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Local Problem

@cantabilechaos / cantabilechaos.tumblr.com

Jack of all trades, master of jacking Redbubble: cantabileChaos Etsy: cantabileChaosShop

E-Begging Again

I'm completely screwed this time as I wasn't able to pay any of my bills last month and now I only have 12 dollars to my name. I'm locked out of my credit card which could be very bad considering I have no cash either. I don't like to outright ask for money without giving anything in return, but I'm going to put my paypal here because I'm really desperate this time.

Commission Prices:

Flat/Simple Shading: 15-30 USD Sketch/Line Art: 10-25 USD Comic: 25-65 USD

(Message for better pricing explanation)

Credit Card Bill:

0/130 USD

Student Loans

0/445 USD

Trans people are so good at like instantly recognizing trans-coded characters (even if they’re unintentionally coded that way) off of like very specific little bits of relatable mannerisms it’s like watching a genius detective find clues no one else would ever notice but cis people wanna play along and are like “omg this character is such an egg” and it’s literally just a girl who likes sports

I’m kind of a loser but like in a cool way like the chronically unlucky and socially awkward yet lovable protagonist of a 2000s cartoon

I lost a lot of weight without realizing it and now my ass isn’t phat anymore 😔 send your thoughts and prayers

Having a secret tattoo/piercings feels like a much lower stakes version of being in the closet

Just cause I’m seeing some new discourse today I wanna say that while we absolutely need to talk about and work towards FIXING our incredibly fucked up mental healthcare system and stop stripping mentally ill and neurodivergent people of their autonomy I don’t like the growing anti-medication/anti-therapy/anti-recovery movements because while it is a huge struggle for a lot of people to find care that’s actually suited for them from people who treat them with respect I don’t think that purposely allowing yourself to be miserable forever and/or holding in all of your issues till they fester and turn into something worse is really an improvement over trying out different therapists till one clicks or joining communities to help you find actual suitable care like I absolutely understand if you’re someone with a highly stigmatized mental illness not wanting to trust any old office to help you because you could end up losing a lot of autonomy in your life if you get someone not qualified to treat you and they just dump you in a psych ward (which are just irredeemably evil places) but seeing so many young people go “there are huge flaws in the system therefore I will just embrace my debilitating mental illness and never try to get better” is so depressing like please don’t give in to the idea that constant anguish is your natural state

And another part of it I’m seeing is people going “don’t listen to people when they tell you you have to seek help no one is obligated to recover” and it’s like yeah it’s totally your choice and you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do but if the people in your life who love you are constantly asking you to get help it’s probably not because they secretly hate mentally ill people or want to fundamentally change you as a person it’s probably because they see you being miserable and self destructive and are incredibly worried about you or because you’re doing things that hurt them and then saying it’s because of your mental illness and it’s like yeah you never have to seek help or recover or improve in any way but people can only take being hurt so many times before they realize you’ve never done anything to stop yourself from hurting them and give up on you

One of the other big things is people saying like “I went to therapy for a couple months and it just made me feel worse because they made me relive bad things that happened to me” and it’s like yeah that’s part of it and it sucks but you can’t really get over shit without ever acknowledging it like there are certainly some crappy therapists out there but generally speaking I’m gonna say your therapist probably isn’t making you relive trauma because they’re just a sick fuck who likes seeing you suffer they’re doing it because that’s how therapy literally works and you can’t feel better by pretending nothing bad has ever happened to you like if you have an open wound and it’s infected you can’t just keep putting more and more bandaids on it and just pretend it’s not there till it goes away you have to actually get in there and clean it and put some antiseptic shit on it even if it stings and leaks puss everywhere and you have to keep doing that AND put on fresh bandaids till it heals otherwise it’ll just spread till you die or have to get a limb amputated

Just cause I’m seeing some new discourse today I wanna say that while we absolutely need to talk about and work towards FIXING our incredibly fucked up mental healthcare system and stop stripping mentally ill and neurodivergent people of their autonomy I don’t like the growing anti-medication/anti-therapy/anti-recovery movements because while it is a huge struggle for a lot of people to find care that’s actually suited for them from people who treat them with respect I don’t think that purposely allowing yourself to be miserable forever and/or holding in all of your issues till they fester and turn into something worse is really an improvement over trying out different therapists till one clicks or joining communities to help you find actual suitable care like I absolutely understand if you’re someone with a highly stigmatized mental illness not wanting to trust any old office to help you because you could end up losing a lot of autonomy in your life if you get someone not qualified to treat you and they just dump you in a psych ward (which are just irredeemably evil places) but seeing so many young people go “there are huge flaws in the system therefore I will just embrace my debilitating mental illness and never try to get better” is so depressing like please don’t give in to the idea that constant anguish is your natural state

I’m not religious but using BCE instead of BC is kinda dumb lol

Drawing porn commissions brings me a genuine joy that working a 9-5 could never give me

I like to say I “collect plushies” cause it makes it sound like an actual hobby like I’m collecting beanie babies or rare vintage stuffed animals as opposed to the reality which is I see cute stuffed animal and buy it so it can live in my room which is already crowded with almost every stuffed animal I’ve ever owned in my life like literally hundreds of them

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Oh but if I tried to open a PUSSY’S sporting goods how would that play out? 🤨

ohhhhum i don’t know…. sorry *puts my hands in my pocket* *walks away glumly *walks into a parking lot*seagull attack