It's the 1st of September, you know what that means

the gov’t don’t give a sh*t about the environment.

Tumblr, let’s take a stand

This needs way more fucking notes. Share this!

ugh fine my personal blog is not cutting so I’ll post here 

DO! NOT! DONATE! TO! AMAZON! CONSERVATION! NGOs! DO NOT!

they don’t act on the root of the problem, they don’t mitigate the effects of deforestation, they do have limited action and they don’t help conserve the forest land outside their very small grounds besides doing little to nothing to help the people who actually live in the amazon and conserve it on a daily basis

DONATE TO THE INDIGENOUS MOVEMENTS INSTEAD

they are organized, they can keep woodcutting companies away from their land, they are getting murdered for it, they are the only reason there is any forest left at all

The fact that Snape is one of the youngest if not THE youngest professor is fucking hilarious.

Like how does he get away with half the shit he does like almost everyone there has taught him since he was 11 and they just see this 21 year old just walk back in like "Sup fuckers I'm a professor now by force better so you better start treating me like one."

7th years in the school are like probably "Didn't this fucker graduate 3 years ago?"

Imagine being a fourth year who has done /said something to your classmate Snape and then in your 7th year he's your TEACHER

THAT'S LOCKHART THAT'S LITERALLY LOCKHART LIKE

1. He Went to School with Snape

2. Got taught by Snape

3. Became part of the Staff like Snape

And the Fact that he's acting like he knew shit about potions is hilarious cause you just got Snape in the corner like

"Listen here you little shit . I taught you. I've seen your test scores. I graded those shits and you coming in here talking about being able to come up with an antidote?...Sit down."

The more people reblog this the more shock I am that they didnt know Snape started teaching at like 21 and he's like 30 first book

People in the tags for the past week having been confused and going bananas so like we gonna forget about the movies. Because the movies got it all wrong

Snape is 31

Hagrid is 63

Professor Mcgonagall is 56

Lupin and Sirius and Peter (3rd movie/book) 33

Dumbledore is 112

Do what you will with this info fam

You forgot Burbage. In the books, she's in her twenties.

Bringing this back around, when Snape started teaching in Aug/September 1981, he was 21

In Aug/September 1981, Lockhart was 17 :')

lockhart, 17, never fucking learned how to read: actually professor ;-)

snape, professorially, as if he hasn’t just had his last growth spurt: on god, i’ll smack the shit out you. put—your hand—down.

@cokeworthcauldrons , your tags are fantastic

“We all have wounds Severus” 😂😂😂

By now, I think most of us are aware of the fires in the Amazon, but is there anything that we can do, especially those of us outside Brazil?

https://secure.avaaz.org/campaign/en/amazon_apocalypse_loc/?copy

Avaaz has a petition to protect the Amazon, you can donate too I think

thank you!!! This is actually the first I’ve seen of any petitions or donations for the Amazon, and I’ll definitely be signing

I am a little high but what if people proposed with beautiful, intricate knives. Ladies would gather around the table and be like “guess what finally happened!!” And pull this beautiful, intricate dagger out of her purse and all the other ladies would gasp and congratulate her

Me: I’m a little high but –

Y'all rushing to that reblog button:

It’s an awesome idea tho

Because I have a tag for pretty weaponry, some knives I’d accept as proposals follow:

I said yes! 

(but, actually, hubby bought me a dive knife when we got married so this works…)

I can 100% get behind this as a new tradition.

Ok but this is amazing becuase knives are dangerous and you can use them to hurt other people but when someone proposes with one it’s symbolic like “yes I love you and trust you so much I’m asking you a very vulnerable question with something you could hurt me with but I know you won’t”

Important details about the Marvel-Sony deal that nobody seems to be mentioning:

So, basically, what happened is this: Marvel, coming off the heels of making the number one highest-grossing movie in cinematic history (which Sony got no money from even though their characters were in the movie), and also having 5 of the top 6 highest-grossing movies of 2019 (the 1 they don’t have being Spider-Man: Far From Home), came to Sony and said ‘fuck you buddy we want 50% of the profits from your movies because we don’t have enough money,’ Sony said ‘how about we stick to our original deal?’ and then Marvel decided they wouldn’t help Sony make Spider-Man movies anymore, probably because they figure that it’ll lead to them being able to squeeze more money out of Sony. How the fuck is Sony the bad guy here in anybody’s eyes?

DISNEY IS BEING GREEDY STOP ENABLING THEM.

Add to that that Sony doesn’t get any revenue from Spider-Man merchandise, or any Marvel theme park rides that include Spider-Man - all that money goes to Disney and yet they still want more.

Reblog if you're bored and you want anons.

Send me weird stuff I had a long day

I’m bored so please

I know you guys aren’t gonna bc you NEVER do but I’m still posting ☹️

Weirder the better

when you draw a face, but you never bothered to get the body right first.

With the power of Photoshop we can combine our art skills…

…and create perfection.

This is beautiful

or better yet,

She has been wooed~

Never forget true romance 💕

SDJHJSDGFKSHKDHKFGSH

all of you complaining there are no npcs to give you quests in real life have never been to pride

you arrive at 8am. a lonesome bleach blonde wanders up to you holding a neon drink of indiscernible origin. “have you seen my friends?” he asks. by 8:05am you are on a manic hunt for his friends who he cant seem to provide information about at all

so you find his friends and you dont understand how this group of people met whatsoever. its like this rambling-and-often-singing twink, a confused straight guy who works at a vape shop, a married lesbian that came straight from vermont and spends the whole occasion missing and/or facetiming her wife. you love them. this is your party now

you and your party want a specific item. this is anything from food to a bottle of inexpensive water to a tshirt your new married lesbian friend thinks her wife would like. she swears she saw it at the vendor who had the rainbow umbrellas. when you next look, all the vendors are carrying rainbow umbrellas.

you dont find the tshirt and it has begun pouring rain. between the four of you there is $10. an umbrella costs $12. you now must figure out how to make two extra dollars

a vendor hears you discussing how best to earn $2 and says he will give you an umbrella for free if you say something silly, that seems to be an in-joke but feels kind of mean, to another vendor across the way.

you send the straight man. it is unclear whether he really does it but when he returns, it earns you the umbrella. the embarassment gives him a charisma debuff and you begin to like him a little less.

uh oh! the event is closing hours early due to the rain. the members of your party arrived in a parking you cant find and as you search, you pass an anti-gay preacher. you dont feel like standing in the rain but your party has begun rolling initiative

you fight the preacher and as you leave, remember where the car is parked. another guy youve never seen in your life has tacked himself onto your crew, explaining, “that was awesome!”

you understand immediately he will be the bards boyfriend. there is no other way.

your new friend offers you all food, which the married lesbian has an allergic reaction to. you end the night in the ER with a bunch of strangers. you do not ever see them again after this

So. 10th grade English class. We all come in one morning to find a balloon and a perfectly sharpened pencil on each of our desks. No instructions, no explanation, which is strange, because our teacher is meticulous about that sort of thing. A couple of people try to ask her and she says we’ll get to it. She takes role and then announces that she needs to go to the copy room and she’ll be back in a couple of minutes

Kinda unorthodox, but no one is complaining because this is advanced English and the teacher usually goes kinda hard. So, y’know. Brief respite. We all sit and chat; one of the boys teasingly steals a girl’s balloon, but gives it back to her easily enough; it’s quiet and kind of a nice break. Then the teacher comes back, stops in the doorway, and just stares at us

After a long moment, she says, confused, “You didn’t pop the balloons.”

To which one of the guys about two rows over exclaims, “We’re allowed to pop them?” and immediately turns around and stabs his friend’s balloon with the pencil

There is a vicious revenge balloon-stabbing, and a few more people pop seatmates’ balloons or their own, and the whole time the teacher is just shaking her head. “I can’t believe you didn’t pop your balloons.”

Apparently we were starting Lord of the Flies that day and she wanted to demonstrate the basic concept of kids turning on each other when there are no authority figures present and it was basically my favorite failed social experiment ever

Back in my 10th grade we did a similar things around Lord of the Flies, where we had a test scheduled for that day, and when we walked in, the teacher took role by looking through the window of the door and never entered the classroom. On the board were three tasks written and the teacher had brought in donuts. At first we all sat around and waited for the teacher to come in, but eventually we just started tackling the list of tasks. Task 1- the test. Everybody took it silently, no one cheated, everyone turned it in and we went on to Task Two: tidy up the room. So we did, we split into a couple groups and each one cleaned an area of the room. Task Three: Hand out the donuts. There were 12 donuts, and 30 of us. So we split the donuts into thirds, each took a third, and left the extras for the teacher. After this, the teacher came in absolutely FUMING. She was so upset we had followed all the rules and completed the tasks. Apparently she had been texting kids telling them to start some chaos but they all ignored it because they were too nice. She tried to dock our grades for not going absolutely wild because it meant her class didn’t get the point across

That’s because lord of the flies isn’t representative of humanity it’s representative of rich white male shitheads

Never forget that Golding wrote Lord of the Flies in response to an earlier book called The Coral Island in which a bunch of English schoolboys have a delightfully imperial time bringing civilization to a savage land, and Golding basically said “nah, those privileged shits would wreck the place”

ugh fine my personal blog is not cutting so I’ll post here 

DO! NOT! DONATE! TO! AMAZON! CONSERVATION! NGOs! DO NOT!

they don’t act on the root of the problem, they don’t mitigate the effects of deforestation, they do have limited action and they don’t help conserve the forest land outside their very small grounds besides doing little to nothing to help the people who actually live in the amazon and conserve it on a daily basis

DONATE TO THE INDIGENOUS MOVEMENTS INSTEAD

they are organized, they can keep woodcutting companies away from their land, they are getting murdered for it, they are the only reason there is any forest left at all

THIS is a a fund for indigenous peoples of the Amazon (Brasil only)

THIS is a link to donate from abroad to the indigenous women’s march, it has already happened but you can still donate to support the cause

THIS is a link to support the free land camp, and you can email them at apibbsb@gmail.com if you really want to find ways to support them, donations will go to APIB (Brazilian Articulation of Indigenous Peoples) and you can keep up with their news here

(APIB is coordinated by, among others, Sonia Guajajara! so if you know her you know this means shit will get done)

The third Spider-Man movie continues like normal but anytime any character from the MCU is mentioned, it's censored like a swear word and Peter Parker turns towards the camera like he's in The Office

That would be fucking hilarious actually

Hey you guys want to see an actively hilarious bonsai tree?

(source)

when you live in a tiny pot you have to flex even harder

where is that tree going

Places

my friend: [needs comfort]

me: oh Dang what are the Comfort Words

me: *flipping through the manual* there there?

my friend: *cries harder*

me: oh No they were the wrong Comfort Words

Here you go, all the Comfort Words

—

— “Laziness Does Not Exist” by E Price on Medium

(And a footnote I didn’t see explicitly covered in the article: laziness still doesn’t exist when it is you yourself making no progress and not knowing why. You deserve that respect and consideration, too, even from yourself.)

Something I sincerely wish everyone in any management capacity would understand better

dead leafs? that’s called yard salad now. and it’s the new food trend.

leaves*

where are you going

There is 1 braincell shared across this entire post

i just had the weirdest moment, i was feeling my front teeth with my tongue because they’re the tiniest bit crooked, and then i had the thought “i’ll check if they’re also crooked in my other mouth” and then i realized to my shock and confusion that i have only one mouth, leading me to believe that in a past life i was a terrible monster with two mouths

A few months ago, I thought to myself “Mmm I’m so tired… how much longer in this one again?” and I knew instinctively what I meant by ‘this one’ was this body and this life. I then spend a few wide-eyed moments having an identity/existential crisis like how many times have I been on this earth to have such an instinctive response to being bone-weary to my soul? No one can really answer, especially not me.

In July 2017, one night I woke up around 2 a.m and blurted out in a quasi professorial voice “the Equinox Bird has infinite beaks, all in the wrong direction, and infinite eyes” and I don’t know what the fuck I was dreaming about but it still haunts me. It seemed like a very important information for a few seconds.

i really appreciate the last commenter giving us an exact date and time like that information needs to be preserved

One time I passed out on the couch after going a few days without sleep, and when I woke up mom said I had been speaking in German in my sleep, and it sounded like I was ordering people to build something

When I was like 5 my mom took me to the grave of her friend that died of cancer and I asked what happened and my mom explained that she died and i fucking said “I died once” and my mom asked me to explain and I went into pretty detailed explanation about how I died in a war because “I got stabbed by a gun with a knife at the end” (my exact words) and I met god and she (she’s a woman obvs) asked if I wanted to stay or go back to earth and I said I wanted to go back so I chose my mom cause she was struggling to have a baby (she had me through IVF) and lemme tell you that changed her like nothing will make you second guess your religious beliefs like a five year old explaining heaven and god to you