Why This Exists
Out-of-character post
This microblog was founded in honor of Netflix’s incredible Deep Space Nine episode synopses. These were the greatest episode synopses ever written. It was clear that each of them was written by a Netflix employee who watched the first 60 seconds of each episode and wrote a synopsis based on that, and no other knowledge whatsoever. This made it impossible to ever be spoiled by reading a Netflix DS9 synopsis.
We enjoyed this a great deal when we started our rewatch. For example, as of 2016, the synopsis for Season One’s “Dax” ran as follows:
“After Chief O’Brien leaves for vacation, the station experiences malfunctions. But two people are watching Dax eat lunch.”
(Some fool updated it since then.)
The synopsis that finally started this blog, however, was the absolutely golden non sequitur used to summarize “The Maquis, Part II″:
“Sisko, Kira and Bashir are held in a Maquis camp... but Gul Dukat is not there!”
Where is he??? Nobody knows!!
And so this microblog set out to find him, somewhere in the Netflix episode synopses, someday, somehow.
Now -- because we live in a very stupid times, in which 1930s Paramount Consent Decrees have been revoked, the studio system is re-emerging, and everyone is so blithely used to monopoly corporate power that it never occurs to anyone to *prevent this* as our forefathers did, and even the people critical of corporate power are so bereft of economic imagination that they want to “dismantle capitalism” instead of New Dealing things back to health -- okay, that’s this account’s only political statement ever -- because of all this, Deep Space 9 is leaving Netflix forever to be held in the Paramount+ Vault instead. When it leaves Netflix, these beautiful synopses will be lost forever. So this account is transitioning from a celebration to a memorial.
But our search continues! We saved copies of the synopses. Because Gul Dukat is NOT there. He’s around here somewhere! We can’t wait to find him.
