$300,000/3 br/3290 sq ft

Rapid City, SD

built in 1892

setup and punchline

The artist is luo li rong

The statue doesn’t have big enough titties to have been made by a man.

I know I’ve reblogged this before but the schadenfreude is too delicious.

By the way, the statue is called  La mélodie oubliée (The Forgotten Melody). Luo Li Rong also painted it:

And here she and the statue are in a more formal setting (museum or art show, I can’t tell):

“Dork ass losers”

OK not only do I think she’s a sorceress but now I have a massive crush on her

the fact that Donald Trump will die in my lifetime is a very comforting thought

I’m staying in this bitch ass world just to outlive him

I can’t describe to you my love for Patrick

reblog the Don Draper of getting a job he’s unqualified for and you’ll have 10 years of getting jobs you’re unqualified for

YES

No but my dad actually did this at McDonalds in the 70s!

So here’s a true story: my father, sometime in the 70s was looking for his first job. He went to the local McDonalds and told the staff, [manager’s name] said I was supposed to start today. They took his word for it and started training him and by the time the manager saw him and asked who he was, people just said “oh that’s the new guy.”

Somehow this actually worked. My dad worked there for a couple of years as a cook. He even won an award plaque which he had on the wall until the day he died.

Confidence Helps

Me, walking into FBI Headquarters:

“Name’s Burt Macklin, I work here now.”

if you’re reading this

a lump sum of money is on the way to you

It Works the money is on its way!

Need this.

Of course

It worked tho

I just won $500 off a scratch Ticket lottery.

ENERGY

OKAY LEGIT I REBLOGGED THIS YESTERDAY. ME AND MY PARTNER ARE IN SUCH A TIGHT SPOT FOR MONEY ATM AS WE ARE SAVING FOR A DEPOSIT ON A HOUSE. I GOT PAID DOUBLE WHAT I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO GET AND SO DID HE AND HONESTLY I CRIED SO MUCH TODAY IM SO HAPPY AND RELIEVED

Positive vibes!!!!!

$275,000/1 br

Peshastin, WA

I LOVE THIS VIDEO

wait for it………..

Sound up.

How Much Can Kill You?

Water -  Everyone has heard that they should drink 2 liters of water every day. But if you drink 3 times as much, your kidneys will not be able to process this much liquid and get it out of your system. The result can be internal organ and brain edema and respiratory arrest. 

Coffee -  Half an ounce of caffeine is believed to be a lethal dose. It is approximately 113 coffee cups (of 250 ml). It is worth mentioning that in this case, a person would probably die not from the caffeine overdose but water intoxication: 113 cups are actually almost 30 liters of water. So if you don’t eat coffee beans or mouthfuls of instant coffee, you are safe.

Chocolate -  Chocolate contains a small amount of theobromine. This alkaloid is a powerful agent that stimulates the central nervous system. But if you ate 22 lb of chocolate in one sitting, it could lead first to nausea and diarrhea, then an epileptic fit, then internal bleeding, cardiac infarction, and finally death.

Alcohol -  For a healthy man, a deadly dose would be 1.25 liters of 40% alcohol (approximately 27 shots of 45 ml each). But it will happen only if the man finishes this amount within one hour and does not throw up.

Cigarettes - Taking into account that each standard cigarette contains approximately 0.8 mg of nicotine, 75 cigarettes can blow you to kingdom come.

Marijuana - Things are slightly different with marijuana. The fatal dose is 1,500 lb, smoked within 15 minutes or 48 lb eaten at one time. And you probably won’t enjoy it at all. Not even Snoop Dogg can do that.

Apple Seeds -  You won’t die from eating 18 apples. But if you take out the seeds from those 18 apples, smash them to pieces, chew them thoroughly, and swallow them, then there is a possibility that you will die because apple seeds contain cyanide. 

Bananas -  Bananas contain potassium, an overdose of which can lead to death. But for this to happen, you would have to eat 400 bananas in one sitting.

Oranges -  To die from an orange overdose, you would need to eat 11,000 oranges in one sitting.

Salt - The everyday norm of salt is approximately 0.1 oz. A lethal dose of salt is 9 oz in one sitting (approximately 48 teaspoons). If someone decides to choose this way to commit suicide, it will be a truly regretful choice because the death would be agonizing (from a lot of enemas) and long.

Sugar -  The fatal dose of sucrose is 5 oz per pound of your body weight. This means that a man would need to eat 55 lb of sugar in one go, which equals approximately 500 teaspoons

Toothpaste - Theoretically, you would need to eat 24 tubes of toothpaste to get to the afterlife. 

Appleseeds and bananas are more lethal than weed. Fuck anybody who ever says anything about weed ever again.

Forget bananas, WATER is more lethal than weed. 

I think next thursday is gonna be the best day of my entire life tbh

reblog for next thursday to be the best day of your life

speaking it into existence 

that first kiss with the person you’ve been dying to kiss is probably the best feeling in the world

Good ad.

Holy balls….

Holy hell

Holy shit, that’s some faith in your product

God damn Russians.

I gotta reblog this shit twice fam. That nigga shot himself. I want this nigga on my team. He real asf.

What if it didn’t work?!?!!! Wtffff 😭😭😭😭

Get you a freak like dat…

Fuckin Russians man

I love this video and he’s so cute

I thought that was a 2k character

I was that was a character too!

LET 👏 RETAIL 👏 EMPLOYEES 👏 SIT 👏

The only major chain retail store that I know of that allows their cashiers to sit is the Aldi grocery store, a German chain. Their starting pay is also $12 an hour chain-wide.

The interior of the store looks like this so they save money on the annoying shelf restocking. Products remain in their boxes until being removed by customers.  No unboxing and putting stuff on shelves, and constantly having to rearrange it. Also, the boxes make inventory a breeze as a sealed box has a defined number of items in it. 

Typical American grocery stores have shelves like this

Every item has to be unboxed and neatly stacked on the shelves. If they get messed up by the customers, everything has to be rearranged back to specific rigid order. When you have to verify the inventory, every item has to be removed from the shelves to be counted and put back. Aldi’s also do not have plastic bags. You can buy reusable bags or simply use the empty cardboard boxes that are available.

Last is the carts. Most grocery stores have their carts strewn across the parking lots, rolling around and hitting cars until a store employee is sent out to collect them, after being yelled at by the manager when they were told to do other tasks in the meantime. Aldi’s chains those carts together and you have to put a Quarter in to release it. When you are done, you plug the chain back in and get your Quarter back. If others are lazy, you can collect and return the loose carts and collect the Quarters. 

It stops this…

Then the employees have to do this

reblogging this because I love Alidis

european here,

american customers really fucking leave their trolleys all over the goddamn place like that?

really??

what’s funny is they’re trying to take away chairs in offices too, but brand it as a “health decision” with standing desks.

what the fuck is the joke here

some

oh

BODY

pEOPle WHO CAN WRITE…

PEOPLE whO CAN dRAW…

PEoPLE WHo CAN wriTE AND DRaW…

PEOPLE WHO CAN…

PEOPLE WHO CAN CAN…

CANS THAT CAN CAN…

And then there’s me:

This last GIF. I’m in love.