Please?!

seeing someone you know but arent friends with in public is the worst thing ever

FEELING LIKE YOU ANNOY THE ONLY PERSON YOU WANT TO TALK TO SUCKS

motherly love

*jumps over hole in sidewalk* yea you could say im pretty fucking athletic

i wish people had crushes on me 

I’ve probably scrolled more miles on my dashboard then I’ve ran

you’re under arrest for being so darn cute! haha! just joking we know you killed that man 

Life

FUCK science

okay now hold on a second

sorry I haven’t replied to ur texts I’ve been overwhelmed by literally anything that’s ever happened or will happen

This never happened. I don’t even live in your state.

… Its an anonymous message…

I order my food online.

somebody: i changed urls–

me, who hasn’t been able to recognize anyone on my dash for years:

My phone: *incoming call* Me: 🔫👀