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CAPSLOCK APOCALYPSE

@capslockapocalypse / capslockapocalypse.tumblr.com

Ruby / Zoë. The 36 presents thing was a joke, and I KNOW I spelled theatre in the way no one wanted me to, but I sAID GET USED TO IT. (she/they)
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is the world really such a terrible place? yesterday i asked if oat milk was extra and the barista said yes so i said ok just regular milk then and when she gave me my chai latte she whispered “i used oat milk ;)” doesnt that make u want to live another day?

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here is my life philosophy: next week there might be someone ahead of you in line at the store who’s short a quarter and you have a quarter and you can give it to them. if you weren’t there, they’d have to put something back. the week after that you could be getting lunch and the waiter might ask if you want some pancakes someone else ordered and never picked up. you could find someone’s lost cat. you could watch someone’s bag while they go to the restroom. there are so many ways you are going to touch other people’s lives and they are going to touch yours and there’s no way to know when it’s going to happen. so you have to keep living!!! i wouldn’t want to die knowing that tomorrow the barista will give me free oat milk just to be nice. 

When I was 11 years old - we went to Sea World for my birthday. This was to avoid the realization I had no friends, and no one to come to a birthday party and probably because someone gave my mother free tickets at work. It was kinda a shitty day despite being at a theme park full of cute animals. There was a new roller coaster there that had just opened so we decided to go on. I was nervous. I’d never been on a roller coaster.

A group of 6 college kids were ahead of us in line and started chatting with me. Full on just having a fun conversation with someone literally going through the beginning of a very awkward middle school period. I was so shocked they wanted to talk to me. I think my mom mentioned it was my birthday. They were very nice about it. When we got on the ride they told us to go ahead of them so we could sit at the front of the car since it held 8 people.

Now the ride (called Journey to Atlantis - I believe it is sadly no longer there) started with a slow ride of beautiful visuals of dolphins and oceans and computerized images of this imaginary Atlantis before going up the hill to the beginning of the coaster, where it paused for about 30 seconds, and then the ride started. The college kids must have known there would be a pause. Maybe they’d ridden it before I’m not sure.

But as we sat there on that peak, 6 people I’ve never known, and will never know again, sang a very very lonely 11 year old happy birthday. Loudly. And with gusto. They were happy and laughing and joyful. And it made me feel less alone in the world.

I am 29 years old this year, and I still remember them. I still remember that kindness. It is so important. It doesn’t go into a vacuum. It exists beside me in my daily life. And I love the idea that I have been that person to someone else too.

It’s stunningly lovely to be human when we’re kind to each other.

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OH THIS CAN’T BE LEFT IN THE NOTES

enemies to lovers to enemies to lovers to enemies to lovers to enemies to lovers to enemies to lovers to enemies to lovers to enemies to lovers to enemies to lovers to enemies to lovers to enemies to lovers to enemies to lovers to enemies to lovers to enemies to lovers to enemies to lovers to enemies to lovers to enemies but back to lovers because he texted me back 💕

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the stranglehold this image has on my brain. every time someone mentions that they're going to the bathroom my reflexive response is always "go piss girl", like saying "bless you" in response to a sneeze

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

An actual World Heritage Post

how does this post not have a million notes but anyone online can quote it

one week until ten years of Spiders Georg

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I wish I was a female tiger because then if I was talking to someone and I was getting off topic I could say “but I tigress,” and then kill and eat them because I am a tiger

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ugh, okay, unfollowing. i had no clue he chopped down the entire forest and drove out all its wildlife and caused near ireversible damage to the worlds ecosystems just to make some fuzzy shapeless “thneed”

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C'mon guys, I think we’re blowing this way out of proportion. I mean h

How bad could it

H

In case you haven't been keeping up with the latest in Reddit drama:

  • CEO backhandedly threatens to seize control of shuttered subreddits that are protesting, by replacing the mods with more pliable/amenable ones
  • He couches this as the need to respect the will of the people, because the entire narrative he's been spinning is that only a few people are ruining the site for everyone
  • He also de-legitmizes all the hard work mods have done cultivating and maintaining popular subreddits by equating them to "landed gentry"
  • Some subreddits (like r/apple) reopen under duress, because they don't want to have their hard-earned communities stolen from them
  • Others (r/gifs, r/aww, r/pics) decide to go the malicious compliance route. After all, if this is all about respecting the will of the people, then let's by all means give them the same sort of narrow pathway forward that the CEO himself is offering
  • They put up polls with 2 choices: Either everything goes back to the way it was before the protests, or every post must be John-Oliver-related (i.e., sexy pics of John Oliver, gifsets of John Oliver, etc etc etc)
  • I mean after all, let's give the people choice, just the sort of choice you're offering mister CEO?
  • John Oliver wins in a landslide
  • Meanwhile, John Oliver - who has been conspicuously silent on Twitter since May1st (as he respects the writer's strike) - breaks his silence to give blessing.
  • He doesn't just give blessing though - he starts supplying embarrassing photos of himself to stoke things
  • The people have spoken