Monster fucker this, monster fucker that. What if I want a monster RELATIONSHIP huh?! Monster HAND HOLDING, monster INTIMATE CONVERSATIONS, monster COMFORTABLE SILENCE??

Sorry to everyone who’s enjoyed the last 130 years of science and culture journalism, but Disney needs the money to fund Toy Story 9

Thank goodness! I was so worried the shareholders might not be able to afford their mid-year replacement Porsche! Whew!

fuck it, reblog to give the person you rb'ed this from a freshly baked buttery croissant.

i love it when you’re steeping some tea and you press a spoon against the teabag and the blood comes out

Black Mirror 6.05 "Demon 79"

HE RUINED MY DREAM JOURNAL!!!

Ｉ ｄｉｄ ｎＡＵＧＨＴｔ！ Ｍｉｓｔｅｒ Ｅｌｅｃｔｉｃ ｓｅｎｄ ｈｉｍ ｔｏ ｔｈｅ   ｐｒｉｎｃｉｐａｌ＇ｓ ｏｆｆｉｃｅ ａｎｄ ｈａｖｅ ｈｉｍ ＥＸｐｅｌＬｅｄ！

The line delivery, the acting, the fact that I can hear this without sound, the way they’re treating it as though this is a murder trial, and Mr. Electric’s reaction to this are part of what makes this scene hilarious

I will always reblog Mr. Electric Kill Him

It’s so funny

Ladies and gentlemen, Gay Blade

can i say something kind of mean

too many people on this site claim to be into toxic love cannibalism gore blood violence weird gross sex etc etc when it’s like 1. you are scared of having even regular sex and 2. you can’t even drink a beer bc it’s too icky like i don’t think you’re gonna be chugging human blood any time soon 👍

once again seeing a post indicating the presence of remarkable tumblr discourse I have managed to miss entirely

CHEESE ATTACK

Black Mirror Season 6

this made me cry

Our beautiful home

after a long day of doing laundry for the entire neighborhood, i walk into my kitchen and cook an amazing gourmet feast, which i then eat entirely while crouched in the corner set aside for dining. afterwards, i tuck my son into solitary confinement before making the long trek down the master bedroom hallway to bed, where i settle in with my wife who just finished bathing in our second bathroom's indoor swimming pool

WAIT THIS IS FUNNY

spring cleaning

if ur a terf get out

I have to say that “warm gentle glow emanating from the shell of a turtle” is without a doubt my favorite genre of lamp

The funniest thing you could do in any new outer space adventure / exploration media is have someone invite the ship's medic to the bridge and they'd be like "fuck no, I'm the main doctor for a whole crew, come see me if you break an arm or something, good luck exploring the surface of the Planet Made of Angry Poison Gas Clouds, With Teeth, Who Love the Flavor of Human Flesh or whatever the fuck it is, adios, see you in the canteen maybe, maybe not I'm fuckin busy." And you just barely ever see that character again.

Or the doctor is a recurring character and every time anyone needs them it's like, "Computer, locate the doctor," and the doctor is always in sick bay. Every time.

"Doctor, could you come to the bridge please? I'd like your opinion."

"Is it a medical opinion this time?"

"Yes."

"Then no, bring your medical question down here, to the medical room, the place specifically set aside for medical questions, filled with medical equipment which... get this... I use to answer medical questions."

why is he sitting like a 14th century monarch

he is one

everyone's like wehhhhh why doesn't doctor house gets suuuueeed! like my man. literally every patient he sees is someone that's been trying to find a diagnosis for ages. i could live with a little medical malpractice if it were coming from someone ready to break into my home to look for allergens and not simply half heartedly listen to me before suggesting I lose weight and take ages of back and forth arguing to order a single test

"it's medical malpractice" have u ever been a doctor? most medicine is malpractice. let the man limp around chewing vicodin doing 50 invasive tests please

Once Taub (derogatory) derisively said about a patient with unexplained chronic pain “7 doctors couldn’t find anything wrong with him, what does that mean?” and House replied without even thinking “it means they’re idiots” and proceed to work his ass off to diagnose the patient Taub wanted to write off as a faker or something. If a doctor had said that when that patient was ME, I wouldn’t dream of suing them in a million years