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@butchmelody

Nadia she/her 18 Lesbian
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glass-clowns
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kittensnax

nothing in overwatch can ever compare to TF2 sprays

hey how come that furry in the diaper looks a lot like OP’s icon

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midiport

cats and girls will both be like woah youre pissing? can i come?

and my god the catgirls

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gendercents

You might not want to hear this but people with anger issues and/or violent impulses need social accommodations. And no by accommodation I don't mean walking on eggshells around them, actual accommodations for people with these issues comes down to giving them a space away from what's triggering them to process their emotions and calm themselves down same as what kind of accommodations people who get sensory overload or just any kind of overwhelmed. There is no moral value to having anger issues or violent impulses, people with them are deserving of accommodation the same as everyone else.

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psychoticallytrans

I had severe anger issues growing up, and the only way I was ever taught to deal with them was deep breathing. For some reason, deep breathing just triggers me to get angrier. But it's the only coping skill I ever got taught for it. Here's a few better ones.

  • Go and exercise. Get all of that energy out and away from the people you love.
  • Get a hang of when you're winding up to a rage and learn to tell people that you need to step away. I will warn you that the first time that someone refuses to let you go once you learn this skill will spook the hell out of you if you don't have a backup skill, so figure out ahead of time what you're gonna do if they won't let you leave.
  • Learn to set boundaries. One of the best things I ever did for my anger issues was tell people that I can't deal with people stealing food off my plate. Second best was when I'm mad, telling people not to touch me. I spook easily when I'm already angry.
  • Get a pack of pencils and if nothing is working, break one. Sometimes you really do need to break something in order to feel better, and pencils are cheap.
  • Don't cook with a knife when you're mad. If you get too much adrenaline, the knife can slip and hurt you.
  • If you have anger issues that pop up without any seeming reason and frighten you, I would strongly recommend going over the situation and over your mental health. If there's anything consistent with a mental health condition or with something particular happening to trigger it, seek to eliminate the trigger or treat the issue. Depression, anxiety, trauma, you name it, it can probably present as anger issues under the right circumstances.

Some quick notes for people without anger issues that want to help someone who has anger issues:

  • Fear transmutes into anger really, really well if someone's fear response is "fight". One of my guesses for why so many men have anger issues is that we're told we're not men if we have any other response to fear. However, this issue is far from exclusive to men.
  • Don't box people in when you're arguing with them or soothing them. If someone is backed up against a wall and upset, then getting closer to them without permission is a bad call for your safety and for their soothing, because that removes the ability to get away from you. Ask before getting close. This goes double if someone is injured or otherwise vulnerable.
  • Teaching angry people that are distressed about being angry the pencil trick on the spot is really easy and works more often than you can think.
  • Respect people's requests and boundaries. A lot of people think that some of the boundaries I set up are silly or that once we're pals, they can ignore them. No, because a lot of my boundaries are related to trauma, and crossing them will trigger me and bring up my anger.
  • All of this goes for children with anger issues as well. I was a child with anger issues, and a lot of disrespect for my boundaries and needs was because my anger was dismissed because I was a child. Respect children's anger.

Walking on eggshells is not and will never be a good way to treat anger issues. Recognizing that people with anger issues deserve to have their boundaries respected and to be treated like human beings is.

An end note: Anger issues are not the same thing as being abusive, because emotions are not abusive. Someone with anger issues can become abusive if they take them out on people, but so can someone with suicidal thoughts who takes them out on people. The issue is targeting another person in order to feel better, not having a mental health issue.

An end note for people with anger issues: It really can get better. You can find coping skills and perhaps meds that help cool you down and settle you. You can find people that will accept that doing that one weird thing spooks the fuck out of you, and will let you leave if you're scaring yourself. You can gain control of yourself without shutting down emotionally. It's achievable.

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this is the funniest god damn thing ive ever seen

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unyanizedcatboys
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spectrestephrogers

Here is my opinion as a recruiter (of course recruiting is highly subjective and everyone has their own biases in hiring)

1. If its your first job after a gap, don't say its a health reason. They will probably not ask more but they'll probably mentally downgrade you because 'Are they really okay to come back to work?' If it's further back, it'll be less of an issue. This goes triple for any job that is physical.

2. Depending on hiring person, I find 'I was caring for a family member full time' to be a good reason for a gap that I won't question.

3. If you have the opportunity while in a gap, get a certification or degree. Then you can use that as a reason for your gap and it could potentially turn the view of that gap from negative to positive.

4. If you have a "good" reason, most people understand. I speak to people daily who were a Covid layoff and we don't count this gap against them. I also sometimes talk to people who have to explain gaps around 2008 with "Well that was during the financial crisis" and I go say no more I understand.

4. If you don't have a "good" reason, pretend you do. Don't lie but make it sound like the gap was a thing you chose. "I had the opportunity after leaving my last job to take a few months before looking for work again." "I was able to work on building my home business (Ebay, etsy, etc), but now I'm looking for something more stable."

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toebeens

These are all really great and very helpful, thanks for sharing!!!

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ndiecity
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weaver-z

Imagine being a reverse Superman where you're really weak and struggle to keep up with your peers for your whole life until you learn that you're actually just from a race of aliens with comparatively shit body strength. This is the premise of Tarzan

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sadmemegf
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nil-number

Every time I get lower back pain at work I think about that scene from the incredibles where Mr. Incredible is being stretched by the giant robot and his back clicks in juuuust the right way and he laughs triumphantly and proceeds to tear the robot to pieces

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nil-number

God I wish that were me