i need everyone around me to be miserable too so i won’t shower in protest and tom cruise was like i’m having a *blast* i was such a fan of the vampire chronicles so i’ve been rereading the books and wow lestat has so much going on internally he’s my best friend my blorbo from work my wife and i moved to paris for a few months to get a feel for his era and culture and we love new orleans and i studied videos of large cats stalking their prey and i’ve been reading a lot of classical literature to really nail his vocabulary and vocal cadence and i lost 20lbs to really get that gaunt look and wow isn’t kirsten dunst so talented she should be claudia i’m going to make sure she gets the role i’m having so much fun i love it here and guess which one anne rice waged a very public war against until the studio had to step in because she was getting too nasty only for her to do an about face when the movie came out and proclaim that his performance would be remembered with olivier’s hamlet

keep seeing Temu ads on here so just to share cause idk if people are widely aware

i think men are too emotional to own websites

Shin Godzilla 2016

This is canon btw

it's why he shoots purple

gaslighting germans it’s always morally correct

Loved the follow up to this where the neighbor was confronting her about this video and she was gaslighting her neighbor again by askin if all viatnamese people look the same to them

Strange that it never occured to me. There are times I've been so upset that I've stamped around while cussing, that I've lain flat on the floor and groaned for as long as I had breath, that I've ranted my frustration aloud in an unhinged monologue, that I've swung my limbs about in a fury. All until I'd vented enough to just ... resume my normal life.

And if I'd had not the privacy of my home, I'd either have had to bottle that all up ... or open it all up where the public could scrutinize my every move. It really is a privilege to not be constantly on display like that.