Yes?

No

— Louis L'Amour (via quotemadness)

4. If the car pulls up to you run in the opposite direction.

5. Walk with your keys in your hands and keep a key between each finger

6. If they put you in the trunk kick out the headlights

7. If you get lost find a woman with a child. Never ask a man for help (this one was drilled)

That scream fire piece of advice is literally life saving

8. Watch your shadows and reflections, especially if someone is walking behind you. A split second notice is better than none and will help you.

Yes this last one really saves lives y'all I do it all the time

girls have to learn to view the world like international intelligence agents just to be safe walking down the street. smh.

Elvis Presley playing catch at the back of his rented home at 14 Goethestraße, Bad Nauheim, Germany, during the spring of 1959. 

About an hour and a half ago I felt a cat jump on my bed and settle down, curled up next to me. Ten minutes ago the cat started meowing quite a bit, and it occurred to me that this didn’t sound like the meowing from the cats I own

This... this isn’t any of my cats.

Congrads on ur new cat!

Washing the void

With those huge pupils that water must be warm and the void is relaxed and safe. Yay!

A neighbor called and said she saw a swarm on a fire hydrant so I grabbed my bucket and ran there as fast as I could. I dabbed some lemongrass oil on the bottom of it and they walked in. After about 5 minutes I just scooped the rest in and bam! Free bees!

I got the queen on the first scoop too though. Apparently she was a new one because she was piping in there really loudly. This is my first personal swarm catch so honestly I’m not sure if that was supposed to happen or not.

What other website am i going to see posts where the op talks about “bam! Free bees!”

cats have their priorities straight its 1. stay warm 2. be fat 3. yeah

this changed me as a person

I’m in tears!

I just want to know how the writers of snl knew about my very specific sexual fantasy

my soul: saved 

One of my favourites

the shot of a pizza roll dragging across bare skin fucking kills me

EDIT: Okay, as it turns out I actually have Feels about this.

“What’s your name?” “I’ve never had one.”

Not only is this objectively the funniest line in the entire thing, but it also speaks to something deeper. Like, every bit guy who was in one scene gets a name. But not her, the ostensible star of the commercial. She exists only to feed her Hungry Guys. Her name is “Babe, we need more Totinos!”

That actually says… kinda a lot about heteronormativity and marketing.

They did two previous ones of these and, no, she never did have a name.

My actual sexual fantasy

This cured my depression

Is this what hell looks like

wish I could show this to someone in 1905 and make them throw up

hehe pea

despite what u may think naruto IS actually vaccinated..i had to use a blowgun but i got him