#this enrages me every time i see it for the simple fact that john mulaney would have been 15 when princess diana died #which begs the question #if he’s lying #does that mean he did it?
i cant believe john mulaney killed princess diana
all public school anti-bullying activism is extremely transparent and meaningless
faculty: BULLYING IS BAD!! ZERO TOLERANCE POLICY!! THIS IS A HATE FREE ZONE!!
me: hey this person called me a stupid dyke today
faculty: hmm that’s unfortunate. have you tried perhaps, not being gay?
I feel like everyone is against bullying until they actually look at the kids who are being bullied.
The cheesy anti-bullying tapes that they show in schools feature these skinny straight white neurotypical kids who get picked on for no reason. Usually the insults are something along the lines of “You’re a loser!” or “Get lost, freak.” All the kids watching immediately feel bad for the victim, and think “Aw! She didn’t deserve that!”
Then, ten minutes later, they go pick on some marginalized kid without thinking twice. As an autistic person, I was often this kid. The insults I heard growing up were not “You’re a loser!” or “Get lost, freak.” They were “Don’t let the retard work with us” or “Shouldn’t she be going to the special school?”
The problem is we teach kids that bullying occurs for no other reason other than just to be mean. This could not be further from the truth. Bullying occurs because as a society, we condition kids into hating fat, black, neurodivergent, queer, and disabled people. Kids don’t bully each other just to be mean. They do it because if something’s “wrong” with the person, it’s completely justified.
But of course, we can’t tell kids this kind of stuff. We can’t say, “Hey! Making fun of your gay classmate is bad!”
Because when we do, suddenly the phone calls come pouring in, each with a parent on the other end screaming “You can’t be feeding my son that liberal propaganda!”
lol damn
“Since y'all always drinking mine, what y'alls taste like?”
A six year old once asked me what adulthood is like.
“You can eat ice cream for dinner every night if you want,” I told him.
His face lit up.
“But you have to buy it yourself.”
I’ve never seen someone go from delighted to devastated as quickly as that little boy.
This is the most accurate description of adulthood I’ve ever heard.
aaaand i made a compilation of my favorite cat vines
Wish we could bring all of them back
If you don’t love languages, hear me out: my telugu friend had been affectionately calling me, a hindi speaker, “gundi” for 7 months. We didn’t realize until recently that the word has two completely different meanings in Telugu and Hindi, and that we both had completely different interpretations of her affection.
In Telugu, “gundi” means “smol/button/round/cute”.
In Hindi, “gundi” means “female thug”
This is literally that one joke: “I am a fierce and unwavering monster!”
“You are a puffball.”
“Fear me!”
“You are soft and I love you.”
- everyone hates carpets. no one wants their feet to be comfortable. no one wants them to be warm. no one wants to be able to lounge on the floor. they all want to throw their back out on hardwood. - everyone hates walls. i thought that houses having walls was normal, but everyone wants the only walls to be around the bathrooms and the bed rooms. children cannot leave your sight or they will be sucked into oblivion. you need to be able to see through the entire house and into hell. - people demand double vanities. when you’re a couple, apparently you have to use the bathroom in tandem. you get shackled together and you’re brushing your teeth at the same time, there are no other options available so you NEED two sinks. - showers must be separate from the tub. not counting people with disabilities and the elderly, i don’t understand why people can’t stand in a tub and take a shower. my whole life i thought tub showers were normal but apparently they are for peasants who don’t deserve to do cartwheels in their 10 by 10 shower stall. - people don’t have kitchen tables, they have islands. they need them for cooking prep, which is impossible to do at a table. they also need them to eat at in absurdly tall stools, despite the fact that the breakfast nook is 10 feet away and the dining room table is 15 feet away through their open floor plan. - stainless steel appliances are the powerhouse of the home.
i feel personally attacked by this
can i add one?
- no one knows that is is possible to paint over walls if you don’t like the color. once a color is on it’s on there forever
this is the only reblog of this post that i will endorse because it’s the only one not telling me all the reasons carpets are the devil
The year is 2018. Your bills are on autopay. You just got paid and you still have $1200 from the last check. When you want something, you buy it without moving money around. Your credit cards are paid off. You and your friends have 2 international trips planned and paid for this year. Your parents are in great health and you’re able to help if they need anything. You love your job. Your desired creative career is falling into place and you get to take your little cousins to Six Flags and Universal Studios over the Summer. Your relationships are healthy and supportive. All of the toxic energy from the past 6 years is gone. You going to concerts, eating good across the states and your crib has art and warmth throughout. 2018 is going to be so good to you.
In Jesus name Amen 🙏🏾
My cat gets really excited when I carry stuff. It doesn’t really matter what…
I support sex workers the same way I support Wal-Mart employees: I hate the industry but support the people who work for it regardless of how they got there
cant believe this post blew up again, but without the negative comments this time. nice.
A cunning vampire door-to-door salesperson who stands in people’s doorways and talks until they can find a convenient moment to drop their pen and the person picks it up and the vampire says oh “Thank you” and the person says “you’re welcome” and the vampire smiles a big fangy grin and steps inside And that’s this vampire’s modus operandi for decades And then the language starts to change and suddenly millenials have homes and the vampire thanks them and they say “oh, no problem” and the vampire is like ???????????????? this was not the plan
Millineals Are Killing the Vampire Industry
honestly the most unbelievable part of this is where millenials can afford to own homes
the second most unbelievable part of this is millenials answering their front doors for people they didnt know were coming over
My favorite thing is that Europe is spooky because it’s old and America is spooky because it’s big
“The difference between America and England is that Americans think 100 years is a long time, while the English think 100 miles is a long way.” –Earle Hitchner
A fave of mine was always the american tales where people freaked out because ‘someone died in this house’ and all the europeans would go ‘…Yes? That would be pretty much every house over 40 years old.’
‘…My school is older than your entire town.’
‘Sorry, you think *how far* is okay to travel for a shopping trip?’
*American looks up at the beams in a country pub* ‘Uh, this place has woodworm, isn’t that a bit unsafe?’ ‘Eh, the woodworm’s 400 years old, it’s holding those beams together.’
A few years ago when I was in college I did a summer program at Cambridge aimed specifically at Americans and Canadians, and my year it was all Americans and one Australian. We ended the program with a week in Wessex, and on the last day as we all piled onto the bus in Salisbury (or Bath? I can’t remember), the professors went to the front to warn us that we wouldn’t be making any stops unless absolutely necessary. We’re headed to Heathrow to drop off anyone flying off the same day, then back to Cambridge.
“All right, it’s going to be a long bus ride, so make sure you’re prepared for that.”
We all brace ourselves. A long bus ride? How long? We’re Americans; a long bus ride for us is a minimum of six hours with the double digits perfectly plausible. We can handle a twelve hour bus ride as long as we get a bathroom break.
The answer. “Two hours.”
Oh.
English people trying to travel around Australia and wildly underestimating distance are my favourite thing
a tour guide in France told my school group that a particular cathedral wouldn’t interest us much because “it’s not very old; only from the early 1600s”
to which we had to respond that it was still older than the oldest surviving European-style buildings in our country
China is both old and big. I had some Chinese colleagues over; we were discussing whether they wanted to see the Vasa ship (hugely expensive war ship which sank on it’s maiden voyage after 12 min). They asked if it was old, I said “not THAT old” (bearing in mind they were Chinese) “it’s from the 1500s.” To my surprise they still looked impressed, nodding enthusiatically. Then I realised I’d forgotten something: “…I mean it’s from the 1500s AFTER the birth of Christ” and they went “oh, AFTER…”.
My dad’s favorite quote from various tours in Italy was “Pay no attention to the tower – it was a [scornful tone] tenth century addition.”
when the actors you admired as a child give you reasons to keep admiring them as an adult
How most people with invisible illnesses are treated by health care “professionals”
The Golden Girls didn’t fuck around
pls watch
honestly i really appreciated this scene when I first saw it bc it took me like two years to get a diagnosis for what’s wrong with me
Dorothy: Dr. Budd?
Dr. Budd: Yes?
Dorothy: You probably don’t remember me, but you told me I wasn’t sick. Do you remember? You told me I was just getting old.
Dr. Budd: I’m sorry, I really don’t–
Dorothy: Remember. Maybe you’re getting old. That’s a little joke. Well, I tell you, Dr. Budd, I really am sick. I have chronic fatigue syndrome. That is a real illness. You can check with the Center for Disease Control.
Dr. Budd: Huh. Well, I’m sorry about that.
Dorothy: Well, I’m glad! At least I know I have something.
Dr. Budd: I’m sure. Well, nice seeing you.
Dorothy: Not so fast. There are some things I have to say. There are a lot of things that I have to say. Words can’t express what I have to say. [tearing up] What I went through, what you put me through—I can’t do this in a restaurant.
Dr. Budd: Good!
Dorothy: But I will!
Dr. Budd’s date: Louis, who is this person?
Dr. Budd: Look, Miss–
Dorothy: Sit. I sat for you long enough. Dr. Budd, I came to you sick—sick and scared—and you dismissed me. You didn’t have the answer, and instead of saying “I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong with you,” you made me feel crazy, like I had made it all up. You dismissed me! You made me feel like a child, a fool, a neurotic who was wasting your precious time. Is that your caring profession? Is that healing? No one deserves that kind of treatment, Dr. Budd, no one. I suspect had I been a man, I might have been taken a bit more seriously, and not told to go to a hairdresser.
Dr. Budd: Look, I am not going to sit here anymore–
Dr. Budd’s date: Shut up, Louis.
Dorothy: I don’t know where you doctors lose your humanity, but you lose it. You know, if all of you, at the beginning of your careers, could get very sick and very scared for a while, you’d probably learn more from that than anything else. You’d better start listening to your patients. They need to be heard. They need caring. They need compassion. They need attending to. You know, someday, Dr. Budd, you’re gonna be on the other side of the table, and as angry as I am, and as angry as I always will be, I still wish you a better doctor than you were to me.
Reblogging for any of my mutuals who’ve ever dealt with Dr. Budd.
“Shut up, Lewis”
Honestly. This how you know you getting old.
i know sia doesnt want to be seen but was all this necessary???😩😩😩
It was definitely necessary
Mirror’s Edge (EA DICE, 2008)
So is Sia like the coolest person to ever exist or something?? What kind of person comes standard with ninja moves
Isn’t she like 50
I’m the one that’s constantly changing it’s position
“Pap”
