The World Is Quiet Here

we gotta stop pretending that anakin skywalker was a normal happenstance. it’s not every day that a bull moose breaks into a stash of cocaine, busts into an elementary school and stomps a classroom of children to death, and then spends the next twenty years murdering the shit out of every other moose it ever sees in all its life until it finally commits quasi-patricide by throwing its dad into the ocean. other jedi fell to the dark side of the force, and they killed, what, a couple people? other jedi are touched by the dark side, which means they really just had a pissy week? anakin touches the dark side and kills a few dozen people. anakin falls to the dark side of the force and then murders or attempts to murder almost everyone who ever knew him in middle school. anakin falls to the dark side of the force and then storms the jedi knitting club and starts cracking heads on the pavement. within ten minutes he has saddled up to go balls-to-the-window balls-to-the-wall batshit, he stops at the bodega by the jedi temple to shotgun a four loko and a sugar free monster energy before immediately proceeding to kill like a thousand fucking people with a sword

what anakin did was dramatic taking into account his jedi-turned-evil peers, but even considering his sith peers - those guys do some massacres. dooku does some mildly heinous shit and dresses like an art deco dark elf king, maul did like, i don’t know, some light manslaughter? i don’t know, the most significant thing he does is kill the guy who is adjacent to the guys that people care about. but in his first three hours as a sith, anakin stops between jedi murders #304-#305 to personally hand almost every other sith lord ever a “sorry you sucked so bad at being evil that a rabid college student could defeat you powered solely by space redbull, but maybe you should grow a spine and step up your game” dunce cap. the “congrats on being an evil pussy” dunce cap. all these other sith lords foamed at the mouth to murder jedi even the once, and anakin just fucking goes to town and wipes the floor with an entire temple of them in about six hours, and that’s not even where he stops. the dude just keeps doing shit. from then on he charges about half-cocked half-in-possession-of-his-sanity, seven feet tall and seven million murders deep, yelling incomprehensible nonsense like a ford fiesta burdened with sentience so it has to acknowledge how much it fucking sucks. but this ford fiesta chose to cope with its inherent, terminal and chronic suckitude by joining a cult predicated on the power of a) punching everyone you meet in the dick and b) hoping everyone you meet gets punched in the dick and c) getting punched in the dick

taking bets: what are the odds this was an ironic reblog to get my attention or is this the funniest fucking mistake of all time

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA THEY BLOCKED ME

I have a rather. Polarizing personality IRL. Which means that if I’m not making a new acquaintance laugh, they are almost certainly very weirded out and annoyed by me, and will come to disdain me if I don’t figure out how to woo them. Which is why I buy a lot of coffees for people.

One of my new coworkers is extremely shy and professional and wouldn’t have a full conversation with anyone. I kept inviting her along on errands and then when she said she didn’t need to stop for coffee I would pretend that a supernatural force had taken control of my body and of the vehicle and was piloting it into the Starbucks drive thru.

“This is so scary,” I said. “I think I’m possessed by some kind of coffee demon. I think the only way to exorcise it is to… let me buy you a treat!”

She did not crack a smile until like the third time I did this, at which point she just gave up and became my friend and now talks to me for hours. Thank god. If it had backfired I would have died.

if anyone tried to do this to me I would vomit my stomach onto them like a starfish

no worries I’d hold your hair back

it’s safe to say i think about this video at least four times a day, i can quote almost the whole thing from memory

this is the best sentence ever typed

me after the socialist revolution when yaoi is outlawed

Actually, as a cis woman who is a fujoshi, I plan on being the next communist dictator, so get fucked, OP.

A second best sentence has hit the twin towers

[id: Tweet by iconawrites, which reads: "I love public libraries because they are built on the principle that books are so important and so necessary to human flourishing that access to them cannot depend on your income." end id.]

I was a grown ass adult before I realized the library was free.  I went into the library and asked to join.  When they gave me the form to fill out for a library card, I asked if they took credit cards and the librarian had to explain to me that the library was free.  You did not pay to join it.

I cried.

ITS FREE?? YOU DONT EVEN HAVE TO PAY MONEY FOR THE CARD??? THATS AMAZING

I think some librsries might have you oay a small fee for the card but most dont.

Most don't charge for the card as long as it's your first one. There may be a $5 fee to replace it if you lose it.

Or not. Depends on the local library's funds. But their budget generally includes free cards for users.

Check nearby towns and cities too! There's a large city near me that charges a fee for non-residents, but since I work in the city I get to have a card with them for free!

Public run libraries in the us are free to use for all customers. There may be fines or fees associated, but bare bones use is 100% free. There are private libraries that cost a membership fee of some such, but they are rarer. What's available to you will depend on your area. Every major metro area has free public libraries, many small towns are connected to those major libraries and are also free. Literally just Google and find out what's around you. And even if there's only a private/for profit library, there are still some libraries that will give you access to their e-services even if you don't live near them.

Pussy

You're scared of a slightly brighter screen bitch.

cool new tumblr trend : “goodposting”

its when you share fun interesting things in a calm and friendly way

goodposting example: hey guys, just fucked a bug

no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i love you USPS I love you NASA i love you taxpayer funded services that actually contribute positively to society i love you libraries i love you public transport

For those non-USA non-southerners who may be wondering what the hell is going on in that Cracker Barrel tweet

Golf Tee Chinese Checkers is pretty darn close, @voidavoid

Basically every Cracker Barrel restaurant has one of these stupid peg games on every table, something to amuse & confound diners while they wait for their food.

Game starts with one empty hole. The idea is to remove pegs by jumping them into the empty hole, just like in checkers. Winning is accomplished by having exactly one (1) peg left.

But as a lifelong usa southerner however I have never heard it described as pegging but that’s definitely what I’m calling it from now on.

i’m starting a movement to stop calling this shit “artificial intelligence” cause it’s fucking not. it’s not intelligent, and the things it produces are not informed by logical choices. it doesn’t know how to research sources for you. it doesn’t compose art thoughtfully or meaningfully.

call it machine-generated, text generator, chat bot, but it’s not intelligent.

YES GOOD :D

Especially aimed at Florida, but available to anyone!

And if you want to help them out and have some extra cash, you can make a donation to help them continue their work:

Every reblog and donation is another slap to DeSantis.

If you can, it's time to warm up that pitching arm.

something im noticing is the redditors are just commenting on everything via reblogs with reckless abandon. and its so funny bc thats how youre MEANT to use this fucking website but we've trained ourselves out of it somehow.

I feel like a fucking chimp raised in a lab let out into the wild and just doing shit without understanding wtf is going on because I was raised to click the button to get cookie

Hot 4am take but I feel like if we want to get people more interested in making their yards a more habitable space for wildlife like insects, we have to acknowledge that ‘Don’t want bugs in your house’ is still a 100% fair and valid point of view. ‘Loves nature’ and ‘doesn’t want roaches spiders and mosquitoes in the house’ aren’t opposites.

And with that in mind, when we propose to people that spraying pesticides around houses is Not A Good Idea, Actually, I feel like we need to give an alternative asides from ‘deal with it.’

Yeah, I live in low income, rental housing near dumpsters. "Just deal with it" isn't meaningful advice for bug management in my home.

But "run a thin line of diatomaceous earth along the edges of the floor in each room, creating a pet-and-child-safe impassable barrier of death for crawling bugs inside the room but not really threatening anything outside it. It's the white powder that comes in a condiment bottle at your hardware store, but they make 50lb sacks of food safe stuff too" is much more helpful.

I'm still not sure what to do about the flies, but for roaches, that's been a life saver.

amitheasshole is a popular subreddit because it plays on peoples desire to get in the middle of other peoples private arguments

If dracula busted inside you he'd call it a screampie or some shit

He'd say im gonna edraculate

I hate that planned obsolescence is starting to reach fandoms. I hate that fandoms are starting to die after two, three years, I hate that whenever you stop getting content that means the fandom will die and be gone.

I need people to stop trying to brush off old interests as being 'cringe' as soon as you lose interest, or worse: make it seem like it's imoral to like something that they themselves held so dear before.

Fandoms are meant to last for years and years, the moment content stops being created is the moment we truly thrive because we keep creating the content ourselves the way we love it and expand on the things that are already there for us.

I don't care if you lost interest on something, it's fine and normal even, but stop trying to blame and make fun of people who still do love the fandom and the content and the things we can create.

I need people to enjoy fandom again

I just know he would support me in my hoe phase❤️