cariann

If you could imagine the pain that is throwing up your organs,

Then you can imagine my pain waking up everyday </3

If my mom knew that every moment I am exiting was wishing I wasn’t, she would be the saddest women I knew.

How can I be in so in love with a broken heart

staring into space waiting for someone to save me

I keep waiting for you to see the same colors as I do.

I keep waiting for you to hear the same music as I do.

I keep waiting for you to feel the same pain as I do.

I keep waiting for you to hurl the same sick as I do.

I’m getting good at waiting.

I think that feeling negative is better than feeling nothing.

Because to feel nothing is to feel absence.

And absences is painful.

To feel nothing is to feel drowning continuously, with water in your lungs.

The awareness of feeling empty is the worst pain of all.

It is to feel burning eternally, with no fire on your skin.

It is to feel trapped endlessly, in the cage that is your mind.

To be negative is to not.

And I’d much rather not.

Hey Siri;

How do I stop being so sad, please help me stop being so fucking sad.

So what if we just keep digging to see the light at the end of the tunnel,

but when we get to the light it’s just hell

and we’ve been trying so so hard for so long,

for absolutely nothing except more suffering.

Just a thought

Thinking about how songs can sound like feelings

Skin