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Chickens from Uranus

@captaincolossal / captaincolossal.tumblr.com

Sally, She/They, 30s, queer AF butch, INTJ, Gemini, professional (???) artist. I mostly scream about movies right now, sorry not sorry, but also hmu for a rec I guess,

Oh god, so my favorite thing that I overheard at the event today was this morning, when this lady was walking by with like. 4-5 teens who were kind of horsing around and she was doing the "calm down and pay attention to your surroundings" talk, except it went, "hey, so the people here have been here for two days already, and have talked to a lot of people, so we're going to be real gentle with them, okay?" and like, holy shit, I appreciate the thought so much, because Jesus Christ. I am tired, I am sore, I am hoarse, me ears are done listening to people and various ambient noises, and I think my brain melted around noon yesterday.

But also. I was sitting there giggling, like what am I, a zoo animal with a delicate constitution? Like an easily spooked red panda. Or. I don't know what kind of zoo animal I would be, I think some kind of bear, perhaps?

True Stories (1986)

Oh, hey, David Byrne.

Okay, this is great if you're a fan of Talking Heads, eccentric humor, and, like, views of middle America. It's excellent, "Wild, Wild Life" is playing in the club, and John Goodman is about to start dancing.

Swoozie Kurtz (who, yes, was on LOST) is so rich she lives in a big fancy house and never gets out of bed, because why not.

Oh, malls.

David Byrne is a visitor, and sort of monologues as vignettes happen.

Oh god, so my favorite thing that I overheard at the event today was this morning, when this lady was walking by with like. 4-5 teens who were kind of horsing around and she was doing the "calm down and pay attention to your surroundings" talk, except it went, "hey, so the people here have been here for two days already, and have talked to a lot of people, so we're going to be real gentle with them, okay?" and like, holy shit, I appreciate the thought so much, because Jesus Christ. I am tired, I am sore, I am hoarse, me ears are done listening to people and various ambient noises, and I think my brain melted around noon yesterday.

But also. I was sitting there giggling, like what am I, a zoo animal with a delicate constitution? Like an easily spooked red panda. Or. I don't know what kind of zoo animal I would be, I think some kind of bear, perhaps?

True Stories (1986)

Oh, hey, David Byrne.

Queer music is impossible to define because we are not a monolith and we all have our own tastes and styles but it sure is not harry styles and taylor swift

honestly, i wish when i was a kid adults had said to me "lying is a thing most people do quite a bit of in social situations, its going to be useful to know how and when to do it, because if you dont you will often seem rude and offputting" instead of just "its bad to lie dont lie" because. guess who often seems rude and offputting.

The older fella who's my booth neighbor at this 3-day event (and was my neighbor last year as well, and is quite nice and not overly chatty) asked what I was doing on my tablet when I wasn't talking to people and I just said, "oh, just reading" which seems normal, you know, read a little on your downtime. Except he seemed to think I was reading Informative Content when in fact I was reading fanfic from my dropbox, which made it really funny when he asked if I was learning a lot. Like yes, right now I'm learning about hockey and also human anatomy.

So. This is a film that I've never watched, mostly because people referencing it are so fucking annoying, and so I have always assumed the film itself is fucking annoying. Unfortunately for me, I lined this film up before I had the day I had, and then spent an hour crying out of annoyance and frustration and sheer Tiredness. In my defense, I had 4 hours of sitting in 95 degree heat with nothing to do but question my life choices. So if I hate this movie, I think we can probably blame it on The Economy or something.

Anyway, we can hardly have an 80s themed week without a John Hughes film, can we.

Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)

I also faked sick to stay home from school, but only a few times and staying home and reading all day was probably better for my mental and emotional well-being than going to Catholic school.

It's kinda stupid but less irritating than I expected.

Okay, but hockey jersey boy's Rich Asshole voice just reminds me of Caveguy from Freakazoid!.

I enjoy the driving around Chicago bits, because I also enjoy driving around Chicago.

I would also go to the Art Institute, I fucking love it there.

School admin man is so embarrassing.

Ew, Charlie Sheen.

It's okay, the car was always going to die, that was Chekhov's Rare Vintage Automobile.

Meanwhile, Jennifer Grey has been learning about double standards and the uselessness of cops in an actual Situation.

Again, not as annoyed as I thought I would be. I liked the Save Ferris thing, and like, it was fun and cute.

So. This is a film that I've never watched, mostly because people referencing it are so fucking annoying, and so I have always assumed the film itself is fucking annoying. Unfortunately for me, I lined this film up before I had the day I had, and then spent an hour crying out of annoyance and frustration and sheer Tiredness. In my defense, I had 4 hours of sitting in 95 degree heat with nothing to do but question my life choices. So if I hate this movie, I think we can probably blame it on The Economy or something.

Anyway, we can hardly have an 80s themed week without a John Hughes film, can we.

Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)

I also faked sick to stay home from school, but only a few times and staying home and reading all day was probably better for my mental and emotional well-being than going to Catholic school.

It's kinda stupid but less irritating than I expected.

Okay, but hockey jersey boy's Rich Asshole voice just reminds me of Caveguy from Freakazoid!.

I enjoy the driving around Chicago bits, because I also enjoy driving around Chicago.

I would also go to the Art Institute, I fucking love it there.

So. This is a film that I've never watched, mostly because people referencing it are so fucking annoying, and so I have always assumed the film itself is fucking annoying. Unfortunately for me, I lined this film up before I had the day I had, and then spent an hour crying out of annoyance and frustration and sheer Tiredness. In my defense, I had 4 hours of sitting in 95 degree heat with nothing to do but question my life choices. So if I hate this movie, I think we can probably blame it on The Economy or something.

Anyway, we can hardly have an 80s themed week without a John Hughes film, can we.

Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)

I also faked sick to stay home from school, but only a few times and staying home and reading all day was probably better for my mental and emotional well-being than going to Catholic school.

Ugh, I just want to gripe about the heat, but that's so boring, but everything else is boring, too. I spent most of the day packing my car, that's not interesting, that's just me staring t boxes and mentally calculating how to maximize the cargo space of a Dodge Journey. Which, I'm delighted to say, is technically a station wagon. I don't know if I've said that. Captain Geech is a station wagon.

Hang on, have to go get a beverage. And pie! I have pie.

Peggy Sue Got Married (1986)

This lady with the tape recorder probably has the bitchiest podcast.

Oh, it's tiny baby Jim Carrey.

Helen Hunt??

What would say is, uh. Happening here. Again, what...what kind of voice would we say Nicholas Cage is doing here. Because it's certainly a choice.

This is like. Imagine Back to the Future (1985) but for chicks. None of that sci-fi nonsense, just dream magic time travel with an adulthood framing narrative. It's also like both a teen movie and a rom-com. I dunno, It's cute!

Ugh, I just want to gripe about the heat, but that's so boring, but everything else is boring, too. I spent most of the day packing my car, that's not interesting, that's just me staring t boxes and mentally calculating how to maximize the cargo space of a Dodge Journey. Which, I'm delighted to say, is technically a station wagon. I don't know if I've said that. Captain Geech is a station wagon.

Hang on, have to go get a beverage. And pie! I have pie.

Peggy Sue Got Married (1986)

This lady with the tape recorder probably has the bitchiest podcast.

i do not at all mean this in a perjorative manner, but i do think it’s important to be able to consume a piece of media and go, “i’m not the audience for this” and be able to just walk away 

there doesn’t have to be something wrong or “problematic” about something for a person to not like it. personal taste is personal taste. but something not doing it for you doesn’t mean it automatically has to be wrong or bad. it’s just not for you. 

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There’s been several times when I’ve watched a thing and been like, they clearly did what they intended to do, and did it well, and I don’t want any part of it. This is a high quality and deeply unpleasant piece of art.

“This is a high quality and deeply unpleasant piece of art” is a wonderful line, I love it, I feel it in my soul

too good a take to be left in the tags

Recently, my son said to me after seeing a ballet on television: “It’s beautiful but I don’t like it.” And I thought, Are many grown-ups capable of such a distinction? It’s beautiful, but I don’t like it. Usually, our grown-up thinking is more along the lines of: I don’t like it, so it’s not beautiful. What would it meant to separate those two impressions for art making and for art criticism?

- Sarah Ruhl, 100 Essays I Don’t Have Time To Write