Remember to always protect your own inner and mental peace: -do not feel obliged to engage with others, especially if you perceive them as toxic for you; -say no if you want to say no. For any reason, it's your choice. And don't think about the future outcomes or what others may think, think about how you feel about it now; it's always, everything, about the now, cause it's the present we're living. Stand your ground with no fear; -do not blame yourself for any reason, not even falling into old thought/behaviour's patterns or situations (you're trying your best, hiccups happens. With time, patience, practice and kindness you'll change whatever you want to change); -don't feel guilty nor blame yourself if you need to rest, it's okay, we all need that to function properly. We're humans; -you don't have to impress anyone to be accepted nor to be perfect (nobody is, btw): just be yourself always, good and bad, and be open about it (and willing to change if you -only you- feel like it's something that doesn't belong to you anymore).

My dad was dealing with some mixed feelings so I told him "In therapy when something is too complicated to do a simple 'pro and contra list' we sometimes do an excercise where you imagine all these mixed feelings around a table in some kind of conference, letting each tell their bit and you leading the debate."

and my dad didn't really respond and just stared ahead so I kept preparing lunch. Until a few minutes later when he suddenly piped up: "I am having a bad time at the conference"

Warsan Shire, from "Extreme Girlhood", Bless the Daughter Raised by a Voice in Her Head

People who have overcome childhood trauma often need as much information about current situations as possible. We've lived with so much uncertainty around areas that were out of our control, that having facts about areas helps us feel safe.

some harsh truths that needs to be heard;

- people have their own lives, sometimes they can’t focus on you and that’s okay!

- you are responsible for working on yourself and your bad habits!

- some of your behaviours are toxic, it’s okay to admit that!

- sometimes you can be manipulative, it happens. but you need to take responsibility for your actions!

these things do not automatically make you a bad person, your actions determine that.

i think thered be a lot less distress about trying to figure out ur identity if more people didnt try to keep a single identity label forever and just let themselves evolve and change over time tbh

its natural and normal for preferences to change over time and it doesnt necessarily invalidate old preferences and experiences, it just means something suits u better at this point in ur life and thats totally healthy and normal!

i used to be pan and now im not, but it was still true of me at the time! i used to be genderfluid and use she/her and now i dont but it was still true of me when i did! and im just as comfortable with my current identities as i was with my past ones. these are just as much a true part of me as my old identities were in the past. and i wish more people felt comfortable with the idea of letting themself change and evolve like that so less people felt like they had to commit to a single identity label forever

Listen I know this has been said time and time again but I need to say it myself. Not being able to access articles that do not demonize you is legitimately really dangerous. Trying to look up symptoms of NPD and coping with NPD and only getting narc abuse related articles is dangerous. Imagine trying to look something up in distress then immediately being told you're irredeemable. That's a terrible time to be told that. I remember trying to research NPD online and ended up having multiple anxiety attacks due to the things I saw.

If you want people to get better, let them get better. Let them recover. Let them learn about their condition without constantly being told that they're a menace to the world, that they're automatically abusive for their condition, ect. We're not trying to hurt you, we're trying to get better ourselves. Last of all, let other people learn about NPD without automatically running into stigmatizing things. Pwnpd need to be shown tolerance too.

being fragmented does not mean you’re broken.

you do not have to “become whole”. you already are.

When I first joined the DID community

Here’s what I didn’t know/understand/realise:

- my inner world shouldn’t be my main focus as I was escaping my reality

- I was an alter too

- Integration means to integrate trauma memories and not necessarily “get rid” of alters - it’s part of healing and it’s a choice for someone to make

- my alters didn’t need to ensure they were “completely different” from one another to be valid (that includes text dialect and likes/dislikes)

- Ollie didn’t need to use “Little speak” in order to fit in as a child part

- it’s okay to say “I don’t know why/how that happens but it does for me”

- it’s okay to not know an answer about the disorder/yourself - we are all learning

- I shouldn’t feel pressured into revealing my trauma history

- it’s okay to have realisations after you’ve announced different thoughts about what might be going on

I met someone recently who was starting out on their journey of allowing themselves to accept their DID and it brought back so many memories of all the little things that used to make me feel I had a set standard to live up to/that I was wrong for not understanding how it all worked and my focus may be in the wrong direction

Please don’t mock others and their experiences or shoot them down - instead, if you feel you need to give advice, please educate gently 💕 take into account this realisation might be a difficult thing to swallow and that it’s certainly a natural response for someone to get defensive when they’ve held a belief or concept for so long, or if they have a lack of understanding about the mechanics of it all - or you know what, even if someone says “I hear you, but this is what I feel is happening to me right now” that’s okay too! It can take time and sometimes it’s difficult to self reflect

No one has all the answers and we are all on a journey to heal 😊 let’s heal and work together!

No one should be expected to know everything ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it’s okay to get things muddled/wrong

Carrie Fisher, from The Princess Diarist.

I may never buy another form fitting dress, or new shoes that aren't sneakers. I may never again leave home without sunglasses, noise canceling headphones, and a mobility aid. And all of these are not only ok, but also good things. Making adjustments and working with myself according to my needs is how I can have an easier time in this abled neurotypical world. I'll do what it takes to make living more comfortable for myself, no hesitation and no shame.

why do ablebodied people act like they’re the only people who can have complicated relationships with their bodies, and that cripples need their permission to feel anything but love and joy and sparkles towards ours???

I can’t talk about my painful or gross or scary symptoms without some joke condescendingly telling me I should actually love my disabilities and illnesses and my body, because if I don’t, that makes it ok for ableists to be ableist.

no it fucking doesn’t!!! stop shoving respectability politics down everyone’s throat. some of us don’t live to impress and awe as many people as possible. some of us just want fucking healthcare

“I don’t think I’m disabled enough to use this mobility aid”

Ok so what if that’s true?

If you have a health condition that impacts your ability to function in one or more life areas, you’re disabled. If you’re disabled, you need help to live your best life.

Let’s say you choose a cane as a mobility aid, because you need help. If the cane doesn’t end up helping, then you don’t need to use it!

And so what if the cane only helps a little bit? It still helps and you deserve that little bit of help.

And so what if it only helps on some days? Dynamic disabilities are real and you don’t have to use the cane on the days you don’t feel like you need it.

And so what if the cane isn’t really helping you right now, but it’s helping you prevent injury or degeneration or fatigue? Bestie, that’s still HELP. I’d much rather you be less disabled and not rely on your mobility aid, than you damage yourself until you feel like you’ve earned it.

And so what if you don’t feel like the cane is really helping your disability directly, but it’s still useful in signaling to others that you’re disabled? That’s helpful and you deserve that.

If you’re disabled, you don’t need to be “disabled enough” for a mobility aid. If you’re disabled, you don’t need to rely and depend on your mobility aid in order to use it. If it helps mitigate you disability, fucking use the mobility aid.

No matter how bad things get, remember the good times. They will come back, you'll see. Never give up hope. Everything will be okay.