reblog if you're a lil ugly and you fall in love with anyone who's kinda nice to you

non-gendered alternative to ‘welcome ladies and gentlemen’

its dj erectile disfunction on the beat

making sure yall go hard even though i cant

remember that short story they made you read in school called The Lottery where the whole town gets together and just stones a motherfucker at random what the fuck was up with that

what school did yall go to

Public School

Ok but it’s literally a classic piece of literature

me: how am i single

me: *emotionally detached, picky af, doesn’t go out at all, has disgusting habits, too shy to talk to anyone they find cute, etc.*

me: how am i single

you: its a shot glass

me: just a small cup in case you need a little sip of water

I’m falling to pieces

calum is the best thing that has ever happened in the whole universe

Please don’t coin a pathetic boy band member as the “best thing that has ever happened in the whole universe.” Please love yourself

calum is the best thing that has ever happened in the whole universe

He isn’t the best thing that’s ever happened. The formation of the universe was the best thing that’s ever happened because if there were no formation there would be no universe, thus life wouldn’t be created. Stop calling some bubblegum pop boy band member the greatest thing, because he isn’t.

calum is the best thing that has ever happened in the whole universe

NO HE ISN’T. Stop with this idiocy. He isnt the best thing that has ever happened so stop saying it! Jesus!

he is the universe

Philadelphia - 05/10

Detroit, Michigan - 26/06

yknow the reason why bisexuals are lgbt and het asexuals arent lgbt despite us both liking the opposite sex is because bi people, unlike het aces, ALSO like the same sex. its not fucking rocket science. dont even try this dumbass “ace exclusionism is just repackaged biphobia!” bullshit because it’s really not, like at all. leave bi people the hell alone

My grandma watching the episode of GameGrumps when Arin and Dan talk about us 😂

Our Roomba ate some dog shit and died a horrible death. It lived for 3 days. RIP Cleaningslut

Me after I cum and see the porn I was watching

I’m laughing so hard cause this is deadass what bees do 😂

Save them