“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”

not even risking that shit

scrolled past this, re-evaluated my life, then SCROOOLLLED back up and hit the damn reblog button. 

Last comment same thing. Sorry to the next person who sees this. I just can’t risk it. I have things I need to do before my life becomes hell. Lol

man i fucking hate yall who tf put this up knowing damn well we all gonna reblog it im heated im really sick af bout this 

I don’t play that shit lol sorry

WHyyyy

Sorry everyone

If only if only the woodpecker sighs the bark on the tree was as soft as the sky why the wolf waits below hungry and lonely he cries to the moon if only if only

Shiddd

this post followed me to Facebook and im sooo annoyed!

It’s been a MINUTE since I’ve seen Madame Zeroni, fr fr

I HATE TUMBLR FKKKK SAKES

LMAOOOO

Not tryna fuck up any of my planetary Returns~

One time I didn’t and I was broke for like a month but the next time I seen it I rebloged it and a bitch just got 500 out the blue and a 20 gift card

do I believe this? nope, not one bit

Am I gonna risk it because I don’t believe it? I ain’t dumb lol

Am I gonna risk

it because I don’t believe

it? I ain’t dumb lol

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

even haiku bot ain’t risking that shit lmao

This is an appreciation post for the fanfic authors who aren’t included on rec lists

For the fanfic authors who don’t get art of their fics

For the fanfic authors who can’t get to 1000/500/100 hits

For the fanfic authors who don’t get comments/reviews

For the fanfic authors who write for small fandoms

For the fanfic authors who write rarepairs or gen fics

For the fanfic authors who get hate for the ships/characters/fandoms they write

For the fanfic authors who write in English despite it not being their first language

For the fanfic authors who don’t write in English

For the fanfic authors who don’t think anyone reads or likes their work

For the fanfic authors who aren’t big name fans

For the fanfic authors who don’t get requests in their inboxes

For the fanfic authors who can’t write stories that are more than a thousand words

For the fanfic authors who only write one ship

For the fanfic authors who are just starting

For the fanfic authors who have been writing fic for years

For the fanfic authors who use fanfic to practice writing

For the fanfic authors who write self-insert fics

For the fanfic authors who write about their OCs

For the fanfic authors who write to vent or cope

For the fanfic authors who are just waiting for their big break

Keep creating, I love you ❤️

“i wish pokemon were real!”

beedrill is three feet tall

yeah but lets be real here if it meant I could live in a world with completely free healthcare and take tours across entire countries on foot with superpowered animal/else companions I would fight a hundred fucking beedrill at once naked with only a butter knife

as i say every time i see this post,

you can catch beedrill and earn the purest fucking love from its little bee heart with a muffin you earn playing a minute of yarn toss

beedrill is not your enemy

Let’s think about life in the Pokemon world for a minute…

First of all, there’s universal free healthcare across the planet. That’s more that a lot of places in our world can say. Moreover, fresh water on this world is apparently so nutrient-rich that it can cure moderate injuries, to say nothing of what berries can do. Therefore, the inhabitants of this world are probably very physically healthy, and those with disabilities (who by default cannot be “healthy”) don’t have to worry about losing their healthcare due to lack of money.

Politics-wise, there isn’t much of a government. Despite this, the world seems relatively peaceful. Private individuals, some as young as eleven, can be expected to deal with crime themselves. War has occurred in the past, but the general political sentiment appears to be very anti-war - cruelty is strongly frowned upon.

Economically, it’s true that there are some people with economic issues - like that one dude in Mauville Hills in ORAS - but generally there doesn’t seem to be a whole lot of homelessness or poverty. Some people are more well-off than others - vastly so in some cases - but largely poverty doesn’t seem to exist.

Then there’s the wildlife.

Strange, supernatural creatures of unknown origin and great power populate this planet. An unarmed adult human is no match for even one of these creatures. But the vast majority of the wildlife is extremely friendly to the point where it’s almost all domesticated. Small children are given these creatures as companions and allowed to go out into the open world with them, as they will be safe and able to survive. 

Even the scariest of these monsters can be tamed with love and care. Beedrill will love you if you toss yarn at it, sure. So will things like Gyarados, Hydreigon, and the Pokemon equivalent of Lucifer. No Pokemon is untameable so long as you are kind to it.

This in turn has fostered a culture of kindness. It is infinitely more rewarding to be kind to the living creatures around you. Those who are cruel are quickly steamrollered by those who build up close, loving bonds. Even then, a lot of people are concerned that this society of love and kindness is somehow too cruel (to the point where it was the entire plot of gen V).

That love and kindness is extended to all humans. People trust random strangers who walk into their homes. Items are randomly just given out on the street, often for no reward beyond a warm fuzzy feeling. Almost comical levels of generosity and acceptance are expected on this planet. And if you decide to betray that and take advantage of people…

Well, I hope you like having your ass kicked by an adorable eleven-year-old with a nice hat and a yarn-loving Beedrill.

THIS IS SO NICE

I LOVE THIS POST

fun fact, a myth in the pokemon world (specifically DPP) states that pokemon where worried about humans surviving on there own! so they all spoke about how to look after these squishy notpokemon, and they came up with the idea to be companions and friends. so whenever a human that’s trustworthy walks into the grass they present themselves, if a human earns there respect in battle they will aid that human as long as they are needed every pokemon that appears in cave, surfing and tall grass canonically wants to be your friend also unless you use a master ball if a pokemon does not want to be caught It Can’t Be. it’s only by showing of your skill in battle that a pokemon will want to join you. so even legendaries want to be your friend!! that’s why some legendary Pokemon (usually ones who present themselves to you) have low catch rates! they respect you and understand you can use there skill for good!

edit cause i remembered: this could also be used to explain why traded pokemon can disobey you, you didn’t earn the respect of there actual trainer and so you have to have the right skill level (badges, island challenges) for them to listen and trust you

This whole thing is so pure and way better than “Pokemon is superpowered dogfighting!” or whatever.

Uhh, hi. My name's Holly. Yeah, I know, it's so... Christmasy. But unlike the plastics in the school dance committee, I'm not exactly feeling warm and jolly about the winter formal. My boyfriend Darren dumped me like a stocking full of coal over Thanksgiving Break to go out with my ex-best friend, and my new crush is super-hottie football star Nicholas Mistletoe. He doesn't even know I'm alive, and if he did, why would he want to go out with me--the daughter of Krampus? I guess it's true what they say--holidays are Hell. *Fall Out Boy's "Yule Shoot Your Eye Out" plays*

Holly, into her Blackberry phone: And they scheduled the winter formal for Christmas Eve. My dad expects me to hang out with him all evening at his job. What am I supposed to do?

Her quirky best friend, Chrissy Claus, on the other end of the line: Have you ever considered, like... talking to your dad about this stuff?

Holly: Your dad is literally the jolliest man alive. Mine is straight from the Fifth Circle of the underworld. Connect the dots?

Chrissy: Yeah, yeah. Look, it's not all sugarplums and candy canes here, either. Dad gets suuuper stressed. He doesn't even have time to listen to the carols I write. Hey, you're still going to perform with me, right?

*Holly collides with Nick. The hot cocoa she's carrying flies back in her face.*

Chrissy: ...Holly?

Holly, strangled: Uhm... TTYL?

Holly: Nick... are you sure it's cool if I keep your jacket during lunch like this?

Nick: Hey, yeah. Listen, I totally wasn't looking where I was going. I don't want you to have to walk around with a messed-up shirt all day.

Holly: No, I mean... would it be cool with your girlfriend?

Nick: Oh, Crystal? I'm sure she'd be fine with it. She's not so scary, when you get to know her. *He sounds unsure of himself.*

V.O.: That had about as much chance of being true as a snowball had of staying frozen in Miami, but Nick made it somehow... believable. Ugh. I'm in way too deep.

Nick: Hey, do you want to maybe have lunch with us? You know, just if you're not, like, busy or anything.

Holly: Wait, seriously? I mean...

*She tucks a strand of hair behind her horns and looks at the popular kids' table.* *Several beautiful girls sit there, reapplying lip gloss.*

Holly: I'd... well...

*Holly looks back toward her previously-established friend group consisting of Chrissy Claus, an obligatory flamboyant gay guy, and a nerd to show that they're the misfit crowd.* *Chrissy gives her a thumbs-up and a smile.*

Holly: I'd love to!! Uh, I mean... sounds cool, yeah. Whatever. *Britney Spears' "My Only Wish This Year" plays*

*Holly finishes washing her face in the school bathroom and looks up.* *Crystal and her obligatory posse of popular girls stand behind her*

V.O.: At that moment, I stopped caring about Nicholas, my dad's freaky job, and how messed up my life was. Mostly because I was too busy watching that life flash in front of my eyes.

Holly: Okay, listen, if this is about lunch, I--

Crystal, cheerily: Hi! I'm Crystal. I feel like we didn't really get to know each other earlier, so me and the girls thought you could come with us to the mall.

Holly: ...come again?

Snow Angel 1: It's just... you have great skin, and you don't even look that weird right now. Which says something. Crystal's dad gave her his credit card, and we could totally get you something to replace the mom jeans.

Holly, anxious: I don't know about this.

Snow Angel 2: Oh, and we're going to Nick's place after the mall, if you want to come.

Holly: Yes! I mean--

Crystal: Great! But first, I have a sweater in my car that could replace... that.

Holly: What I'm wearing now? But Chrissy bought this for me last year.

Crystal: Aww, she's so sweet. But come on. I mean, black and red? Goths went extinct in the 90's, honey. Let me take care of that.

Holly: I--

Crystal: We'll get you something cute for Nick's party today. Trust me.

*She examines Holly's face with a critical eye and a perfectly lip-glossed smile.*

Holly: ...okay. Sure. It's old, anyway, right?

Crystal: Oh, sweetie, of course it is. Follow us.

*Aly and AJ's "Greatest Time of Year" plays* *Montage of Holly hanging out with the popular girls at the mall, school, and parties* *Minimum of three shots of Holly's friends looking lonely are included* *Shot #4 is of sad Chrissy on the eve of the school's winter talent show*

Chrissy: Come on, come on, pick up...

Gay best friend Jesse Cross: Oh, honey, she's not coming.

Chrissy, tearfully: But I can't perform our duet without her!

Jesse: There's always next year?

Chrissy: That's not true...

Jesse: I know, girl. Let's tell the MC you can't go on tonight. I'll buy you cocoa and give Holly a piece of my damn mind tomorrow.

Chrissy: I'll just try to call her, one more time...

*Holly is at Crystal's house* *Her phone rings on the table* *Crystal snags it and shuts it off before Holly notices*

Holly: Did you hear something?

Crystal: Some nobody.

Holly: Come again?

Crystal, brightly: Nope. Nothing. Hey, I'm bored--let's take my dad's cruiser out. It even has enough room for your... *She indicates Holly's horn situation vaguely*

Holly, hesitant, as though she's forgetting something: Uhh... sure.

Holly: You let me miss the talent show... on purpose?

Crystal, leaning against the gym wall with her posse: Uh, yeah. Thought that was obvious, Morticia.

Snow Angel 1: Is there a legit reason you're being a total b-word right now, or...?

Holly: Are you freaking kidding me? Chrissy is my friend. My BEST friend. Something you three wouldn't understand.

Crystal: I understand that you're a whiny, ungrateful weirdo who would rather cry about missing a talent show than hang out with the only people in school anyone cares about. Yeah. I get it.

Holly: Seriously?!

Snow Angel 2: Listen, charity case. If you think we were being such sweethearts to you for any reason other than to look good in front of Nick, you're out of your mind.

Crystal: Read my lips, sugarplum: you're a freak who knows she's a freak, and before we pulled you out of the depths of loserville, you hung out with freaks.

Holly: I... I...

Nick: ...Crystal?

*Crystal startles* *The Snow Angels' mouths drop open in unison*

Crystal: Um... hi, sweetie!

Nick: No. Don't do that. We're not doing that. Why were you saying that terrible stuff to Holly?

Crystal: W-we were just... *She looks for support from her squad* *They look the other way* Why are you even here?

Nick: I don't know. I got a text from a hidden number telling me to come to the gym after school..? Whatever. Doesn't matter. Crystal, I should have done this a while ago. We're done.

Crystal: WHAT?!

Nick: Holly, do you... need a ride home?

*Crystal is too horrified and furious to speak* *Holly wipes a tear, then blushes*

*Outside the gym, Jesse Cross listens in, satisfied*

*He looks at his screen, where an anonymously-sent text to Nick sits*

Jesse: The Lord works in mysterious ways, bitch. *"8 Days of Christmas" by Destiny's Child plays*

Nick: Holly! Wait!

Holly: Nick?

*Nick skids to a stop with his hockey skills; he is on every sports team*

Nick: Listen, I still feel really bad about what happened. You know I don't think that about you, right?

Holly: Of course I do.

Nick: I think you're really cool. And, um... if you're not doing anything on Christmas Eve... I want you to come to the dance with me.

*Small gasp from the other students waiting to be picked up after school*

Holly: Nick, I... I'd love to.

*The crowd cheers* *Chrissy smiles from the crowd, happy for Holly* *Nick goes to hug Holly, then freezes*

Off-screen ominous voice: ℌ𝔢𝔶, 𝔫𝔬𝔴. 𝔜𝔬𝔲'𝔯𝔢 𝔣𝔬𝔯𝔤𝔢𝔱𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔰𝔬𝔪𝔢𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔤, 𝔞𝔯𝔢𝔫'𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲, 𝔰𝔴𝔢𝔢𝔱𝔦𝔢?

*Holly whirls around* *Her dad stands on the curb behind her*

V.O.: You know that feeling you get when you wake up from a nightmare, and everything's okay? Yeah. Try the opposite of that.

Holly: D-dad, please, it's actually important to me this year. My friends, Chrissy, Nick, they're all going--

Krampus: 𝔇𝔬𝔫'𝔱 𝔰𝔱𝔞𝔯𝔱 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔪𝔢, 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔤 𝔩𝔞𝔡𝔶. 𝔜𝔬𝔲 𝔫𝔢𝔢𝔡 𝔱𝔬 𝔩𝔢𝔞𝔯𝔫 𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔱𝔯𝔞𝔡𝔢, 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔪𝔢𝔞𝔫𝔰 𝔫𝔬 𝔴𝔦𝔫𝔱𝔢𝔯 𝔣𝔬𝔯𝔪𝔞𝔩.

Nick: Mr. Nacht, I think you should consider what she's saying.

Krampus: ℑ'𝔳𝔢 𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔰𝔦𝔡𝔢𝔯𝔢𝔡 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔯𝔢𝔧𝔢𝔠𝔱𝔢𝔡 𝔦𝔱. 𝔖𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔰𝔣𝔦𝔢𝔡? *He extends a hand to Holly* ℭ𝔬𝔪𝔢, 𝔫𝔬𝔴. ℑ𝔱'𝔰 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔱𝔴𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔶-𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔯𝔡. 𝔓𝔯𝔢𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫𝔰 𝔞𝔯𝔢 𝔦𝔫 𝔬𝔯𝔡𝔢𝔯.

Holly, sadly taking her father's hand: I'll... see you next year, Nick.

Chrissy: Mr. Nacht, we won't let you--

*A whirl of hellfire erupts around Holly and her father* *They vanish*

Chrissy: --do this.

Krampus: 𝔖𝔬 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔥𝔞𝔳𝔢 𝔱𝔬 𝔯𝔞𝔱𝔱𝔩𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔦𝔫𝔰 𝔞 𝔩𝔬𝔱 𝔱𝔬 𝔞𝔫𝔫𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔠𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔞𝔯𝔯𝔦𝔳𝔞𝔩, 𝔞𝔫𝔡... 𝔦𝔱 𝔡𝔬𝔢𝔰𝔫'𝔱 𝔰𝔢𝔢𝔪 𝔩𝔦𝔨𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲'𝔯𝔢 𝔭𝔞𝔶𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔞𝔱𝔱𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫.

Holly: Gosh, Dad, don't know why I wouldn't be paying attention when you took me away from my friends to help you scare children into behaving.

Krampus: ℑ'𝔳𝔢 𝔥𝔞𝔡 𝔢𝔫𝔬𝔲𝔤𝔥 𝔬𝔣 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔞𝔱𝔱𝔦𝔱𝔲𝔡𝔢, 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔤 𝔩𝔞𝔡𝔶. 𝔒𝔲𝔯 𝔧𝔬𝔟 𝔦𝔰 𝔠𝔯𝔦𝔱𝔦𝔠𝔞𝔩 𝔱𝔬 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔰𝔲𝔠𝔠𝔢𝔰𝔰 𝔬𝔣 𝔱𝔥𝔢 ℭ𝔥𝔯𝔦𝔰𝔱𝔪𝔞𝔰--

*A red Volkswagen Beetle rolls up at top speed and screeches to a halt* *It's blasting NSYNC's "Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays"*

Holly: Chrissy? Jesse?!

Krampus: 𝔚𝔥𝔞𝔱.

Chrissy: Holly, you're coming with us.

Holly, tearing up: I... guys, I'm sorry, I can't.

Chrissy: Oh, for Jesse's dad's sake... *She exits the car and slams the door* Mr. Nacht, your daughter's coming with us.

Krampus: 𝔒𝔲𝔱 𝔬𝔣 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔮𝔲𝔢𝔰𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫. 𝔏𝔦𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔫 𝔱𝔬 𝔪𝔢, ℭ𝔩𝔞𝔲𝔰𝔡𝔬𝔱𝔱𝔦𝔯--

Chrissy: No, you listen to me! It's Christmas Eve, and your daughter has a chance to be the happiest she's ever been. You may be from the Fifth Circle, but you can't convince me you've never understood what being in love is like.

*Krampus pauses, then looks at a photo he keeps in his wallet* *It's a picture of Satan, whom he's gay married to*

Krampus: ℑ 𝔥𝔞𝔳𝔢 𝔟𝔢𝔢𝔫 𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔰𝔥, 𝔥𝔞𝔳𝔢𝔫'𝔱 ℑ, ℌ𝔬𝔩𝔩𝔶?

Holly: ...maybe a little?

Krampus: ℑ 𝔤𝔦𝔳𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔪𝔶 𝔟𝔩𝔢𝔰𝔰𝔦𝔫𝔤. 𝔊𝔬 𝔱𝔬 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔰 "𝔴𝔦𝔫𝔱𝔢𝔯 𝔣𝔬𝔯𝔪𝔞𝔩" 𝔦𝔣 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔰𝔬 𝔴𝔦𝔰𝔥 𝔦𝔱. 𝔊𝔬𝔬𝔡-𝔟𝔶𝔢.

*Holly tears up and hugs her father* *She then runs and hugs Chrissy, who squeaks in surprise and then laughs*

Jesse: Let's go, bitches! The night is young! And I still have to get you a dress, honey. You're not rolling up to the formal in combat boots.

Holly: Oh, ah, right! *She and Chrissy snap apart, then pile into the car*

Chrissy: There he is!

*Nick stands in the middle of a crowd of dancers, but has no one to dance with... until he sees Holly*

Holly: Oh my god. Do I look okay?

Chrissy: Gorgeous. Go get him, tiger.

*Holly moves toward him* *Chrissy watches her go* *Jesse puts a hand on Chrissy's arm and snaps her out of it*

Nick: Holly! I thought you couldn't come!

Holly: Hey, Christmas miracle, I guess. Come on. *She smiles, tucks a strand of hair behind her horns, and begins to dance with him* *Toni Braxton's "Snowflakes of Love" plays*

*All eyes are on the couple* *Nick spins Holly, then pulls her into a kiss* *They pull apart, but there's something missing--a spark* *Both of them look lost*

Holly: I'm... I have to go pee. Uh. Now.

Nick: Uh... yeah, sure. Go ahead.

*Holly runs to the bathroom* *She bursts in and washes her face, shaking her head*

V.O.: I'd won. I had everything I wanted: Nick, right in front of me, gorgeous and single and everything. And my stupid brain wouldn't let the night feel normal.

Attractive Girl in Scene Fashion: You look lost.

V.O.: ...or maybe it had just been trying to send me gut signals that something was seriously up.

*Holly looks at the attractive girl* *Recognition dawns*

Holly: ...Crystal?!

Crystal: So... I wanted to say sorry. About being a jerk.

Holly: Who are you and where's Crystal?

Crystal: Uh... surprise! I am Crystal. I know it's hard to believe, but it's me.

Holly: What happened?!

Crystal: After Nick dumped me, I lost my squad and spiraled pretty hard. It took a lot of soul-searching bullshit to realize that I had been living my life the way my dad expected me to: dating the popular guy, wearing Prada to freaking high school.

Holly: Always thought that was weird.

Crystal: It wasn't me. And I was... miserable. So, even though I'm still sad about everything I did... I think I'm going to be a lot happier now. I dunno. How's your night with Nick?

Holly, hesitant: Um...

Crystal: What's wrong?

*Holly pauses*

Holly: I... I don't know. I've been hoping for this for so long, and now that it's here, I don't feel right. Nick's nice, and he's cute, but... I...

Crystal: I think we were in the same boat.

Holly: How?

Crystal: More into the idea of Nick than the actual guy. I mean, seriously, how much do you know about him?

Holly: ...he likes sports?

Crystal: Listen, Holly, love isn't about thinking someone's hot and nothing else. It's more than that. Love's about... showing up when someone needs you, sharing everything, being there no matter what. God, this is lame of me. Sorry.

Holly, realizing something: Huh. I... wow. You put that surprisingly well.

Crystal: Something else on your mind?

Holly: Yeah. There's someone I need to find. *She rushes out*

Jesse: Listen, trust me, I get it.

Chrissy: Yeah, I know, and I really am happy for her. It's just... kinda hard.

*Holly runs out of the dance* *She sees Chrissy and Jesse* *Jesse notices her first*

Jesse: Hey, Chrissy, I just realized that I totally forgot my shoes in the gym.

Chrissy: But you're wearing--

*Jesse takes off his heels and chucks them into the dance* *He runs in after them*

Holly: Chrissy?

Chrissy: Oh! Hey, Holly! What are you doing here? Where's Nick?

Holly: Uh, he's... he's at the dance...

Chrissy: Then shouldn't you be..?

Holly: Chrissy, I like Nick, but that's it. Sure, he's hot, and he's great with a hockey stick, but the connection's not there.

Chrissy: What are you saying?

Holly: I'm saying that... here goes... there's someone else I want to go to the dance with.

*Chrissy blinks, then realizes*

Chrissy: Really?

Holly: Really. Like, really really. Chrissy, you're the most amazing person I know, and you're really freaking pretty, and...

*Chrissy cups Holly's face, grinning* *Holly blushes and shuts up*

*They kiss* *Holly's tail waves* *Christina Aguilera's "This Christmas" swells in the background*

Chrissy: That was--

Holly: Uh, a Christmas miracle?

Chrissy: Okay, yeah, but I wouldn't have expected you to say something that cheesy.

Holly: Miracle's not over. You know the DJ, Aurora? She owes me a favor.

*Smash cut to Krampus reading a text from Holly* *It reads "SKIP THE BOREALIS HOUSE PLS THX <3 U DAD"* *He huffs, but smiles*

Chrissy, hand over her mouth: Do you mean..?

Holly: I wasn't there for you during the talent show, but I'm going to be here for you from now on. How about a duet?

*Chrissy takes her hand* *They re-enter the gym for the dance* *The song they perform is, you're goddamn right, "All I Want for Christmas is You"*

*During the performance, Jesse, who is going wild with support, trips* *Nick catches him in his arms for the sequel tease*

V.O.: So, yeah. My name's Holly. It's Christmasy, and I'm... cool with that. I'm not the most popular girl in school, and I didn't get a prince charming, but I got something more important: the coolest girlfriend in the world. Someone amazing enough to make me believe--ugh, here goes--that holidays might not be Hell. So au revoir, sayonara, good night, and Happy Holidays from me and Chrissy.

*Fade to black* *Credits sequence is set to "Deck the Halls" by Relient K and "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" by the Barenaked Ladies ft. Sarah McLachlan*

Happy anniversary to the greatest Christmas movie ever created exclusively through tumblr posts!

I decided to start from the scene where the Bagon originally landed on the log.

Okay, was about to land on it. Point is, it’s the same log Ash threw. Now, Bagon is about 2 ft tall, and since he’s directly above the log, I can get an accurate measurement.

(That was as good as I could get on iPhone Photoshop.) Okay, so the log is 6.5 Bagons long. Multiplying that by two, it’s 13 feet. Now, the calculator I was using required diameter on both ends. I’d say the log’s diameter is fairly consistent all the way around, so I only needed to find one end. For that, I used this image.

The Bagon is a bit far away, but I think the log has roughly the diameter of the height of a Bagon. Two feet, which translates to 24 inches.

Now if you have looked at the top, there was only one thing left I needed to input. Doing some further episode watching, I found the trees in the area looked similar to cottonwood trees. (No image available because I was a tired shit from doing all of that math and bad Photoshopping, so I didn’t take a picture. The episode is called Pinch Healing if you are a tree expert and want to see for yourself. Also, keep in mind that I am anything but a tree expert. All I did were a few Google searches.) So I put in that the tree was cottonwood, and here is the result:

Satoshi/Ash Ketchum, a ten year old boy, almost effortlessly picked up, ran with, and tossed a log that weighed an astounding 1,385 pounds (or about 628.23 kilograms)!

1,385 pounds

The strongest Pokemon we never knew

Surely by now, we all know this boy goes to the gym

Technically he goes to several gyms

how does he even let team rocket steal his pikachu at this point when he could break their sternums with his index finger

I REGRET EVERY INSULT I’VE EVER SAID ABOUT ASH IN MY LIFE

i heard ash ketchum has an 8 pack, that ash ketchum is shredded

@pokemonheritageposts

Pokemon Heritage Post

“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”

not even risking that shit

scrolled past this, re-evaluated my life, then SCROOOLLLED back up and hit the damn reblog button. 

Last comment same thing. Sorry to the next person who sees this. I just can’t risk it. I have things I need to do before my life becomes hell. Lol

man i fucking hate yall who tf put this up knowing damn well we all gonna reblog it im heated im really sick af bout this 

I don’t play that shit lol sorry

WHyyyy

Sorry everyone

If only if only the woodpecker sighs the bark on the tree was as soft as the sky why the wolf waits below hungry and lonely he cries to the moon if only if only

Shiddd

this post followed me to Facebook and im sooo annoyed!

It’s been a MINUTE since I’ve seen Madame Zeroni, fr fr

I HATE TUMBLR FKKKK SAKES

LMAOOOO

Not tryna fuck up any of my planetary Returns~

One time I didn’t and I was broke for like a month but the next time I seen it I rebloged it and a bitch just got 500 out the blue and a 20 gift card

do I believe this? nope, not one bit

Am I gonna risk it because I don’t believe it? I ain’t dumb lol

Am I gonna risk

it because I don’t believe

it? I ain’t dumb lol

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

even haiku bot ain’t risking that shit lmao

peach-n-key:

THE SUN IS WEAK TO FIRE

REBLOG TO SUPPORT OC X CANON SHIPPERS

They are valid and deserve more appreciation

Another Yugioh opinion for today. Why the fuck was Serena not brought to Xyz? Is it because the writers for Arc V were drunk off their asses? Because they didn't know how to write good female characters? Because they were on the second to last arc and burnt out? Who knows. What I do know is that it was a wasted opportunity. Serena as a character has been defined by her realising how evil Academia is and breaking free of the brainwashing its inflicted on her and thousands of other Academia soldiers so why wasn't she in the Arc where that was a main plot point?!

Not only that Serena actually seeing Heartland is perfect potential for angst, she's litteraly seeing the results of everything she used to believe in which is effectively genocide. Her interacting with Sayaka, Kaito, Allen and Shun in this situation would be fascinating to watch we could of seen her interact with Edo and be a foil to him, both have been heavily brainwashed by Academia but Serena broke that conditioning while Edo struggles with it. Her helping him and other Academia soldiers change along with Yuya would be a lot more interesting then just him doing it, seriously though why did he get a sudden case of Jaden syndrome by the Xyz arc?!, but that's a topic for another day. In conclusion Serena was wasted and I hated that considering how much potential her character had especially in later arcs. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

Good idea. I wished we saw more of her (& the other B-Girls really) than what we just got ⊙︿⊙

The fact all we saw of the girls after that was them brainwashed by the biggest piece of shit in Yu-Gi-Oh and then killed by the biggest hypocrite in Yu-Gi-Oh...the last half of Arc V was fucking garbage. There was so much potential wasted.

They made Ruri and Rin extras for the entire show and basically killed them off after they were brainwashed. The fact they killed Serena despite how good a character she was genuinely upset me. Why make these characters in the first place if they were going to do nothing and die?

I'll definitely be fixing this in any fics I write.

if you don’t know the difference between a hare and a rabbit you’ve never gazed into the cold wild eyes of a hare and known that if it could speak it would speak backwards

Jack Rabbits are North American Hares and they’re the WORST to encounter at night becuase:

@gallusrostromegalus that last bit gave me such a strong mental image I absolutely had to draw it

WELL HOLY SHIT.

CONGRATULATE, THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I WAS GOING FOR.

is it ok if I print it out and stick it on the fridge?

Well this zoomed past 100K while I wasn’t looking but here’s a Picture of Charleston Chew, Terror of Wild Hares and Sometimes Bears:

Found this post again and thought you all might like the update that Mr. Charleston Chew is doing well and has added raccoons, bobcats, deer, elk, cattle, snakes, another bear, a whole pack of coyotes and a pronghorn antelope at roughly mach fuck to his list of animals he will chase down without fear of God nor consequences.

Here he is in his favorite bed, the one we got for the cat

i jumped out of bed in a cold sweat to make this

id: first image is the tumblr halloween icon, which depicts a skeleton-like ghoul in a spooky red robe. the second image is the same ghoul, now photoshopped to look like they're dabbing. end id

id: tags that read, “make her tpose.” end id.

On it boss

id: image of the same icon, now with the ghoul t-posing. end id.

Id: tag you that reads “let’s get this to 69k before Halloween people.” End id

LET ME LIVE

i was inspired

"In the 70s it was black and minority ethnic people, in the 80s it was gay people, trans people are just the latest to get it in the neck from comedians who can't be bothered to try at their jobs anymore. I cannot stand there and watch another dogshit comedian go: 'Ooohh if a woman can identify as a man, maybe I'll identify as a chair!' Why don't you identify as good comedians, you hack motherfuckers?!"

- Nish Kumar: "It's In Your Nature To Destroy Yourselves pt.2"

Yeah but you need to actually hear the full clip and the fury and passion and glee (because he knows he's nailing them) in his voice. (Wish I could find the audio somewhere other than Twitter, but I can't.

here it is!

Transcription:

It’s a fucking piece of shit! The first ten minutes are shit comedy. No judgments, we’ve all done that, some of us are doing it right now. But then the next ten minutes is just him having a go at trans people! Guys, why is everyone so angry with trans people? What did they do, there’s like twelve of them! Why is everyone so upset? Everyone’s like “oh, do you say he or she” - I dunno, ask, it’s not an unsolvable conundrum! Also, in my experience, trans people are not deliberately mysterious when you do ask, it’s not like you ask and they go, “OOOooOoooOooh, oooOooOOoh I’ll never teeeell~!” You’re thinking of poltergeists!

And there are a lot of people, to be fair most of them cisgender heterosexual men, who say things like this: “Oh, if you let trans women use women bathrooms, then they’ll do sex attacks!” Now there’s a few problems with that. Firstly, to be fair, they don’t say ‘do sex attacks’. Secondly, trans people are overwhelmingly the victims of sexual violence moreso than they are the perpetrators of it by an unbelievably large amount. And thirdly, do you honestly think if there is someone out there willing to commit a sex attack, arguably THE worst thing one human being can do to another, do you honestly think if there is someone out there, regardless of their gender identity, who has done the logical gymnastics required in going into thinking that you can perpetrate the worst thing one human being can do to another, do you honestly, do, do you think they’re currently being put off by a sign on a door? This has never happened: “Oh I’m gonna do such a big sex attack, why it’s gonna be the biggest sex attack, why it’s gonna be the big sex—oh sorry I didn’t realize this was the ladies’.” THAT’S NEVER HAPPENED!

FUCK Ricky Gervais! FUCK Ricky Gervais! Because what he’s doing is not edgy or interesting. He seems to think that it makes him an edgy or interesting comedian. It’s not, all he is is just the same as every other rich white dude comedian who gets too successful, runs out of ideas, and tries to shit on the latest minority group. In the 1970s that was my fucking family, it was black and brown minority ethnic people, in the 80s it was gay people, trans people are just the latest to get it in the neck from comedians who can't be bothered to try at their jobs anymore. I cannot stand there and watch another dogshit comedian go, “Ooohh if a woman can identify as a man, maybe I'll identify as a chair!” Why don't you identify as a good comedian, you hack motherfuckers?!

Bat Love

A love story between a zubat and a woobat

by © FinalHearts10

http://finalhearts10.deviantart.com/art/Bat-Love-354345774

This is ridiculously cute and adorable.

What to do if you suddenly find yourself homeless

FOOD

SHELTER

HYGIENE

OTHER

Reblog to literally save a life

if there is a Dollar Tree near you, they have entire food aisles

Planet Fitness also has $10 memberships. you can shower and they have free food days! pizza night 1st monday every month, bagel tuesday the 2nd tuesday every month.

Save a life reblog

i am so glad that i renblogged this however so long ago. i saw this post and shared it with others in mind, but now i am the one who really needs this. id like to think of this as good karma i guess

also a good list if anyone ever needs to run away from home for whatever reason.

let’s see if there really is someone out there for every pokemon.  reblog and tag your favorite unpopular/cringe/whatever pokemon that for whatever reason no one but you seems to like or even talk about really.  mine’s qwilfish 🐡