ok but consider this: you should feel bad.

ok but consider this: i WILL eat you

So I met my 6, 8 and 9 year old cousins for the first time today and one of them asked me if I’m a girl or a boy and I told him both. The whole night they alternated between male and female pronouns and the only question they asked me was: “wait, if you’re a boy AND a girl, what color is your bike?” Kids are five hundred times more accepting than adults and it’s kinda sad.

so what color was your bike?

Let’s be fucking clear about this

fUCK YOU CHRIS HEMSWORTH

remember when the first time the audience saw bella swan she was just randomly clutching a cactus

remember vampires suck?

When men say, “I only fuck girls with tight pussies.”

Do you know what a tight pussy is?

An un-aroused pussy.

Your sex game weak.

Bye.

I’m glad this sentiment is gaining traction. Spread this shit like wildfire.

Go down a waterslide when it isn't wet and you'll understand why foreplay is so important.

geekscoutcookies:

This is the best explanation I’ve ever read.

And even with the foreplay…

That last gif has me in tears

so today i found out that i’m allowed to carry a knife with me to school as long as it’s smaller than 3 ½ inches but i still can’t show my shoulders and if thats not a perfect description of american schooling idk what is

COVER YOUR SHOULDERS WITH KNIVES

40+ year old men who seriously believe the young girls working at stores and restaurants are actually flirting with them just because the girls smile and are friendly are the most disgusting and terrifying things on this planet.

Keep telling yourselves that gay people are ruining marriage for everyone else

You've heard of gay best friend now get ready for

Straight worst enemy

The 1975 have the type of lyrics you want tattooed on your body

mmmsn fhifh mvoifhi,c like chocolate ngdsb

reblog if you’d rather have a golden retriever be president than donald trump

What kind of music will they play at Hayley and Chad’s wedding?

little kids are so creepy

example: i have a student who kisses me on the arm every day and whispers, “there, now you’ll live until tomorrow” and one day he didn’t kiss me and when he came to school the next morning he looked genuinely surprised to see me alive

beginning of joke

i honestly dont understand this joke and its frustrating me

Well, I guess you’re missing the

 I do have a remarkable tendency to miss the Juicy Juice Hypotenuse.

Can we always call it that oh my god

THIS WAS MY FAVORITE PART OF THE WHOLE MOVIE

There is no better post on this site.

When trains were introduced in the U.S, many people believed that that “women’s bodies were not designed to go at 50 miles an hour,” and that their “uteruses would fly out of [their] bodies if they were accelerated to that speed.”

I have so much respect for historical women not murdering every man they know