I feel bad for the scientists who spent years and years getting their degrees only to eventually end up dressing up rats in lingerie.

I feel jealous of the scientists who get to spend their time dressing up rats in jackets.

who even thought it would be a good idea to put rats in lingerie

Who are we to deprive rats of the right to be sexy?

Handsome!

bitch bitch little bitch i made you my bitch JESSE bitch bitch YEAH BITCH JESSE ……..bitch

might fuck around might practice a dead religion

might resurrect a slain god with my faith

The worst feeling is when you dig through the soft dirt to find grubs for your girls, and your girls look at you with such loving, hopeful eyes. They encouragingly cluck at you. But there are no grubs, and your girls go home hungry, hungry for grubs. But they are…… Grubless.

This is the Lucky Ace. Reblog to recieve a wad of cash that is oddly specific to your current needs.

I reblogged this shit two days ago y’all… what kinda sorcery is this. Oddly specific too …. I’ll take it tho 🤯

I think I did it wrong

Uh I reblogged this like 3 days ago and I start my new job on Monday??? Like idk how you accidentally find a job but I did.

I need to get paid asap so pls ace help

I GOT PAID I GOT PAID!!!!!! MUCH MORE THAN I EXPECTED AAAAAAAAAAAA THANK YOU ACE

I legit have a specific amount i want in my head rn it better come true 😭

I ALSO HAVE A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF MONEY I WOULD LIKE TO ACQUIRE, PLEASE HELP

This has worked before, so why not again?

you can have more notes just please give me money

for all of you that are feeling a bit down today: here is a tiny bird called the blue-naped chlorophonia that really likes to eat bananas

x

Sketch of this cute dog from yesterday along with a painting study that I also turned into that beautiful dog because I can’t stop.

A ceramic jar filled with thousands of bronze coins was recently unearthed at the site of a 15th-century samurai’s residence just north of Tokyo [710x470]

reblog in 30 seconds to find a clay jar of bronze coins

I waited 31 seconds because where the fuck am I going to put a clay jar full of bronze coins I mean honestly.

honestly fuck horses all they do is walk around and eat grass all day and yet they’re somehow super fucking ripped and women love them AND they have huge dingle dongles like what the FUCK god hey how about you throw humanity a fuckin bone, eh?

We have better depth perception.

depth perception doesn’t make my meat any bigger JOE

We also don’t eat grass.

joe if eating grass is the price i have to pay for a big dick and smokin physique then so be it

Pretty sure this is how centaurs came along

Four rich fathers go golfing.

One of them stays behind to pay the bill and the other three proceed to the first hole. While golfing, the three fathers start bragging about their sons.

The first father says, “I am very proud of my son Arthur; he is my pride and joy. He started working at a very successful company at the bottom of the barrel and now he is at the top!  He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes Benz for his birthday.”

The second fathers says, “My son Ivan is also my pride and joy, I am very proud of him. He went to flight school to become a pilot and managed to become a partner in the company where he now owns the majority of the assets. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday.”

The third father says, “Well, well, well - congratulations! My son, Ludwig, is also my pride and joy and is also very rich. He became an engineer. He started his own construction company and became very successful and a multimillionaire. He built a mansion especially for his best friend.”

Then the fourth father catches up and they ask him how his son is doing.

The fourth father replies, “Oh, my son Alfred is gay and he makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub.”

The three friends shake their heads and say, “What a shame, you must be so unhappy! How tragic.”

The fourth father replies with a bright smile, “Oh no, I am not ashamed at all! Alfred is my son and I love him just as well; he’s my pride and joy. And he is much loved by his friends too. Did you know that his birthday just passed and the other day he received a Mercedes Benz, a brand new jet and a huge mansion from his three suitors?”

Reblog to support proud father and his sugar baby gay son.

I hope everyone is having a fucking day

fun fact: there is a goddess of friendship in ancient greece named philotes

extra fun fact: she is a daughter of nyx, whose other children are such lovely people as thanatos (god of death), momus (god of mockery), oizys (goddess of misery and depression), nemesis (goddess of retribution), apate (goddess of deceit), and eris (goddess of strife)

Every family has an oddball

tbh? i will defend spiders with my life. they’re not “evil” they’re animals and they’re driven by instinct. when they bite you they don’t think “i hate this person i’m going to make them feel miserable >:)” they’re defending themselves. they literally cannot have any sense of morality. stop saying things like “all spiders should burn in hell” or “spiders are monsters” ,etc. spiders are really important and also are really interesting animals!

the worst thing is? i’ve went on youtube and seen videos people post of their pet spiders and the majority of the comments are always shit like “KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!1” like, that’s someone’s pet that they love and care a lot about. don’t do that.

be nice to spiders. even if you think they’re scary. even if you don’t like them; they’re not evil; if you seen one in your house please don’t kill it, it doesn’t want to hurt you it just wants to catch bugs for you!; if it bothers you then just take it back outside in a dry place.

Also, don’t be rude to people who are passionate about spiders/own spiders and don’t be mean to their pets!

where are those startups that are disrupting the glasses industry

zenni and it’s amazing and i love it 40 dollar bifocals fuck yeah

Hey I’m reblogging this again because if you need glasses here’s what I do:

I can’t articulate how many literal headaches Zenni has saved me because I just used to wear my old prescription until I had trouble keeping my eyes open from the strain. Now at the first hint of eye strain it’s like “Not today, Satan!” and I can plan for the $100 expense that’s going to last me potentially years.

Obligatory reminder that a ton of people have added but still, Zenni and other likewise sites (1-800-Contacts) require the prescription be up to date within a year. So yeah plan that in, any time you shop, that script has to be from within the last year. 

I would also like to submit glassesshop.com because, though I shopped Zenni exclusively from 2012-2017, in the last six months I have gotten four pairs of glasses from GlassesShop, and still paid less than a hundred dollars.

The key difference for me was that while Zenni was utterly eye opening (ha, eye pun), they rarely do sales, and GlassesShop is constantly rolling through a variety of sales. There is almost always a wide selection of glasses on Buy One Get One Free promotion, and the free pair includes the lenses, no matter what add ons are on there or whatever kinda prescription you got, as long as its the less expensive pair. 

They also do weekly specials where rotating selections of frames go on clearance-rate pricing, from $6.95-12.95. This is just the tip of the iceberg of the constant variety of sales, promotions, and discounts they offer, and doesn’t include that, also unlike Zenni, if you have an account every purcahse you make accrues points which can be applied in dollar amount to future purchases, even with discounts/sales/promos also applied.

Like Zenni, GlassesShop lets you upload a selfie to “try on” frames you’re interested in, but they have a much wider selection and variety. They take about the same amount of time as Zenni to craft and ship your glasses, and they’re on par as far as quality and accuracy of prescription goes.

I will always be grateful to Zenni for opening the door for me on the online glasses market, because as someone netting less than 20k a year after taxes glasses used to be a “upon pain of death/causing a car accident from blindness” purchase but have become a “well that’s a great sale and I LOVE those frames… I guess I could do with another pair of glasses, there’s $30-50 in my budget!” kind of thing, and that’s incredible.

But I probably won’t be switching back, as after having made multiple purchases, the only thing I like better about Zenni compared to GlassesShop is Zenni has better cleaning cloths.

Regardless, they’re two excellent, amazingly affordable alternatives to spending minimum of $100 at a brick and mortar glasses store, and I’ve turned into something of a proselytizer for both, because people deserve to know they have these options.

It’s bad enough we’re out here paying to see, but too many of us don’t realize we could be paying a lot less to see, and in the cutest glasses best suited to our tastes, instead of whatever’s “cheap” at WalMart.

also gonna throw out eyebuydirect, which does some great sales. I’ve gotten prescription glasses as cheap as $6 and prescription sunglasses for $20.

Oh boy if you’re mad about the US separating children from their parents, putting people in camps, and having a zero tolerance policy towards asylum seekers that has led to deliberate extensive cruelty as a futile deterrent wait until you hear about Australia.

…what’s going on in Australia?

Buddy! Strap in because there are two parts to this:

Australia has had a long history of separating children from their parents. The government decided that mixed raced children of Indigenous Australians were not OK so literally kidnapped them and raised them to assimilate into white society and “breed the colour out.” This started about 1905 and ended about 1970. We call them the Stolen Generations. This has had long lasting negative effects on Indigenous Australians as it was a decades long attempt to absolutely destroy their culture and commit genocide. “But that was the past?” Surprise! By “ended in 1970″ I mean “the reasons in which we en masse tear children away from their families now has a different reason” and Indigenous children are now being taken away at even higher rates than during the stolen generations. Australia saw its Indigenous population, thought “how do we destroy their culture?” and when we were done thought “gee, how do we blame them for having all these issues in their communities?”

BUT THAT’S JUST THE BEGINNING!

Fast forward to now: Trump is using kids as political leverage to stop people from coming to the US right? Buddy he’s ripping Australia off. Scott Morrison, Minister for Immigration at the time once did that.

OK so for context: when people try to come to Australia via boat seeking asylum because they’re fleeing war/persecution we do either 2 things: turn them back and let them just… die elsewhere… Or we lock them up in detention centres on Manus/Nauru Island. That’s where we keep them indefinitely in bad conditions, give them dodgy medical care, smear them in the press, and react indifferently when they die from suicide/negligence/assault… and cover up sexual assaults from guards and the incredibly high rate of self harm and depression even in children. The entire idea is to be as cruel as possible so other people hear about it and go “geez, let’s not go to Australia. They’ll literally torture us before they give us a protective visa.” And when I say indefinitely I mean indefinitely. Some refugees have spent 5 years wasting away in these prisons. Some children have spent their entire life in these prisons. And the government openly admits that they’re genuine refugees. They’ve been rigorously vetted and known to be safe people with no intention of harming us but it’s the zero tolerance principle. You tried to come here via boat? You go jail but we call it “detention.”

Well Scott Morrison decided once to tell the Senate that he could release a few kids from detention centres but only if they voted for a bill that increased his powers to send refugees back to where they would suffer persecution and basically told them if they don’t vote for it the kids will continue to suffer. He held children as ransom for his own political power. Our Human Rights Commissioner slammed it as terrible to use kids as bargaining chips. You know what the government did? Personally attack her and ask her to resign over his bias. Our Prime Minister at the time complained that Australia was “sick of being lectured” by the UN over how we keep torturing refugees.

The main line of attack against refugees: “they’re just coming here to take advantage of our welfare.” Oh no! It’ll cost the taxpayer money to subsidise a refugee to live in a safe country! So instead of having them “rip off” the taxpayer with a couple hundred a fortnight we’ll just lock them up on an island where it costs $1 million per person on average over the past 4 years and operational costs have wasted $5 billion in 4 years. Why help someone for barely enough money to survive when you can torture them and keep them imprisoned for several times more!

Scott Morrison, or Sco-Mo as we kids call them, loved the US’s Muslim Ban idea by the way. He said it was proof that the rest of the world was “catching up to Australia.” Yeah. Geez guys. What took you so long to be as bad as Australia?

Mandatory detention has had bipartisan support from the two major parties since its creation by the Keating government in 1992. We have been keeping people in prison for seeking asylum for 26 years.

Oh and the government super doesn’t them to come here. The Abbott government spent $4.1 million on a propaganda movie to be shown overseas to deter refugees.

We also don’t want to get rid of them. There was a deal under the Obama administration to take some of these refugees but this process has carried on into the Trump administration. He was livid the idea that he should uphold this deal because 1) OooOBaMaaaa!! 2) REFUGEES?? In America??? So that’s currently going nowhere. Meanwhile New Zealand, our good ally and close neighbour, has said “I’ll take some of them” and the current PM (Turnbull) has said no. His excuse? We have a deal with the US. We should see where that goes. It’s going nowhere. So he conveniently can just pretend his hands are tied and let refugees continue to be tortured and die under his care.

(And he hasn’t said it but I bet he’ll never let refugees settle in New Zealand because if they become NZ citizens they’ll have travel rights to come to Australia without the same visa restrictions as other countries AND THEN THE REFUGEES WOULD WIN).

Papa New Guinea (Manus Island isn’t Australian, we just have a deal to pay another government to let us keep a torture prison on their land… hmm I feel like there’s a US equivalent somewhere too…) decided a while back “hang on, this is unconstitutional and horrible. You need to close down the detention centre on Manus.” So we “did.” And then made a new building on the same island to keep them in and forced them to go into it despite it not being finished. This was after guards physically beat the refugees to make them go to this new prison.

I could go on but you get the idea.

So let’s top this all off with the icing on the cake: a phone call between Trump and Turnbull when Trump was getting acquainted with all the world leaders last year. Turnbull explained our zero tolerance refugee policy and the cruelty as a deterrent that is employed and Trump said “That is a good idea. We should do that too. You are worse than I am.”

“That is a good idea. We should do that too. You are worse than I am.”

Let that sink in.

And that’s where we’re up to now in modern history. See everyone likes to go to the obvious big example we have of the Nazis and their camps but the truth is… this never stopped. There are similar examples of this abhorrent behaviour happening right now and have been for decades. Governments have been putting people in camps and trying to destroy cultures, or ethnicities, or deny people safe havens from wars, and be utterly heartless and deliberately cruel since forever. This is the ongoing drive of conservatism: keep people out, keep people a certain way, and the current example in the US is just that bubbling over the horribly inescapable surface. We are deluded to think that this cruelty took a 70 year respite when WW2 ended and it’s taken this long to get this strong.

The world has always been racist. Trump just doesn’t bother to filter it. And Australia just wants to keep it on an island so no one can see it.

Also, that Australia/New Zealand immigration deal? Australia has slowly been taking away the rights of New Zealanders resident in Australia - including children born in Australia to Kiwi parents - and making it nigh-impossible for them to actually get Australian citizenship, basically all because of paranoia that brown people will move from NZ to Australia. They’re aggressively deporting Māori and Pasifika New Zealanders, even those who may have come as small children and have no memory of New Zealand, both for things like being convicted of any crime and for things like “being of bad character”. Or, rather, they don’t deport them. They put them in offshore prison camps and tell them they can’t leave until they agree to leave Australia. (It’s not that these things don’t affect Pākehā NZers, it’s that we’re not the real targets.) 

During our election campaign last year, the Deputy PM of Australia openly said that if Labour were elected to government it would be bad for Australia because they would encourage refugees to try and get to Australia hoping to be taken by New Zealand. They have an island fortress mentality Trump hasn’t even started to achieve. 

And the thing about Australia – there isn’t the coverage that America has. Not even in our own country. It’s hard to find out what’s happening – visas for journalists to visit Nauru are prohibitively expensive – and … no one really cares. It’s so entrenched that it’s the status quo, and when I called my MP and senators to go, WTF guys? the response was like, “…oh yeah, thanks for your feelings, cool, bye”. 

I honestly tune out a lot of the coverage because, at this point, I don’t know what to do. Both major parties support these policies, so I vote for the Greens. I contacted my representatives. I walked in protest marches. I donate to the Asylum Seeker Resource Centre and other charities. 

So I guess, if I have advice for Americans, it’s to not let this become the status quo. Because you’ll wake up one day and it will have always been like this.

Holy shit, I knew it was bad here but I didn’t know it was that bad. Why don’t we hear about the depth of these things in Australia, how can they keep us so in the dark?

@stripedwoolenjumper

Part of the reason is because the government keeps passing legislation to silence whistleblowers and journalists (they currently have a bill to make possession of any information that might “damage Australia’s reputation” illegal), and the other part is that most of the media won’t or can’t report on it.

What you can do to help the Human Rights crisis in Australia:

If you are Australian:

WHO SHOULD I DONATE TO?

If you are a member of the Australian Labor Party, please do what you can to bring up this issue and pressure the party leadership to change its policy.

If you are NOT Australian

If you are a New Zealander: please continue to keep the pressure on your government to call out Australia and offer to take refugees.

#CloseTheCamps #BringThemHere

And this is the latest fuckery.

Basically, the politicians got their shit together and passed a bill giving doctors more say in deciding if refugees can get a medical transfer from Nauru to Australia.

The bastards in the Coalition have responded by re-opening Christmas Island. They are going to move 300-odd sick refugees to Christmas Island where they can block their transfer to Australia because the bill only covers Nauru.

There are days when I am desperately ashamed of my country.

Australia is so fucked. The pettiest dickheads in parliament running our country into the ground and destroying as many lives as possible while they do it. Going down and dragging as many people with them as they can, absolutely disgusting.

it makes me so happy, I had to

date a girl who wouldn’t mind seeing a cockroach emerge out of your blouse pocket while out to dinner at a fancy restaurant