FistoFury

Commission for @daitoshi

Danny from the Cold Front, DPxGF Fancomic!! :>

if i tell yall what i did on the tram today yall would call it a fake tumblr story i think

oh?

so it helps to know that my mindset at the time was influenced by having been transphobically sealioned at a temping agency earlier, as well as spontaneously turning up to a different temping agency without an appointment & actually landing with them after THOSE guys turned out to be cool.

I was on the tram (crowded tram) (just after 11 AM) on my way home full of adrenaline still, and saw my dad eating a banana on the platform. I could get out of the tram to say hi, but then i'd miss the tram, or worse, hold it up. What i COULD do, however, is sprint out of the tram as soon as the door opens, take a bite from the banana my dad is holding, and SPRINT back into the tram before the doors close. So That Is What I Did.

unfortunately now roughly half of the passengers of the tram were looking at me like I was suddenly some sort of feral spirit of hunger or perhaps a strange insect of some sort.* Fortunately, the truth was also the ONE sequence of words that could make what they had just witnessed okay. I went "das ist mein papa!!!" which is german for "thats my dad!!!!!"

My dad seemed genuinely delighted by this btw. the look on his face was fucking PRICELESS

i would like to beat the little german boy accusations based on my behavior before they arise. i am in fact a tall german trans girl.

however in everything except body i AM calvin from calvin & hobbes

If you stop looking at your phone in every free moment it will feel a lot more anxiety-inducing at first but after a day or two you will settle into a slower way of thinking and eventually you will spend the whole morning looking at the sun rise through the window while you sip coffee or hold your sleeping partner and your thoughts wont feel like they’re on a treadmill

So funny story actually. One of my friends was hooking up with this girl, they were friends with benefits. She needed a date for some work party so he agreed to go with her. Turns out her dad owns like 3 dental practices and she worked as the business manager for one of them.

Anyway my friend had some not so nice teeth and during dinner the father of his fwb was like “you work where you work, you sleep with him and his teeth look like that? Get him an appointment.”and then bounced. So his fwb made him an appointment at the practice she managed and my friend ended up needing like 3k worth of dental work and his friend with benefits just gave it to him for free.

So that is the story of how my friend not only got sex, but dental out of the friends with benefits deal.

Just wanted to make a little thirst trap Link in frostbite set

I like the idea that Ganondorf can be charming when he wants to in order to reach his goal. 

Tears of the Kingdom: Wiggle to Detach (colorized)

(via Reddit - https://i.redd.it/3l3psi9lf20b1.png)

cishets are so great at mental gymnastics they simultaneously think we do it for attention and some sort of special queer privlage, while also being terrified of doing anything outside their gender roles because of how the people around them will treat them if they step out of line

m a y b e w e w i l l u s e y o u r m e s s a g e .

new chess rules:

-the queens cannot kill eachother because they are lesbians having an affair -you have to pick two pieces to be secretly in love and they cant kill eachother either -you have to make horse noises whenever you move the knight -the pawns have a union and if you sacrifice too many of them they will revolt -you have to have gay sex when youre done playing

a sister’s care and love are irreplaceable

hobbits were the peak of civilization in tolkien verse. jobs were Gardening, Stall At The Farmer’s Market, or Mailman. Shoes OFF, capris ON, 6 meals a day, high and fat as all shit. Names like Daddy Twofoot….why the fuck are we horny for elves

If Danny as the ghost king is required to have a summoning spell he is going to make it as inconvenient and weird for the summoner as possible.

All the symbols/runes have to be “drawn” in extra fine biodegradable (Sam’s input) glitter.

There’s no chanting instead they have to sing the entirety of hollaback girl, including the clapping and stomping.

Instead of sacrificing something, like a goat, the summoner(s) has/have to leave an energy drink in the summoning ring instead.

And no summoning between 700-1400 (CST), aka during school hours.

He does have backdoors for Jazz, Sam, and Tucker to be able to summon him almost immediately and ways for other people too if needed.

Thinking about this dumb show again

NORTHERN IRELAND ON IT’S WAY TO PARTY WHOOOOO YEAHHHH