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HUSTLE

@californiapink69

champagne taste on a tap water budget
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awovoxo
“There’s so much more to life than finding someone who will want you, or being sad over someone who doesn’t. There’s a lot of wonderful time to be spent discovering yourself without hoping someone will fall in love with you along the way, and it doesn’t need to be painful or empty. You need to fill yourself up with love. Not anyone else. Become a whole being on your own. Go on adventures, fall asleep in the woods with friends, wander around the city at night, sit in a coffee shop on your own, write on bathroom stalls, leave notes in library books, dress up for yourself, give to others, smile a lot. Do all things with love, but don’t romanticize life like you can’t survive without it. Live for yourself and be happy on your own. It isn’t any less beautiful, I promise.”

— Emery Allen  (via perrfectly)

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poisoned-words
You went back though didn’t you? Even after you promised your best friends that you wouldn’t You went back just to remind yourself why you left in the first place Just to feel it all one more time You went back because you thought it would be different this time didn’t you? Even after your mother told you boys like him will never realise what they’ve done Tell me did he make your heart beat butterflies this time? Or was it the same old fire in the bottom of your stomach? The feeling you swore you could never handle a second time round Tell me where did running back to him get you? Was the breakdown in the school bathroom all worth it for one more day of feeling him? Was the second heartbreak anything like the first? Did it teach you anything about running back? Please tell me you’ve finally learnt that boys like him will always feed you poison? And girls like you will always swallow it whole

On running back to the boy that made me loose everything, in more ways that one (via poisoned-words)

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bl-letters-i-never-sent-deactiv
One day, you’ll remember the girl who loved you so much that she forgot to love herself. You’ll remember her when you wake up, when you eat, when you’re about to sleep. She will be your greatest nightmare. You will be the one crying, and she will be the one happy with someone else. One day, you’ll regret losing her. You lost the girl who did everything for you. You lost the girl who was always there for you when no one else is. You lost her because of your ego. You lost the girl who stayed by your side even if you threw harsh words to her. You lost the girl who tried to understand you when she needed you and you were not there. One day, you’ll realize that she was the one for you. The girl who stood by your side even if you don’t appreciate her. The girl you chose to let go because you’re full of pride. One day, you’ll realize that the girl you screwed up and left for another girl, was the girl who kept on fighting and defending you when she hears gossips about you. One day, you’ll see her happy and contented with the life she have when you left her. She will thank you for letting her go and for making her realize she is worth of something so much better, that there is someone out there who is willing to do everything for her. She will look into your eyes with no feelings for you at all. One day, when you see her, you will feel like you’ve been stabbed in your heart a millions times for giving up on her. And when that day comes, no matter what you do, no matter what you say to her, it will not make sense because she was already done spending years of her life trying to make you love her as she loved you…. But you didn’t.

(via mybpdfeelsdrivemeinsane)

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Falling in love with you was like making a deal with the devil. It’s like you came to me horns and all and whispered in my ear “I will make you fall for me, we will spend night after night cuddled up, I’ll tell you all that you want to hear, and when you really put your trust in me and fall deeply in love, I will leave. I won’t answer your messages, I’ll ignore you like you never existed, while I will continue happily on with my life without a thought of you.”

B.L letters I never sent (via bl-letters-i-never-sent)

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mothercr-eep
1. i can’t sleep. i’m dizzy with discomfort and i’m so sick inside that my stomach feels like a dryer, spinning round with a pile of clothes heavy with wetness inside of it 2. my throat is burning and i can feel hands gripping around it, strangling me so i can’t breathe properly, the hands are not really there so i can’t pull them off of me to let myself breathe again, it’s terrifying 3. my nails are chipped and broken- only about three nails actually still have a full layer of polish on them and a lot of my nails are completely naked, i haven’t changed my bed sheets in about a month, maybe two, all i’ve done today is sleep and my hair is matted from where i keep waking up sweaty from bad dreams 4. i can’t even hear myself think, there’s a thousand voices in my head and they’re all screaming at me to get outside so i can breathe again but i just can’t pull myself out of this dirty, messy bed 5. i had a shower earlier and i sat down, i didn’t realise i was blocking the drain until the water was up past my ankles 6. it’s nearly summer and it’s getting a lot warmer outside, but i can still feel myself shaking like i do in the cold, even though i’m sweating 7. earlier i forgot how to swallow, i cut up my toast into tiny little pieces and i chewed it and chewed it for ages but it wouldn’t go down my throat 8. i think i forgot how to breathe too, i can’t do it unconsciously anymore, i’m always aware of my chest rising up and down and the sharp pain of the air coming in and out of my lungs

i think i’m forgetting how to be a person (via mothercr-eep)

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25 things I learnt in the midst of my suffering 1- when push comes to shove you always only have yourself. 2- Those who promised to always be by your side through thick and thin are going to leave. 3- No boy is going to swoop in to come and save you, when it doesn’t work out you will be left crying harder than before on your bathroom floor. 4- You’re going to want to give up, but don’t. 5- Quit holding back, say what you need to even if you make a dick out of yourself at least you know you tried. 6- Put down the fucking bottle, why are you doing this to yourself? Do you really think drinking yourself unconscious is going to help. 7- Other people’s opinions do not define who you are, don’t let what they say about you get you down. 8- It’s okay to want attention but don’t go exploiting yourself for it. 9- Stop putting on an act for everyone, you don’t have to pretend every moment you’re around people to be happy, all you are doing is damaging yourself even more. 10- Your mood is going to go up and down, let it. Feel whatever the hell you’re feeling. 11- It’s okay to take a few days off school for your mental health, you come first, education second. 12- Love isn’t the way media portrays it to be, there is no happily ever afters only a broken heart and damaged trust. 13- You are not your depression or anxiety. It does not define you. There is so much more to you than the mess inside your head. 14- As you get older you’ll notice more people starting to leave, let them. You never need someone who doesn’t need you. 15- You don’t have to be like her for someone to love you, the right person will love you for who you are. 16- Not everyone’s intentions are good always remember that. 17- It’s not the end of the world just because a boy left you. 18- Never wear your heart on your sleeve, unless you want to get taken for granted. 19- Get up even when you don’t want to, get in the shower, life goes on. 20- Just cry, stop being so ashamed of your emotions, let it out, if you feel like you’re needing to hold it back you’re with the wrong people. 21- Don’t push people away because you’re scared, you can’t expect everyone to come running back. 22- Friends lie, boyfriends cheat, your parents will break you, it’s all apart of life. 23- Don’t beat yourself up to much over one bad grade, you are doing the best you can. 24- If you’re waiting for your phone to light up turn it off and leave it off for awhile, your unnecessarily breaking your heart every minute that goes by without their name coming up. 25- Try not to let fear paralyse you too much. Life is about taking chances.

B.L letters I never sent (via im-sad-lets-have-sex)

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story-teller01
I have never been anyone’s first choice. Not once in my life has someone ever looked at me and immediately wanted me. I am only ever someone’s choice when they can’t get what they want. That kind of thing guts you until you are hollow.

K.B. (via story-teller01)